With The Fringe On Top: Most Entertaining and/or Disturbing Image of 2009

We use a lot of graphics here at FFFF, and some of them are entertaining and some even a bit, well, disturbing. To recognize the more engaging pictures on our site we nominate the following in the category of Most Entertaining and/or Disturbing Image of 2009.

Can someone please open a window?
Can someone please open a window?

1. Matthew J. Cunningham, who actually posted this picture of himself on his own blog. We borrowed it often and mercilessly.

Suddenly I was on the floor looking up at Officer Rubio.
Suddenly I was on the floor looking up at Officer Rubio.

2. From the News Tribune’s ace reporting about Chief McKinley’s vest, we present Officer Rubio. Say, Rube, can you get a matching handbag for that?

Nothing says "screw you" like a beer bottle in the face.
Nothing says "screw you" like a beer bottle in the face.

3. This gem was mined from a youtube clip showing the confrontation of CBS/KCAL reporter Dave Lopez and our old pal Dick Ackerman. The gift that keeps giving!

Gut punch on the way...
Gut punch on the way...

4. 2006 Miss Fullerton & Don Bankhead. She would soon trade in her tiara for a set of brass knuckles.

Bon appetit!
Bon appetit!

5.This tasty little morsel was served up in the final post about the City Lights SRO debacle. It is now a staple in the Dick Jones pantry.

Friends Around the World...
Friends Around the World...

6. Here’s a family portrait of Papuan Highlands Headman B’rni (Barney) Wewak, a foreign exchange student at Troy High School in 1974. We have been favored with several posts by Barney in 2009 and look forward to more in the year ahead.

It's a bird, it's a plane...
It's a bird, it's a plane...

7. Finally, we round out our nominees with this image of Jan Flory, my former mistress. I wish she had always been in such a good mood. We gave her cooking sherry for Christmas.

More Fringe Recognition: Government Small Change Adds Up

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Although the worst governmental bureaucratic bungles and miscreance often costs millions, some are relatively inexpensive and can be brushed off (by the perpetrators) as small change. But these small change expenditures have to be paid for by somebody, and that somebody is you and me. And it all adds up. Quickly. Anyhoo, here are the nominees for the 2009 Government Small Change Adds Up Fringie Award.

1. County Deployment of Certified Helment Fitters. We can’t even calculate the wasted time and resources, and it probably isn’t very great. Still the whole thing was such a wonderful example of a decent idea (giving poor bike riding kids safety helmets) that quickly metastasized into a typical farce. We did get to learn, however, that Pam Keller is a certified helmet fitter. Front. Back. Got it?

2. Roscoe’s Famous Nuisance “Sound Study.” This little gem cost the city (us) $16K, and was a part of a plan to let Jack Franklyn keep playing amplified outdoor music. The “study” was performed by BonTerra, a land use opinion for hire, and not a qualified acoustical engineer. It all came to naught when the council finally decided to stop a very long pattern of looking the other way to multiple Municipal Code violations.

3. Red light camera legal fees. As a subset of another category we include this one. over $14,000 to attorney’s Jones and Mayer who lost the red light camera lawsuits. Well, that’s not so very much, is it?

4. Chief McKinley’s Cop Vest. We hear it was developed on lots o’ company time, but the cost to the taxpayers came in another form, too. A $100,000 stimulus grant in Obama Bucks bought a bunch of these vests for McKinleys own cops. Loretta Sanchez took the credit for these vests that cost twice as much as their predecessors. Still, they do have pockets for your penlight and your house keys. Decoder ring accessory optional.

This episode did create a wonderful image that is being considered for a Special Fringie Award. No hints. Use the link!

The Fringies on A Roll: Worst Bureaucratic SNAFU

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What’s that you say? The pickings are just too plentiful to settle on a mere handful of nominees? True. But let’s not let that hinder our purpose. And remember. We are not just scoping out the most expensive screw-up by highly paid public servants. No. We are also going after the comical and the perplexing, too. So here goes, in the category of Worst Bureaucratic SNAFU. And by SNAFU we really mean embarrassing bungle. And by embarrassing bungle we mean FUBAR.

1. The hilarious Magical Football Stadium that materialized out of nowhere at FJC when NOCCCD bond revenue squanderers revealed their complete contempt of, or ignorance of, (or both) the California Environmental Quality Act; a law that you or I would violate only at the risk of incarceration.

2. The Poisoned Park. True most of the horrific damage was done years ago in the whole Union Pacific Park fiasco, but City Manager Chris Meyer has put his own special stamp of futility on the mess by unilaterally closing the non-toxic part and ordering – you guessed it – more Redevelopment! The perfect bureaucratic antidote for what ails you! Waste millions? Don’t worry, there’s more where that came from!

3.The Great Hillcrest Park Massacre. So what do you do when you own an historic resource? That’s easy. First you neglect it terribly for years and years; then you let pervs hang out there; then you waste money building unnecessary and unwanted facilities that you can run and charge the public for; finally you just start ripping it up so you can rebuild it. Bravo! Well done!

4. The incredibly stupid affair of the Red Light Cameras documented here, here, and here. Policy disaster; financial embarrassment; dismal legal entanglements. You want ’em? We got ’em. The sad tale of Fullerton’s relationship with Nestor Traffic Systems and the eventual legal bills for lost law suits paints an ugly picture of bureaucratic bungling.

5. The Trail of Tears. Rather than abandoning the idea of continuing the foolish “Trail to Nowhere” along the contaminated Union Pacific ROW (see nominee #2), the City is forging ahead, trying to get other people’s money to extend the horse trail without horses; the bike trail without bikes; the paseo without paseo-promenaders. As in most of these cases the City Council is complicit in the thing, but as we all know…

Good God who’s in charge over there?

FSD Teachers: Get Ready for a 10% Pay Cut

Fullerton teachers, it’s time to be frank with you because the school board and your union will not.

There will be no new parcel tax to save the FSD budget. Due to unsustainable concessions to the teachers union in previous years, the Fullerton School District will have to cut teacher pay next year. The budget hole is enormous and there are no foreseeable alternatives.

Yes, the educrats and union leadership are starting to fill your head with allusions of a new tax on Fullerton residents that will save the day. But the idea that 2/3rds of Fullerton voters would agree to a big tax increase in the middle of a deep recession is absolutely laughable.

FFFF’s appointed delegate to the FSD Budget Scapegoat Committee has provided us with this matrix of salary reductions to close the budget gap that could be as large as $11 million next year. The proposed salary cuts were put together by district administration.

FSD-Salary-Reduction
Hey, it goes all the way to 20%

Nobody likes to see their neighbor take a pay cut, but there are probably other ways for the union to deal with this. For instance, teachers might be able to make larger concessions to their lavish retirement scheme or the high-class benefits package in order to preserve salary.

Either way, the school board is going to find their hands tied and the choice will be in the hands of the union – Take the cut or strike. Is it really all about the children? We’ll see…

The Big Fringie: The Most Awful Political Candidate

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In an off-election year we normally wouldn’t even dream of collecting nominations. Fortunately for us (and unfortunately for the voters) Mike Duvall got caught on a hot mike, plus we have several early contenders for 2010 to consider. And consider we shall. And by consider I mean rake over the coals. In the category of The Most Awful Political Candidate 2009, the nominees are:

1. Chris Norby for County Clerk. This brief but hysterical run included the now immortal slogan “preserving your vital records,” a motto so energizing that it was being repeated across the County by frenzied campaign volunteers. Here, here, here.

2. Of course the Ackerwoman campaign in the 72nd Assembly District. Lying deceitful, transparently crooked. She even made Norby look good. And her candidacy dredged up all of the OC Repuglican bottom-feeders for us to contemplate. Yech. Arf. Grrrrrr. There are too many posts to link. if you actually care (and we don’t blame you if you don’t) just do a search in our handy search box.

3. 2010 is right around the corner. For Anaheim Hill’s resident Harry Sidhu it’s been right around the corner for the better part of 2009. See, Harry’s been running for OC 4th District for quite some time already. Why is his campaign awful? First because he is now just coming across as a perpetual office seeker, he was just re-elected to the Anaheim City Council last fall, and because the SOB doesn’t even live in the district.

4. Lorri Galloway. See above. At first some of us thought she was just a decoy set up by Tom Daly promoter, John Lewis. Some still think she was and later double-crossed him. At any rate she promised to bring pretty shoes to the BOS and boy did that little joke go over well. Later she started handing out fortune cookies. Sad. She doesn’t live in the district either! What is it with these people?

Missing Person: James Wernke

Update 12/15 11:30 AM:  ABC7 and KTLA are reporting that James Wernke’s body was found near a creek this morning, 100 yards from St. Jude in a wooded area. Reporting no signs of trauma. Think water swept him away.

Update 12/15 7:30 AM: KFI is reporting that joggers this morning found a dog wondering behind Brea Dam that matches the description of the missing dog.

Update 12/14 6:00 PM: The Office of Emergency Services has offered the use of their search and rescue team to do an all night grid search of undeveloped areas including and surrounding the Brea Dam area, and adjacent trails.  They will be staging at the Sports Complex, and the lights will be on all night.  In addition to the search the PD is pursuing additional leads which may have a bearing on the missing person case.

Fullerton Police are looking for James Wernke, who went missing on Saturday, December 12th in Fullerton. He was last seen with a yellow Labrador near Sunnywood Dr. and Hermosa Dr. around 1 p.m.

Jason-Wernke

James Wernke is 6’4″ tall and weighs approximately 190 pounds. He has blue eyes and sandy blond hair.

James had no identification, jewelry, or money on him when he left, according to his family. He may have his cell phone with him because his family hasn’t been able to find it anywhere.

Jason-Wernke2

If you have any information about James Wernke’s whereabouts, please contact the Fullerton Police Department.

The Fringies Advance Apace: Worst Vote 2009

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UPDATE: WE HAVE NOW INCLUDED LAST NIGHT’S (12/15/09) CITY COUNCIL VOTE TO APPROVE THE RICHMAN HOUSING PROJECT (SEE #6). SINCE THE COUNCIL IS DONE VOTING IN 2009 WE CAN NOW CLOSE THE NOMINATIONS.

The Worst Vote 2009 category is reserved for politicians who really stepped in it big time. This is one of the biggies, so you won’t want to miss this award. Here are the five nominees:

1. Councilman Don Bankhead deserves recognition, all right. In a 22-year council career jam-packed with horrible decisions this year he truly distinguished himself. His “until death” support of the completely horrendous $6 million McDonald’s relocation move was just breathtaking. Even Doc Heehaw opposed that one, and that’s saying a lot.

2. A joint nomination: Don Bankhead (again!), Pam Keller, and our old pal Dick Jones for their brainless devotion to the Redevelopment expansion founded on a fraudulent finding of blight. We have catalogued all the idiotic things said in defense of the indefensible, and its an impressive catalogue of confused thinking, indeed. And FFFF has sued the Agency to help it get it’s collective mind right.

3. Another joint nomination. FSD Trustees Hilda Sugarman and Ellen Ballard for voting to hire (for up to $100,000) a consultant to “study” the feasibility of a parcel tax. Minard Duncan is also included in this nomination since he abstained, too cowardly to even make a decision one way or the other. Say why does Ed Royce keep endorsing Ballard and Sugarman? (Rhetorical question only – no response necessary).

4. The Fullerton Planning Commission for actually granting Jack Franklyn a bogus “special events” permit covering numerous events  for several months so that he could continue to offend his neighbors with outdoor amplified music at Roscoe’s Famous Nuisance. We also note that one of his neighbors subsequently went out of business and another Franklyn enterprise is moving into the empty space.

5. The entire City Council for mindlessly jacking up the commodity rates on water and in doing so increasing the in-lieu franchise payment to the General Fund. Not a single council person even bothered to ask why. Shame, shame, shame.

6. Don Bankhead, Pam Keller, and Dick Jones. Again. And Again. For their vote to approve the utterly ill-conceived, staff-created Richaman Avenue subsidized condo project. Shawn Nelson recused himself.

The Fringies Continue: Least Distinguished “Journalist”

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As you Friends may well imagine, this category is chock-full of worthy nominees. In fact, choosing them was a real challenge. 2009 was an excellent year for journalistic incompetence, and our nominees each qualified for slightly different reasons. The nominees for Least Distinguished “Journalist” are:

1. Sharon Kennedy. She is nominated for her reprehensible tactic of forwarding Chris Norby’s anti-Redevelopment essays on to City Hall, where a staffer wrote responses and Don Bankhead, between pudding breaks, signed them. Hardly the actions of a responsible journalist. Which is why we put the word in quotation marks in our title.

2. Barbara Giasone. Barbara distinguished herself last year by snagging the coveted Wurlitzer Prize. This year she earns a Fringie nomination by an entire year’s worth of vapid vacuity. Just think of it. The Earth has accomplished a full orbit of the Sun and Babs has not made a single journalist contribution to the folks of Fullerton. An accomplishment crying out for recognition.

3. Frank Mickadeit. This homunculus receives his nomination for outstanding and relentless ass-kissing of the Repuglican elite – formerly people like Mike Carona, but this year Ackerman, Inc., as he slavishly passed along all of Dick Ackerman’s bullshit to the dwindling number of OC Register readers.

4. Lastly, lets not forget Mickadeit’s Register colleague Martin Wisckol, who seems to suffer from the same sick infatuation with the Repuglican clique’s collective posterior that infects Mickadeit. This year Wisckol distinguished himself by acting as Ackerman, Inc. press agent, doing so from the very beginning of the Ackerwoman scampaign. Our intrepid reporter even contacted the Ackerwoman in France as soon as the Duvall deal went down. Later he passed along her lame “businesswoman” resume as a matter of fact, not invention. Suspicious minds smelled collusion. Suspicious minds were right.

The Fringies: Nominations Begin

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Yes, Friends, it’s time to recognize the outstanding among us Fullertonians. And by outstanding I mean the brain-dead, the lethargic, the incredibly stupid, the greedy, the shifty, and, every so often, the actual achievers. So let’s start. 

In the category of Stupidest Statements Made in Public in 2009 we have four nominees. It’s interesting because three of them center around the person of City Council woman Pam Keller.

1. First is Pam Keller herself with the now legendary “fiscal conservatives as the five of us are” comment. It’s not long but it’s pretty breathtaking. Here’s the link to the post.

2. Second is the loud-mouthed member of Pam’s Posse with no “political whatevers” who made a spectacle out of herself with a long-winded, lame, and ultimately satiro-brilliant string of drivel about why Pam Keller should be mayor. Although not nominated because she didn’t actually say anything,  Saint Joan at the Stake in the background deserves special recognition for wonderfully pious gestures and glances skyward. Enjoy again

3. Third, this wonderful piece of utter nonsense uttered by every one’s favorite hysterical corn pone pontificator, Dick Jones, on why you don’t change horses in mid-stream, and why Don Bankhead should be mayor two years in a row – because (not in spite of the fact!) that the City’s proverbial barrel bobs along in a “raging financial torrent” toward Doc Heehaw’s “symbolic Niagara Falls.” Great fun.

4. Finally, there’s  this pearl  mumbled out by Council aspirant Marty Burbank last summer: “as a lawyer” he doesn’t know if the Redevelopment expansion is legal, but of course he supports it anyway. Well he certainly demonstrates all the requisite qualifications to be on the Fullerton City Council with this gem.

On the Agenda: December 15th, 2009

City-Council-AgendaThe Fullerton City Council has just released their agenda for December 15, 2009 and it’s a fat package!

Something near and dear to me is baseball so I take a little more interest when the subject shows up on the agenda.  Item 2 of the closed session is a conference with the real property negotiator concerning 304 W. Commonwealth Avenue.  It would appear that the Orange County Flyers of Fullerton want to move to downtown Fullerton to be closer to City Hall.  In fact they want to have the baseball field across the street where many a young man played pony league baseball.   The Duane Winters Field just might be the sight of the next Golden Baseball League Championship.  In March 2007 the team gave up being the Fullerton Flyers because the new partners wanted to be more marketable.  Hmm, sounds like an Arty Moreno stunt!  So the changed to the Orange County Flyers.  I have a t-shirt that says “Top 10 Reason’s To Be a Fan: …Reason #4: They aren’t the L.A. Flyers of Fullerton.”  That’s true; they’re the O.C. Flyers.  So, will Parks and Rec Director, Joe Felz, give them the field?  We’ll see…

Also in the closed session is another real property whiz-bang.  Rob Zur Schmiede is working on 655 W. Valencia.  In 2007 this was a 63 unit condo by John Laing and the project was in plan check.  3+ years later, what could they be discussing?  Price and terms with C&C Development’s Barry Cottle, according to the agenda.

In the open session you can look forward to a presentation by MWD  and a few awards to people like Quirk-Silva, Dick Waltz, and – drum roll please – The Golden Bell Award, Fullerton Union High School District and (another drum roll please) Fullerton School District!  How ya like dem apples?

Make sure you fill out your blue card before you yell at the council – which you will want to do…

There are a few appointments being made to the Library Board of Trustees.  Your favorite Mayor, Don “Don’t Mess With Me” Bankhead and Shawn “See Ya Later Alligator” Nelson.  Their terms are to expire December 31, 2012 – if they last that long.

We have a busy consent calendar to cover so hang on tight.  In the mix is the amended landscaping ordinance, group insurance for city employees, the employee’s deferred compensation, more sewer replacement, a bunch of Redevelopment stuff, air pollution, SALE OF THE ORANGE COUNTY FAIR GROUNDS (seriously – item 11),  Raymond Avenue grade separation, Fire Management Association agreement, Bastanchury/Valencia Mesa bike path.  There is too much for me to cover here so I’ll expand a little on just a few.

First, there for Redevelopment.  Item 6’s title should tell you everything you need to know… “Redevelopment Agency’s Annual Determination That Planning And Administrative Expenses Are Necessary For The Production, Improvement, or Preservation of Low and Moderate Income Housing”.  Yep that’s all you need to know so don’t look into it or question it.  I suggest that if you ever had a beef with Redevelopment, this is a chance for you to SCREAM at your elected officials.  This “determination” is the justification for wasting your money.  Because if that isn’t enough reason, read item 7, the Redevelopment Agency’s annual report.  This the RA’s justification for existence to the State and Feds.  If it doesn’t dazzle you with brilliance, rest assured, it will baffle you with bullshit!

Ok, enough with the Redevelopment Agency, let’s get down to real business.  According to item 8, it’s time to modify the signals at Orangethorpe and Highland, as well as re-stripe the area and add some signs.

Air pollution shows up 9th on the list.  It’s actually a MSRC grant for $450,000 for a compressed natural gas station.  I wonder how much money we will throw at it to get the gas station operational.  How much will we sell the gas for?  Are there enough customers to make it profitable or are we, the tax payers, suppose to subsidize CNG vehicle owners?  I’m sure the details are all there waiting to be found.

Don Hoppe gets an appointment as the Public Works Dispute Hearing Officer.  Will he get paid extra for the job?

And then we have the Fairgrounds.  It appears that the council would like to request the Governator to not sell the O.C. Fairgrounds.  I’m sure Arnold will read the letter and quickly cancel the whole sale.

The Raymond Avenue Grade Separation is getting a change order for AECOM.  Their fee is $2,450,000.  It is unclear from the agenda or staff recommendation just how much the change order will cost us, if anything.   According to the recommendation, there is $63,739,000 for the project.  That’s a lot of money!

Skipping ahead to the Public Hearings we have some more Redevelopment doozies.  The first one, item 15, is for 524 and 530 S. Richman Avenue where the Olson Company wants to erect 34 moderate income housing units.  I believe the Honorable DR. Jones said we “…absolutely have to build these. It’s the law!”  Well, sort of…not really.

Also, item 16 is the Five-Year Implementation Plan for Redevelopment Agency.  The item is on the agenda so that a request can be made to have a public hearing on it and consider adopting the plan.  What a racket!

Here is an interesting one.  Item 17 is an appeal to install a nature/wildlife habitat along a portion of the Juanita Cooke Greenbelt (known to many who are not as up to date on official trail names as “The Equestrian Trail Behind the Court House that goes to Laguna Lake”).  After looking at what they wanted to do and where, I’m not sure why the City didn’t take advantage of the situation.  Here are a couple who want to improve the trail where it runs along their backyard.  They wanted to make it wilder (I guess) on the slope NEXT TO the path.  The fix could have been to enter into an agreement whereby they can install certain pre-approved plants in a pre-approved manner, the total costs of which would be paid by the applicant.  The City could have the homeowners maintain it until such time as the agreement is cancelled in which case the homeowners could be on the hook for removal/restoration costs.  The cop out from Parks that the trail has two paths and this would confuse people is silly.  Are people really that stupid?  Also, from what I have seen, the encroachment would be onto the slope.  I don’t think the mountain bikers are on the slopes nor are the walkers or horses.  So what’s the problem?

The city will also be looking at parking permit fees in certain areas. (See item 18)

Moving on to Regular Business (I said this was a big package), we have a few reports on the City’s financials as well as the Airport.  Also in the Regular Business is the Commission/Committee At-Large Appointment Process.

I urge you to read through all of the supporting documents for the agenda.  That is where you might find some nuggets of truth that should be brought forth.  I simply don’t have enough hours in the day to do it.  Thanks for reading and feel free to point out other topics that I missed or are important to you!