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December 19, 2016December 19, 2016About Us

2016 Fringies© – Worst Political Candidate

The thing about human elections in a democracy is that you get the winners you deserve. You also get the candidates you deserve since once you winnow out the crackpots and the perennial also-rans you are left with a class of political grifters who see an opportunity based on past victories for their ilk.

Since our revivification came the day after the 2016 election, the nominating committee used our post-election coverage to determine the potential winners in this special category of loserdom. The committee therefore did not address some of Fullerton’s more colorful electoral flame-outs, with their confusing, crackpot, or just embarrassing displays.

Somewhere along the line slouching became a permanent posture…

Larry T. Bennett. Ol’ Larry had everything going for him if this had been 1984. Well it isn’t 1984, and all those endorsements from brain-dead repuglicans and brain-dead boohoos didn’t help. Not even a leg up by the FPOA and hard pimping by our lobbyist-mayor could get this inert sack of lethargy over the obstacle course wall.

Ling Ling Chang. This empty suit was the hand-chosen candidate of the old Redevelopment mob to be our State Senator. It was believed that her Asian-ness would counteract the Asian-ness of Sukhee Kang. Well, things didn’t work out quite the way the playahs anticipated. A lot of voters saw through her phoniness, including a history of lying about herself to get elected.

Young Kim. Ms. Kim managed to mismanage her way out of the job as our Assemblywoman despite what turned out to be a pretty decent Republican turnout. True, she was hammered by a relentless barrage of attack mail from the state Democrats, but her own effort was feeble, disjointed and smacked of desperation a mile off.

Sukhee Kang. Ah! The Irvine carpetbagger completely misjudged the electorate in the 29th State Senate District and he misjudged his own lack of appeal and ability, including the ability to run and hide from Larry Agran and his own disastrous record in the City of Irvine. Sukhee was so weak he couldn’t salvage his own campaign with a massive infusion of Sukhee Kash. He couldn’t get past the primary. The whole Sukhee Scampaign was a horrendous and embarrassing train wreck.

December 16, 2016December 22, 2016About Us

2016 Fringies© – The Scariest Ghost of Fullerton Past

by Jan Florys Dog29 Comments

And now I present to you humans the nominations in the supremely important category of The Ghost of Fullerton Past. Why is this important? As an expert on the subject of ghosts myself, I can tell you that Fullerton never seems to be rid of hauntings by former inhabitant of the worst ilk. My former mistress was nominated in 2009 and finally took the home the prize in 2012, before she managed to re-materialize in something approximating corporal human form. Usually the nominees are culled from the large stock of horrific departed repuglicans such as Linda LeQuire who revisit you near every election time to promote this or that non-entity propped up on the campaign dais by Ed Royce.

This year was no different: the nexus was largely the misbegotten campaign of Larry T. Bennett, and how the grisly Ghosts of Fullerton Past manifested themselves to support the insupportable. The first five entries distinguished themselves by clambering up onto the rickety Bennettmobile.

Dick Ackerman. Scam artist and influence peddler who tried to sell the OC fairgrounds to a bunch of pals by illegally lobbying the Legislature. Yes he got a pass from our useless DA, just in time to run his laughable wife as a carpetbagger for the Assembly in 2009, and later lead the anti-recall campaign in 2012. “Scary” doesn’t begin to describe this lowlife.

Linda LeQuire. This hideous apparition rises every election cycle even tough almost nobody knows who it is anymore – which makes the haunting sort of tragic. Even worse, she brought along the comical side-ghost of her Earthly husband, Roy, this year. The noxious vapor, LeQuire, has the dubious distinction of winning this coveted Fringie© in 2009, but that in no way diminishes the contemporary horror.

Buck Catlin. Buck Catlin is also a former nominee in this category. His claim to fame was getting recalled in 1994 by voting to impose a completely unnecessary utility tax upon the populous.

The Three Bald Tires. Yes, you know them also as the Three Tree Stumps, the Three Dead Batteries, etc. Mssrs. Jones, Bankhead and McKinley were recalled in 2012 for their deplorable behavior in the aftermath of the Kelly Thomas killing, and their die-hard love of the illegal water tax. They re-emerged on the political scene this fall, thinking their estimable reputation would help Bennett. More than likely it hurt, and hurt badly; but no sympathy for Ol’ Schlep Larry – he obviously solicited their endorsements. Pathetically, each of these burned out bulbs brought along his spouse to the party to join in yet another electoral humiliation.

Matthew J. Cunningham. Third tier squealer for the County’s repuglican grifters, this creature is more greasy than scary, and has left a shiny green slime-trail across our pages over the years. Since we saw him last he has been toiling away for Curt Pringles’ influence peddling machine in Anaheim; working against a homeless shelter; and in 2013 he even set up a votive candle to the Virgin Mary next to a mangled teddy bear – on the anniversary of a Latino’s death – shot by Anaheim cops. In November he emerged from his hole on cue to blame Bruce Whitaker for Bennett’s embarrassment.

And finally, a non Bennett-related entry.

Lou Ponsi. This specter popped up as a writer for the utterly lame and publicly funded Behind the Badge, touting the good works of our cops, specifically in bribing kids with a Thanksgiving dinner to be good little barrio tykes. Nobody involved seemed to pick up on the rather demeaning condescension involved in this display, but FFFF did. Ponsi spent many years regurgitating the lamest and most insipid sort of pabulum for the local Register rag, swallowing everything he was dished out like a hungry little bird, and never asking a single probing question about the behavior of the Fullerton Police Department and its employees. Not one. Ever. None. Nada.

There they are, human Friends. A scarier rogues gallery shall ye never find. Them’s your potential winners. And by winners I mean we all lose.

December 15, 2016December 15, 2016About Us

2016 Fringies© – Best Most Outrageous Cover Up

by The Fullerton Harpoon16 Comments

In this abbreviated FFFF year, we really only have two cover-ups to offer. And you know what they are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9KyMyo-fcA

First is the caught-on-video assault and battery/false arrest of an FJC kid by an arrogant old sonnovabitch named Dino Skokos, an ex-cop with a “disability” retirement and obvious anger management issues. The FJC mush-mouth machine went into immediate Orwellian production mode, including hiring a law-firm that specializes in defending government agencies to conduct an “investigation.” Ha. I lift my leg on them.

If there’s a bottom to this, you won’t get there…

Then, of course, there is the Case of the Mysterious Disappearing City Manger, in which Mr. Joe Felz, while motoring home from a series of parties, jump a Glenwood Avenue curb, uprooted a tree and tried to drive off. Stopped by the cops, he flashed his stay-out-of-jail card, got a pass and a ride home. The citizenry was promised an “independent person” investigation and was told cryptically of some sort of “ongoing (or potential) criminal investigation.” No details have been forthcoming and nobody is holding his breath waiting to ever see any.

December 15, 2016December 15, 2016About Us

The 2016 Fringies© – Best/Worst Image

by Jan Florys Dog7 Comments

Here, Friends is the first 2016 Fringie© category – Best/Worst Image. Ever popular, this category features pictures that are outstanding – in one way or another. They make you laugh; they make you cry; they make you run screaming into the night – an occurrence that can only be avoided by generous dopings of mescaline and stiff G&Ts. And that’s the recipe that fuels our hard working Nominations Committee as they toil well into the wee hours, laboring on our behalf. Here are the fruits of that labor.

The head and the hat were a perfect match…

Hardhat Man. everybody is familiar with the politician who makes himself ridiculous by wearing an inappropriate hat. The result is always cringe-worthy. Here is your esteemed city council person Doug “Bud” Chaffee making like a construction worker. The little lapel flag is precious. We are in the presence of a patriot.

Medusa Flory. Sweet effervescent, glow-in-the-dark Jebus! This horrifying rendition of my former mistress makes me want to barf up my kibble. Such things should not be inflicted upon the living…or the dead. Grrrrr.

Sappy McTree. Poor Sappy McTree. Never hurt a fly. And I never even got a chance to pee on him. Ah! Only the good die young.

Happy Joe. This image was used so often by FFFF that I almost got tired of it, but never did. Joe is gone now, but his happiness lingers on – especially in downtown Fullerton.

It wasn’t safe. but it sure was uncomfortable…

GoPed Dude. GoPed Dude emerges as a dark horse candidate in the category. And by dark horse candidate, I mean a symbol of what awaits you Fullerton citizens when the out-of-town development interests get through with you. GoPed Dude sure looks maniacally persistent, and even multi-tasks as he makes his way past impenetrable traffic on Lemon Street. But does he deserve a coveted Fringie©?

And there you have ’em Friends.

December 14, 2016Chronic Failure

Drive As We Say, Not As We Do

by Joshua8 Comments

Once again the Boys & Girls in Blue have decided to insult the residents of Fullerton with a poorly timed Press Release via the F.P.D. Facebook Page where they tell that we need to “Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over” and that they’ll be “stepping up enforcement” of impaired driving laws.

This Press Release is actually dated yesterday, 13 December 2016, the EXACT same day that it was announced at the Special City Council Meeting that the City Manager, Joe Felz, has left his position with the city. Weepy words from Jennifer Fitzgerald notwithstanding we know that Felz left owing to his own alleged D.U.I. Hit-&-Run that F.P.D. and the City Attorney are still attempting to cover up with boilerplate legal obfuscation and the myth of an ongoing investigation.

From the Press Release;

“We want to keep our roads safe for the holiday travelers, so we will have zero tolerance for drunk or drugged driving.”

F.P.D. will have zero tolerance. Zero! None I dare say.

Unless of course you’re part of the upper echelon of our City’s Bureaucratic Bureaucracy and can get the Police Chief on speed dial.

I figured the award for most clueless response to the Felz departure would go to Fitzgerald & Flory for their nonsense praise but this press release might take the cake. To be fair the F.P.D. probably didn’t know that Felz was on the way out when they wrote this little public service announcement but they certainly knew of their own culpability in the continuing culture of city corruption.

Word on the street is that City Hall is glad to be rid of Felz and now they’re just itching to get rid of his sycophantic entourage that continues to make city life miserable. Stay tuned as we might be able to help with some of that as time passes. If any intrepid City Employees want to help foster some more changes you know how to reach out to us here at F.F.F.F..

December 14, 2016December 18, 2016Fringie Awards

Cheap Fringie© Nomination Trick

by Mr. Peabody15 Comments

December 14, 2016About Us

2016 Fringie© Nominations Are In!

by Jan Florys Dog11 Comments

Dear Friends. You probably believe you don’t deserve to have the Fringies© inflicted upon you. You are wrong. In a democracy you humans get the sort of government you deserve – every time. Now, whether you believe you have a democracy in Fullerton is a discussion for another day.

Anyway, quit yer bitching. You never heard me complaining when my mistress was in a mood and the broom was out.

In the next few days I will present to you a hoary, old FFFF Holiday Season tradition – the Fringie Awards©, starting with the all important nominations. Obviously the brief period of our re-animation means that the award categories this year will be somewhat abbreviated. But don’t blame me. I’ve been biding my time in Doggie Heaven for almost four human years waiting for you to call upon my services.

December 11, 2016December 11, 2016A Step in the Right Direction

Make It One For My Baby, And One More For The Road

by Joe Sipowicz26 Comments

Another party on a Tuesday night, and no DUI stops!

How fitting. Soon to be former councilwoman Ms. Jan Flory, one of the principal architects and mother hen of downtown Fullerton’s out-of-control culture of vodka. vomit and vehicular mayhem, is tossing herself a going away party. And naturally it’s at one of Fullerton’s ~~fine dining establishments~~ bars.

Here’s the outreach:

———- Forwarded message ———-

From: Jan Flory [mailto:jflory1@sbcglobal.net]
Sent: Wednesday, December 07, 2016 11:07 AM
Subject:

Good morning!

As you know, the new council will be seated on 12/13/16 at 6:30 p.m. Would you pls get the word out that I will be having a soiree at Joe’s Bar and Grill after that council meeting. I’ll have appetizers and a no-host bar to celebrate my leaving the council. That doesn’t sound right, but it will be better than a funeral. People will probably start showing up between 7:30 and 8.

Thanks a bunch and thank you for keeping so many people informed.

Jan Flory

You would think a Fullerton City Councilperson would be a little reluctant to have a political party at a downtown saloon given what happened the last time this occurred – five scant weeks ago.

You’ve got to love the message of the “soiree”:

“I’ll have appetizers and a no-host bar to celebrate my leaving the council.”

Maybe Flory figures if you have to buy your own drinks you’ll be a lot less likely to get drunk, drive off the road on the way home and require the interim police chief to cover up the whole mess.

We probably won’t be there, but we’ll be celebrating, too.

December 8, 2016December 9, 2016Chronic Failure

Good Bye and Good Riddance

by The Fullerton Shadow63 Comments

You have nothing to lose but your brains... — You have nothing to lose but her angry refrains…

Our old friend the historian Karl Marx wrote: History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.

And so in Fullerton we have had the spectacle of Jan Flory, a councilperson who worked us over good for two dismal terms in office, was driven out, and who returned 10 years later to provide the final act of a deplorable career.

Back in 1994 Flory ran as the Establishment candidate to push back against the reform-minded Recall that dared to drive out the incumbent stooges who imposed an unnecessary utility tax. She was the perfect candidate to advertise the fear and loathing the Old Guard had for anybody outside their inner circle.

In her first go-round she obligingly put her fingerprints on every big-government, no accountability scam put in front of her. She supported the illegal “in-lieu fee” water tax; she voted the cops and firemen the bank-breaking 3@50 retirement formula. She approved massive apartment projects in downtown Fullerton and actually voted to give away public streets to private business interests. She voted for every Redevelopment boondoggle that crossed her path. She bought the “Poisoned Park.”

And every step along this trail of tears she palpably dripped bitter venom for those who dared cross the “experts” at City Hall. Tragedy, indeed.

From 2002 to 2012 we were mercifully spared the the effluence of vindictive spleen sprayed on anybody who had the temerity to question what was going on in their own government.

But in 2012 the moribund Establishment needed someone to ride to their rescue; and to defend, deny, excuse, ignore and cover-up the serial crimes committed by the police department; and to fight the agenda begun by a new council majority, ushered in by yet another recall perpetrated by unwashed outsiders. Who better to call upon than the old warhorse, herself.

Yes she won, by a scant 29 votes, and she immediately resumed her old role. Yet something was missing. Yes, the muumuus and wood beads were still there, and so was the old, surgically implanted steel rod. The complete lack of humor, grace or introspection suggested the Flory of old. But you could tell. Her heart wasn’t in it. Her performance was thin, shadow-like, even as she continued the water rip-off, covered-up the FPD Culture of Corruption with gargantuan out-of-court settlements, approved four non-balanced budgets – raiding reserves $43,000,000, approved more massive apartment blocks – activities that in the past would have brought a smug, self-satisfied smirk to her sneer. But the old joy was gone.

The third act was a farce – even until the inevitable bitter end: as left she hoped to give Fullerton a parting gift – the sad sack and detumescent Larry Bennet, whose job would have been to keep the “For Sale” sign over the sliding doors of City Hall.

Ah, well. Now, Mrs Flory departs again, hopefully for the final time. And as we see this petulant shrew out the door, let’s always remember her words from the 2012 campaign: to my lights… the city department heads are the heart of the city.

December 5, 2016December 5, 2016Behind Closed Doors

Who Watches the Watchers?

by Mr. Peabody8 Comments

No news is good news... — No news is good news…

A while back Fullerton City Councilman Bruce Whitaker proposed the creation of an audit oversight committee, rather like the one they have at the County. His concern was that the City do more than just meet the bare minimum of accounting standards, but is actually doing the things that are legally required by some of our budget funds. This is called accounting for management. Are you curious to see how his colleagues felt about the idea? Enjoy this clip:

The head and the hat were a perfect fit.

How entertaining! Bud Chaffee sees the proposal as bureaucratic metastasis and preposterously claims to want to reduce the number of city commissions! The proof of this big government liberal’s insincerity (okay, he’s a liar) can be found by counting the number of commissions proposed for elimination by Chaffee both before and after this escape of gas. What? You want a round number? How about the roundest number of all: 0.

The bars stayed open and the band played on... — The bars stayed open and the band played on…

Missus Flory chimes in with her generous offer to act as “interpreter” with her staff for Mr. David Curlee, who has actually uncovered evidence that the City government most assuredly did not want advertised: very possible misfeasance in the Brea Dam area accounting, (including out of fund transfers) that could actually jeopardize the whole enterprise. Apart from the fact that Flory couldn’t understand the illegal water tax ripoff in 2012, she is hardly qualified to discuss accounting issues at all. She is so drenched in venom; just look at the utter disdain she demonstrates for a “a few verbal allegations.”

I hear you. Well, no I don't, not at all. — I hear you. Well, no I don’t, not at all.

Finally we see our Lobbyist-Mayor buzz in. She “hears” what Whitaker is saying but her retort is that Fullerton only hires “experts.” She includes the lamentable example of hiring Michael Gennaco to oversee the FPD Culture of Corruption, one of the most egregious examples of a cover-up anybody could possibly think of (she says she’s proud of it!). She too, seems to believe that the “expert” accountants the City hires to look at the financial documents do anything other than make sure the numbers all add up at the end, don’t ruffle any feathers, and collect their fat taxpayer funded fees. Of course Ms. Lobbyist-Mayor’s statements are just as phony as Chaffee’s. See, un-expert Fitzgerald herself sits on a citizens’ audit oversight committee – for the Fullerton Joint Unified High School District.

You pay the mortgage, we live in the palace... — You pay the mortgage, we live in the palace…

Well, Friends, there you have it.