Former Fullerton Councilman Doc Jones Dead

Yes, apparently, former Fullerton City Councilman, Dr. F. Richard “Dick” Jones has gone to his reward. He was 90, or thereabouts.

I am ambivalent about his passing. His record as a public representative was appallingly bad. And yet, doggone it, I miss him. Every other Tuesday we could look forward to some crazy and limitlessly entertaining outburst.

Indeed, it would be remiss of this blog not to acknowledge Mr. Jones and his place in Fullerton lore. This is especially true since it was Jones whose re-election campaign in 2008 was the impetus that created this very blog. Many people in Fullerton believed that 12 years of Jones was more than enough, and FFFF was created as a response to his record on the City Council dais.

Jones was re-elected, of course, and a good thing, too – for over the subsequent years and months the blog was able to treat Fullertonions to wonderful examples his special wit and wisdom. It’s true that the first 12 years of Dick’s political career went largely underappreciated, and included a lot of bad stuff – his support of retroactive pensions spikes, the illegal water tax and the constant shilling for dumbass Redevelopment were largely forgotten – but the FFFF spotlight of the next 4 made up for it.

Between 2008 and 2012 – when Jones was finally and justly recalled from office – he gave us a wealth of comedic material that displayed the various facets of the man: vindictive bully, philistine, loudmouth, hypocrite, bloviator supreme and ignoramus – all delivered with an especially thick, southern-fried coating. Jeez, we traversed the years together sharing fun Jonesian vignettes.

Who can forget him lamenting the monster he created in Downtown Fullerton, the “New West” even as he continued to feed it? His fixation on babies in bathwater became the stuff of legends. He introduced new names for the patrons of DTF – Drunken Others and Last Week’s Felons, even as he saddled the taxpayers of Fullerton with the bill to clean up the mess he admitted creating.

Sit down and grab some sidewalk, brother…

His sideways reference to the sidewalk stealing Florentine Mob came out as an encomium to the Italian “roots” mafia that ran his hometown of Galveston “very well,” to the chagrin of the Feds who couldn’t figure out how to traverse that consarned two-mile long bridge.

Let’s not forget the night Jones took umbrage that an award-winning architect had come to town to propose good, modern residential architecture. Nuh uh! Mr. Arkyteck? He might like Salvador Dali, but none of that fizzjickle would be in Jonesy’s living room and none of these pointy-headed modern buildings would be in “his” city, brayed the Good Doctor.

When it came to legalized marijuana – as approved by the people of California, Dr. Jones would have none of it. He was out to “right a wrong,” goldarnit! And somebody gotta stop little kids from eatin’ manure, too! And he introduced us to the wonders of heroin products and oxytoxin!

Dick was open-minded in his abomination of the different and novel, and tattoo parlors and piercing shops fell under his censorious gaze. “Pins and needles and daggers,” he asserted were a health menace to the town, and dagnabit, he remembered the old days when third degree “syphilitic” sailors infested Galveston’s lively red light district.

When the sore subject of Fullerton’s illegal water tax rates again floated to the surface, Jones was right there to draw baffling comparison with Hitler’s reoccupying the the Rhineland in 1936. Nobody knew what in tarnation he was going on about, but all the toadies in City Hall nodded, sagely.

We shared the time that Jones got even with former Congressman Bill Dannemeyer, displaying a petulance appropriate for a five-year old. That diatribe flowered into one of his trade-mark mangles – a nation called Kharakhastan, giving birth the a blog post and even a Wikipedia page dedicated to the imaginary country.

But finally, in 2011, the mismanagement of Fullerton began to catch up to those who were responsible. When a mentally sick homeless man was horrifically murdered by Fullerton cops, Jones had no way of wrapping his personality around the realities. His lack of accountability was matched only by his lack of empathy in the aftermath of the Kelly Thomas killing. His natural instinct to defend Authority and join the clown show inside the circled wagons came to the fore as he nailed his colors to the Fullerton Police Department mast.

Well, why belabor this? In June 2012 Dr. F. Richard “Dick” Jones was recalled from office, along with his pals Don Bankhead and Pat McKinley. The recall election wasn’t even close.

I don’t know what Mr. Jones has been doing with himself the past 11 years, but I doubt if it included a lot of self-reflection. Dick just wasn’t built that way.

24 Replies to “Former Fullerton Councilman Doc Jones Dead”

  1. Damn he was funny. And completely taken in by his own sense of self-worth. He was a rude, blustering, jackass, but Lord it was fun to watch him wind himself up.

  2. The man was responsible for so much of Fullerton’s problems. As he pointed out downtown Fullerton was his baby – brought forth by him like a happy, newly married couple.

  3. “a mentally sick homeless man was horrifically murdered by Fullerton cops” and nobody spent any time in prison for their crime. The FPPD is still intimidating, beating and silencing innocent people to this very day. Nothing has change but Ding! Dong! the Dick is Dead!

  4. Thank you, Joe, for a very complete and thoughtful eulogy, there is much there to reflect upon and ponder. Incidentally, I think I understand “dagnabit” but “fizzjickle” I’ll have to further research…

  5. The end of the end of an era. He made us laugh, usually without meaning to do so, he made us cry out in frustration over his fidelity to institutional intransigence and insider influence, he bored the bejeezus out of us with aimless observations and unrelated personal reminiscences about everything from diseases in the tropics to how his remote hometown in Texas was governed. Yosemite Sam with a medical degree, a pioneer in the burgeoning field of doctors who aren’t very good at public office, he leaves a big empty hat to fill.

  6. “I was a flight surgeon in Vietnam and saw far worse cases that were suh-vive-ah-bul. I don’t know why that man died.”

  7. Thanks for the memories Joe. And thank you to all the FFFF’ers for those years of not just hilarious commentary but also for providing a platform to anyone who had something to say good or bad. FFFF is unique in that it never required commenters to use their “real names” . FFFF never outed anyone for commenting but still left room to speculate and criticize others. By not having to worry about retribution or castigation, extremely serious, seditious dialogue took place without the obsequious kowtowing or threats of retribution that rules all other community news sources. Nobody was ever “Cancelled” like happens in the oversensitive world in which we live today.

    1. FFFF let’s the public breathe and gives respite from the constraints of “civil society”.

  8. As FFFF pointed out it was a shame that such a raving fool could have been elected, let alone re-elected three times. It says a lot about Fullerton voters.

    Of course so does the presence of Shana Alexander and Ahmad Zarha. Ha.

  9. Honestly, when Doc Hee Haw was on the Fullerton council, watching those meetings was more entertaining than watching anything else on TV.

    Every single time he spoke about whatever the fuck was on the agenda, was either comical or off topic. But I have to admit that he was a classic character and I miss his antics.

  10. On another note, very pleased to see FFFF is alive and well. We’ve missed you.
    Now let’s roast those morons Shana and Achmad!

  11. Just read an obit in the Rag. Must have been submitted by the family because there is no mention of him being recalled from office for his seriqal dadgummery and consarnation.

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