The Few, the Proud, the Fringe: And The Fringie Goes to….

Worst Vote 2010. For sheer, wasteful incompetence you’ve really got to hand it to Chris Norby. The judges were horrified by the deed. Politicians get so few chances to do the right thing without fear of reprisal of some sort. And when confronted with the opportunity to tell Janet Nguyen to take her stupid memorial and shove it up her Midway City, Norby gave her a big, wet $350,000 kiss. Ugh.

You want a monument?

Best Image of 2010. Was there ever any doubt? The selection committee didn’t even pause for another bong rip. You knew, too, didn’t you. Here it is:

The assclownery was complete. The deal was done. The ink was dry.

Engaging Political Mailers. This one was tough and the committee labored long and hard. And by long and hard I mean, hello bankrupt Aaron Gregg; and good-bye to any chance of winning anything:

Well, there goes the campaign. Too many consonants in all the wrong places!

Best Campaign Sign. Another no-brainer for the selection committee who by now was totally fried. In a year of outstanding campaign sign outstandatude, one entry blew the others away. And you you knew it was coming, dintcha? Bad Chi. Bad, bad Chi!

Roland's cookie toss.

Wackiest Political Stooge of the Year. Yep, the dark horse took the bait and takes the brass ring. And by brass ring I mean a coveted Fringie. And by dark horse I mean the nominee originally set up just to round out the field. The humorless, brain-washed oddball 4sd Observer, re-emerged to remind us all of the hollow Sham that was Pam and the various cretins who actually bought into her scam and continue to defend it.

Is your weiner a Collabricorn?

Most Embarrassing Political Endorsement. Hopefully you caught on by the time you reached the end of the squalid list. And if u dint u r not 2 brite. All these miscreants, dingbats, and airheads endorsed the same bozo – Hairball Sidhu. And he in turn was only too eager to publicize their support. And that means they all deserved each other – a way down there at the bottom of the slimy well.

Well, there goes the wet dream!

Worst Political Candidate. Yes, Hairbag Sidhu is an inveterate office-seeking, perjuring assclown. Lorraine Galloway is a blithering idiot. But neither of them actually poisoned anybody. Neither had to give their DNA to the DA to dodge a stay at Theo Lacy; neither’s old man was busted, in flagrante delicto, stealing campaign signs. And so the winner must be obvious. It was to the committee. Cue Roland Chi theme song.

Spit and acquit. I did!

The Committee believed it would be remiss without recognizing special contributors to the North OC Scene, and so it deemed Special Fringies to be in order. here they are:

The 2010 Don’t Know Whether to Laugh or to Cry Special Fringie goes to this collection of crooks and scammers who seem to understand the bathos of the June 2010 election night situation. All except the buffoon in the middle, of course, who seems to find the whole thing humorous:

What went wrong?

The 2010 Do As I Say Not As I Do Special Fringie Hypocrisy Award goes to none other than Matthew J. Cunningham, who rails about big government and nanny states, as well as all the other repuglican moralistic bugaboos, but who actually makes his living, such as it is, on the government crumbs his ‘pug bosses brush off their table. In 2010 we busted this fine, upstanding “conservative” gentleman for being the publicist of the Rob Reiner tax-and-redistribute OC Children and Families Commission where he was making $200 an hour handing out toothbrushes, listening to the radio, having lunch with Steve Greenhut, writing op-ed pieces for Democrats, and even filing his obscene invoices in his garage (Suite C) file cabinet.

Suddenly all of his previous behavior made a lot more sense.

It really paid off. For a while.

Best New Phrase of Invective 2010. The judges weren’t even going to award this Special Fringie in 2010. And then just last week one of the Friends coined this sparkling gem: Fullertonions. Was it intentional? Was it just a typo? The judges didn’t give a damn. The term just seems so right to describe the dismal, vegetative state of an electorate that would elevate fellow vegetables Pat McPension and Don Blankhead. And onions make you cry.

Best Hope for Fullerton’s Future. This Special Fringie goes to Bruce Whitaker and Chris Thompson, two dudes who seem to get it. In two years you will have a chance to build on these 2010 success stories. Will you? Or will you let the onions have a free ride?

Well, Friends, them there’s your 2010 Fringies. It’s been one helluva a year for you Fullertonions down there, and all I can say is you got what you deserved. But what do I know? I’m just a deceased canine and just damn glad to be up here in Dog Heaven.

Quirk Screws Silva; La Plus Ca Change…

It happened. As predicted. At the behest of the repuglican puppetmasters that helped put him on the Fullerton City Council, ex-police Chief and $215,000 a year pension puller-downer Pat McKinley bypassed Democrat Sharon Quirk-Silva for Mayor Pro Tem. Instead Fullerton’s former top cop and election winner by 90 votes went with the feeble octogenarian, Don Bankhead. Gotta keep that winning team intact, right?

Well, goddamit, the ‘pugs weren’t the only people who helped put McKinley on the council. They had help. As noted previously, many of the the Yellowing Fullerton Observers went for McKinley, too, including folks like Molly McClanahan, Jan Flory and….wait for it…Sharon Quirk-Silva! It cost Doug Chaffee the election.

Two years ago these same people helped put the cracker back in the cracker barrel.

Say, guys, hows that strategy working out for ya?

Local Boy Gets Name in Paper

The son.

And not in a way you want it to appear.

In an article yesterday, the OC Register lit up Deputy DA Mike Flory for six instances of courtroom misbehavin’ between 2001 and 2005 – more than any other prosecutor in the entire state o’ Californy.

Flory? Why does that name sound familiar? Maybe because this guy is the offspring of former Fullerton Councilmember, Jan Flory.

A study emanating from Santa Clara Law School tracked 707 cases in which Courts of Appeal cited misconduct; then they laboriously tracked down the names.

Apparently the 4th District Court of Appeals in Santa Ana has not been happy with Mr. Flory’s behavior, including his apparent dislike of artists, philosophers, and “Hispanics.”

What has been going on since 2005 is anybody’s guess. We do know that Flory tried to get himself elected judge a couple years ago with disastrous results. As the article acidly notes:

Flory once aspired to be a Superior Court judge, but received criticism during his 2008 run for a judicial seat. Presidents of both the Orange County deputy sheriff’s union and the Los Angeles County Professional Peace Officers Association accused Flory of lying in an attempt to secure their endorsement. The Orange County Bar Association rated Flory as “not qualified” to be a judge.

Yikers!

And to cap it off the Assistant DA. Bill Feccia (which I am told is Italian for bullshit) claims the study is somehow biased. Well, let’s have Bill’s own words take us home:

“Mistakes are sometimes made in the heat of battle, and sometimes tempers get frayed,” he added. “But this is the finest class of people you’ll find anywhere.”


What Are They Doing Now?

No. You can't dig your way out.

So who really is responsible for Fullerton’s out-of-control “public safety” pension vortex?

Here’s a handy list of everyone in the history of Fullerton who’s ever voted for the public safety  3 @ 50 pension scam, and their current whereabouts:

Yay! Red jello!

Don Bankhead (R) – Fullerton City Councilmember, and Mayor.

Why not 4 @45? That's prit' near a hunnerd percent!

Dick Jones (R) – Fullerton City Councilmember.

No, I don't mind dressing up like a goddam idiot...

Chris Norby (R) – State Assemblyman, 72nd District

The bathroom is over there, behind the wig shop.

Mike Clesceri (R) – is rumored to be working security at suburban Chicago mall.

Can I vote now? I'm ready!

Jan Flory (D) – tries to remain relevant by stirring up neighborhood resentment against kids riding bikes.

And there you have it. A 5-0 vote. Motion made by Flory and seconded by Norby, to go along with the most irresponsible vote in the history of Fullerton.

Did Fullerton’s Yellowing Observers Cost Doug Chaffee the Election?

The fourth drink made me do it!

Well, technically it’s not over yet. But the trend since election day is going the wrong way for Doug Chaffee. In second place on election day and looking good for the second council opening, Chaffee has seen his slim lead shrink and then disappear in the ensuing days.

Which leads me to reflect upon Fullerton’s liberal clique, and the choices it makes. You will recall that in 2008 the Fullerton Observer endorsed the egregious Doc Heehaw, who came in ahead of dyed-in-the-wool liberal, Karen Haluza. Sure, you you remember. We wrote about it, here.

And this year? We posted a piece about how ex-Police Chief and astronomical pension-puller-downer Pat McKinley was getting support from some of Fullerton’s most prominent lefties, most notably Jan Flory and Molly McClanahan.

I'm a trustee. You can always trust me.

I visited the Fullerton Observer website and noticed that according to to its editor, second place support by the herd of Yellowing Observers was split between McKinley and Jesse la Tour! Could support for the hand-picked boy of Ed Royce and Dick Ackerman, a career cop, really have been that high among the hardest core Observers? Is Ralph Kennedy rolling over in his urn?

Of course Sharon Kennedy will blame out-of-town money used to hit Chaffee. But how many of Fullerton left-leaning tribe are starting to regret their second vote?

FFFF = Best Blog in OC

Look no farther...

Okay, this isn’t really news anymore, but what the Hell.

In its annual “Best Of OC” edition, the magisterial and terribly proper OC Weekly named us as Best Blog 2010. Or something like that. You can read about it here, and then shower us with praise; or heap abuse upon us – as many of our FPOA and Sidhu campaign worker readers are won’t to do.

Yes, we are referred to as juvenile name callers. Guilty as charged. But boring? No, that title belongs to the tiresome party-run running dog blogs that have nothing to say except what their uber-bosses tell them is kosher.

Out here on the Fringe the air is rarefied, and sometimes we get a little dizzy. But we ever soldier on, bringing you the Truth. As we see it, anyway.

It Gets Worse

As a change of pace and for those who live in that portion of Fullerton that is included in the 47th Congressional District, I present ruminations on the pathetic choice presented to you in the 2010 election.

The 007 Motel is right up Anaheim Boulevard!

First, let us speak about the unspeakably stupid, insipid, and yes, truly trashy Loretta Sanchez, the Democrat, who from her home in Palos Verdes has been our representative in Congress for 14 years. Her lame squeaking about things she evidently knows nothing about remind you of the proverbial fingernails on the chalkboard. Her suggestive Christmas cards used to inspire salacious merriment but even those are now useless.

Sanchez has accomplished absolutely nothing in Congress in all those years, and the only saving grace I can think of is that nobody ever expected her to.

Whatever is coming out of his mouth isn't the truth...

On the other side of the aisle we behold the pustulific image of Van Tran, one-time refugee who has taken to the seamier side of American politics like a duck to water. Apart from building a political machine of dubious probity, he has also gouged the taxpayers for an unnecessary housing per diem, as a member of the State Legislature, and his wife was convicted of insurance fraud. And if all that wasn’t bad enough, he was the Dr. Frankenstein that helped created a hideous creature that takes delight in pulling the wings off insects.

It's fun, try it!

Well, what are ya gonna do? You have to vote for somebody. Or not. Some woman named Cecilia Iglesias (related to Julio?) is running as an independent and the deviant hacks over at the unintentionally comical Blue County blog thinks she’s just a troll whose job it is to draw votes away from Sanchez. And you know, that sort of makes me want to do it.

A fire hydrant on every corner and new uniforms for the mail carriers!

But instead, I recommend a write-in vote. For whom, you ask? Jan Flory’s Dog, that’s who. It’s true that I don’t live in the District; but you could do worse than electing a dead dog to Congress. A lot worse.

Fullerton Is Doomed!

Out here on Screech Owl Road, east of Twentynine Palms you can see things pretty clearly. Sometimes the heat causes shimmer mirages; sometimes the wind kicks up some devilish sand storms – the kind that can strip the chrome off your Hummer. But most of the time you get used to seeing a long way. Even as far away as my former home, Fullerton.

Pudding cups!
Banacek called. He wants his clothes back.

The City Council race of 2010 is already over. You will re-elect the brain dead sea cucumber known as Don Bankhead – pension spiker, staff stooge, abysmal decision maker. And you will also elect Pat McKinley – poster boy for pension abuse, supporter of the hideous Ackerwoman, repuglican de-jour, and yet another retired cop. And it won’t even be close.

Bankhead, Dick Jones, McKinley; please contemplate that triumverate of septuagenarian, lint-headed, RINO back washers and tell me why you aren’t in deep shit. Can anyone say gerontocracy?

In the two-year seat Bruce Whitaker has a chance, but let’s face it: he’s up against a bankrupt and a carpetbagging food poisoner. Really, I don’t see how he can pull it off.

Aw, none of those folks died...

Fullerton, the Education Community, has a special knack for electing the weak, the feeble-minded, the incomprehensible. Jeez, do I have to draw you a diagram? Molly McClanahan, Buck Catlin, Julie Sa, Peter Godfrey, HeeHaw Jones, Mike Clesceri, Leland Wilson, Pam Keller. This rougues gallery of incompetence even starts to make Jan Flory look good. Well, no, cancel that.

Yes, I believe you are doomed.

The Dingos Took My Baby!

And now, because you deserve it, we present another slow, mental unwinding by everybody’s Southern fried favorite, F. Richard Jones. Here he holds forth on the subject of coyote miscegenation, apparently an area of special expertise. Of course I couldn’t imagine mating with a wolf, at least not without a step ladder.

Remember Friends: when the coyotes attack your home, be sure to obey their commands and avoid eye contact!

One Thousand Posts Later…

Slow down, I only have twenty toes...

Well, Friends, this is our 1000th blog post.

Those thousand posts have taken us from the ridiculous to the sublime; from the arid steppes of Kharakhastan to the steaming jungles of Tanzanisha; into the squalid precincts of the Poisoned Park; through a sad litany of humiliating Redevelopment failures.

Friends around the world have darkened our blogstep, including irrepressible Barney Wewak, the Papuan Highlands tribal headman and 1974 Troy High School exchange student.

We have exposed the unintentional corn pone comedy of our beloved Doc HeeHaw; we have chronicled the heavenly observations of Jan Flory’s deceased canine (me). We have skewered repuglican miscreants and Democrat boohoo spendthrifts. We have awarded coveted Fringie Awards© to the deserving among us.

We have shared the serial nonsense of the Yellowing Submariners at the decrepit and irrelevant Fullerton Observer. We noted the vacuousness of the local mainstream media.

We have blasted unscrupulous carpetbaggers – from the revolting Linda Ackerwoman to the comical Lorri Galloway and the even more comical #2 – Hide and Seek Harry Sidhu whose phony residence at the now infamous Calabria Apartments must rank as the stoopidest stunt ever pulled by an OC politician.

As the Fullerton Redevelopment bureaucrats like to say: much has been accomplished, yet much remains to be done. With the perpetual misbehavin’ and idiocies of our electeds to provide us constant inspiration, we seemingly will always have job security!