The Fullerton new year brings with it a strange atavistic political regime: an elderly, under-informed, pro-staff, pro-Redevelopment, pro big government RINO majority. It sort of reminds me of the Ackerman-LeQuire-Catlin axis of ignorance that held sway in Fullerton in the 1980s. Things only got worse when Don Bankhead added his own special brand of undernourished intelligence to the equation in 1988.
So what does the new year portend? One thing to look for is the return to the old method of selection of city commissioners by committee – a committee made up of retired public employees who have the time and desire to weed out the intelligent, the skeptical, the individualistic sorts who might actually make a city commission do something besides rubber stamp whatever nonsense were being peddled by staff.
In recent years the process has been made much more accountable by having personal recommendations made by council members. And folks like Keller and Quirk-Silva who in the old days would never be able make important appointments finally had some real influence in the municipal sausage factory.
Of course this sort of accountability is anathema to the old-timers who understand the value of Fullertonion group-think, fear informed opinion, promote government “stability” and who above all else want responsibility as diffuse and elusive as possible, so that when the inevitable “mistakes were made” mantra is chanted it will be as hard as possible to assign a name to the screw-up.
Will the dinosaurs work hard to keep Bruce Whitaker and Sharon Quirk-Silva from making key appointments? Just wait and see. And just wait for the Jan Flory good-government types to come out of the woodwork to promote the Old Boy Network.
Worst Vote 2010. For sheer, wasteful incompetence you’ve really got to hand it to Chris Norby. The judges were horrified by the deed. Politicians get so few chances to do the right thing without fear of reprisal of some sort. And when confronted with the opportunity to tell Janet Nguyen to take her stupid memorial and shove it up her Midway City, Norby gave her a big, wet $350,000 kiss. Ugh.
You want a monument?
Best Image of 2010. Was there ever any doubt? The selection committee didn’t even pause for another bong rip. You knew, too, didn’t you. Here it is:
The assclownery was complete. The deal was done. The ink was dry.
Engaging Political Mailers. This one was tough and the committee labored long and hard. And by long and hard I mean, hello bankrupt Aaron Gregg; and good-bye to any chance of winning anything:
Well, there goes the campaign. Too many consonants in all the wrong places!
Best Campaign Sign. Another no-brainer for the selection committee who by now was totally fried. In a year of outstanding campaign sign outstandatude, one entry blew the others away. And you you knew it was coming, dintcha? Bad Chi. Bad, bad Chi!
Roland's cookie toss.
Wackiest Political Stooge of the Year. Yep, the dark horse took the bait and takes the brass ring. And by brass ring I mean a coveted Fringie. And by dark horse I mean the nominee originally set up just to round out the field. The humorless, brain-washed oddball 4sd Observer, re-emerged to remind us all of the hollow Sham that was Pam and the various cretins who actually bought into her scam and continue to defend it.
Is your weiner a Collabricorn?
Most Embarrassing Political Endorsement. Hopefully you caught on by the time you reached the end of the squalid list. And if u dint u r not 2 brite. All these miscreants, dingbats, and airheads endorsed the same bozo – Hairball Sidhu. And he in turn was only too eager to publicize their support. And that means they all deserved each other – a way down there at the bottom of the slimy well.
Well, there goes the wet dream!
Worst Political Candidate. Yes, Hairbag Sidhu is an inveterate office-seeking, perjuring assclown. Lorraine Galloway is a blithering idiot. But neither of them actually poisoned anybody. Neither had to give their DNA to the DA to dodge a stay at Theo Lacy; neither’s old man was busted, in flagrante delicto, stealing campaign signs. And so the winner must be obvious. It was to the committee. Cue Roland Chi theme song.
Spit and acquit. I did!
The Committee believed it would be remiss without recognizing special contributors to the North OC Scene, and so it deemed Special Fringies to be in order. here they are:
The 2010 Don’t Know Whether to Laugh or to Cry Special Fringie goes to this collection of crooks and scammers who seem to understand the bathos of the June 2010 election night situation. All except the buffoon in the middle, of course, who seems to find the whole thing humorous:
What went wrong?
The 2010 Do As I Say Not As I Do Special Fringie Hypocrisy Award goes to none other than Matthew J. Cunningham, who rails about big government and nanny states, as well as all the other repuglican moralistic bugaboos, but who actually makes his living, such as it is, on the government crumbs his ‘pug bosses brush off their table. In 2010 we busted this fine, upstanding “conservative” gentleman for being the publicist of the Rob Reiner tax-and-redistribute OC Children and Families Commission where he was making $200 an hour handing out toothbrushes, listening to the radio, having lunch with Steve Greenhut, writing op-ed pieces for Democrats, and even filing his obscene invoices in his garage (Suite C) file cabinet.
Suddenly all of his previous behavior made a lot more sense.
It really paid off. For a while.
Best New Phrase of Invective 2010. The judges weren’t even going to award this Special Fringie in 2010. And then just last week one of the Friends coined this sparkling gem: Fullertonions. Was it intentional? Was it just a typo? The judges didn’t give a damn. The term just seems so right to describe the dismal, vegetative state of an electorate that would elevate fellow vegetables Pat McPension and Don Blankhead. And onions make you cry.
Best Hope for Fullerton’s Future. This Special Fringie goes to Bruce Whitaker and Chris Thompson, two dudes who seem to get it. In two years you will have a chance to build on these 2010 success stories. Will you? Or will you let the onions have a free ride?
Well, Friends, them there’s your 2010 Fringies. It’s been one helluva a year for you Fullertonions down there, and all I can say is you got what you deserved. But what do I know? I’m just a deceased canine and just damn glad to be up here in Dog Heaven.
Inflamed, chartreuse mind-bubbling Jebus! The worst vote. Think of the horrible depths one has to plumb with one’s thumb to pull out this choice plum.
Here are your 2010 nominees:
A bad one for the road.
1. The Monument. On his way out the door, departing 4th District Supervisor Chris Norby paused long enough to cast a vote of approval for Janet Nguyen’s idiotic bequest of County slush funds to build some sort of Vietnam commemorative something in a Midway City pocket park. The price tag was $350,000, to be doled out to some sort of performing arts troupe. So when Norby finally got the chance to cast a freebie vote not to waste money, what does he do? He votes to waste it, big time.
It was big enough, but would it get off the ground?
2. The Megalopolis. The latest Downtown master plan (there’s a new one every five years just to keep the Redevelopment clowns busy) is a monstrously overbuilt plan that would essentially wipe out any lingering essence of authenticity in the place. Who voted to move this forward? The usual cast of zombies: Pam Keller, Don Bankhead and Heehaw Jones.
Man's gotta know his limitations...
3. The Coward. Newly sworn in ex-tough guy cop Pat McPension gets a nod here for what was only his second vote in office: to stick it to Sharon Quirk-Silva and vote for the geriatric pudding aficionado Don Blankhead as Mayor Pro Tem. Not only did he hand a giant F-U to a person whose endorsement helped get him elected, he showed his true mettle vis-a-vis the repuglican old guard, and stern stuff it was not. Poor McPension. He knows he can’t serve two masters, and he has made his choice. Too bad for the public.
4. Special Friend’s Choice. Feel free to nominate your favorite bad vote 2010, either in Fullerton or at the County. All offerings will be duly noted for Fringie consideration by the nominating committee!
Update 2: Colony Drivell is right. And so another Top Secret session of the nominating committee has been convened to authorize a post-post entry. See last, last image.
– JFD
Update: Savage is right. And so a Top Secret session of the Nomination Committee has been convened to authorize a post-post entry. See last image.
– JFD
Scanning backwards over the year the nominating judges have considered these pictures Fringie-worthy. I hope you agree.
When the money ran out, the laughing stopped.
1. The Assclown. What could possibly be better than this image of an ass and a clown co-joined for eternity. This picture of Hairball Sidhu shows the transmogrification of an ass into a clown. And now it belongs to the ages.
Don't you just hate it when a nail breaks while boxing canned goods for the po'?
2. The Limousine Liberals. This was a perfect of top-down do-gooderism photo op: Loretta Sanchez and Lorraine Galloway slummin’ it up in what appears to be some sort of food drive. Enjoy the couture, the pearls and the expensive manicures. Who knew operating a charity paid so well?
Take two aspirin and call the brain surgeon in the morning.
3. The Head Injury. Proprietor of the Liberal OC blog (channeling the right-wing noise machine” as one wag puts it) Chris Prevatt excelled himself this past year for doing what he does best – lookin’ creepy. And we had a little fun with that.
This was no time for play, there was work to be done!
4. Keller in the Hat. Poor Pam. Gone but not quite forgotten. This woman really likes to put on stupid hats and mug for the camera. And why not? Looking stupid is a perfect accompaniment to acting and talking stupid.
Rack 'em up, Hairball!
5. The Fake Abode #1. The beautiful Calabria Apartments beckoned to Hairbag Sidhu. A refrigerator was moved in, but not Sidhu. He registered to vote there, but never actually lived there. The pink stucco box behind the billiards sign was a perfect reflection of the greasy Sidhu hustle – cheap, fake, and ultimately comical.
Somebody call the Humane Society!
6. Poor Bella. Somebody should have called the SPCA. Any creature, human or otherwise that is subjected to the vapid stupidity of Lorraine Galloway, the 58 year old teenybopper, has been abused. Arf!
Small furry creatures were stirring underfoot. And it was getting cold.
7. Jurassic Park. This image of Fullerton’s ossified Mayor Pro Tem surfaced this year. No, Bankhead is the one wearing the necktie. The delicious irony of this picture is undeniable. And the site? Why, it’s at Hairbag Sidhu’s Elegant Yorba Estate, of course, far from the lowly 4th District he wanted to represent so badly.
Hold on tight...
8. The Cheap Cologne. Hide and Seek Sidhu met Pam Keller at the big Democrat Labor Day fest at the Santa Ana Zoo. It was love at first sight, a real meeting of the shallow and superficial. And proof that the best exhibits weren’t behind the bars.
In a year full of idiotic boondoggles, the nominating committee had a real challenge coming up with the best, or worst, depending on your point of view. The committee considered size, because it matters, but also pure, unfiltered nonsense, too.
I do not have a shoe fetish!
1. The Hall of Shame. County Clerk-Recorder paid a campaign supporter named Brett Barbre $48,000 to “study” an OC Sports Hall of Fame. Forget the fact that this has nothing to do with Daly’s job, or that Barbre was nothing other than a cash conduit. Just remember that the guy didn’t do anything. As Daly succinctly put it: Barbre was paid for ideas not long reports, and of course Daly got neither. Too bad it was our money. Oh, yeah -the media snoozed.
Maybe that copper is worth something...
2. The Money Pit. Chalk up another one for Tom Daly. He talked the County Supervisors into sinking $2.1 million into a tear-down derelict building in Santa Ana to house his archives and his defunct Sports Hall of Fame (see above). The Board was lied to and crucial information about the true cost of making the building habitable was withheld. To this day collective amnesia reigns, especially with John Moorlach who ordered an investigation and later went along with the cover-up. Yep, the media snoozed.
We had to destroy the village in order to save it...
3. The Megalopolis. Yet another plan for downtown Fullerton, Der Transporation Center Meisterplan anticipates the final destruction of any remaining authenticity in Fullerton and its replacement with every master planner’s wet-dream. Albert Speer would be proud. Fortunately it will never come to fruition. But millions will be wasted and lots of damage done trying. Be sure to thank Bankhead, Jones and Keller next time you see them.
Mistakes were made...
4. Pringle’s Folly. High Speed Rail – LA to Anaheim. Not needed and not wanted except by Anaheim’s ex-Mayor-for-Hire and recent tongue bath recipient Kurt Pringle; Pringle was recently busted by the Attorney General for holding incompatible offices, and Jerry B. now knows what Orange County has known all along: Pringle is in it for Pringle. Big Time. FFFF has shared the record of foreign junkets, cover-ups, faked ridership numbers, etc., etc. I don’t even have the energy to do the links. I get tired just thinking about it.
The damage done by this monster to the fabric of the cities it would pass through and to the public purse is incalculable. But hey, Kurt’s gotta pay his bills, too, right?
Well there you have it, Friends. Four embarrassing boondoggles of varying shapes and sizes. Who will the selection committee go with? Stay tuned…
Another Big Fringie Award. Most Engaging Political Flier. It’s a sad fact that most positive, puff political pieces are mind numbingly boring and or stupid. They are almost uniformly awful. Maybe it’s just human nature (I don’t know I’m just a dead dog), but the hit pieces are always a lot more fun. And the more your attention gets grabbed, the better they are.
So here’s your nominees:
1. The Food Poisoner. ‘Tamnation, this ones right in yer face. Banner header, gross pictures of code violations, international barfer, nice, clean Helvetica text for the “informed voter,” concluding banner footer. Message loud and clear: this pustule is a scum suck!
2. The Mug Shot. Nothing says municipal rip-off artist like a side-by-side with City of Bell crook Robert Rizzo. What makes this more fun is that the hard-stool-passing tough guy look by Fullerton’s Pat McPension was actually harvested from one of his own puff pieces!
3. The Hot Air Balloon. from last spring comes this gem, an image of a giant Sidhu head floating over a nearly dwarfed map of OC, brilliantly symbolizing a massive ego and the throw-weight of a lighter than air balloon. Well done!
3. The Bankrupt. More brilliant graphic design. There’s lotsa information here but it draws you in and tells you all you need to know about a first class sumbitch. A wonderful quote from a victim seals the deal. And the images are classic.
4. The Evil Hippy Elder Abuser. This one is actually pretty lame. The title alone hints that something stupid is on the way. But the nominating committee was captivated by the image of a dude who seems to be wearing beads!
Oh, Ye Cruel Amethyst Plasticine Gods above! In a year full of wacky political campaigns this category just screams out “potential!”
Now, the Nominating Committee wasn’t interested in the typical collection of paid-to-blog courtesans that whore themselves as part of their quotidian life’s work: creeps like Dan Chomolungma and Matthew J. Cunningham. Oh, no no no!
This category embraces the brief shooting stars who, in their trajectories across the local political firmament, burn with an incandescent glow before vanishing into the irrelevance of lifelong mundane hackery. And by burn with an incandescent glow, I mean make utter jackasses out of themselves shamelessly bending over for cretinous political bosses. Here we find political ambition, lack of character, stupidity, and brainless tenacity sticking with people or ideals that weren’t worth sticking up for.
Motivation is not the sole factor in the category; comic spectacle is what we’re after, too.
And your nominees are:
Hey, nice shirt!
1. Thomas Anthony Gordon. This econo-size chowderhead popped up on a local blog attacking Shawn Nelson for being a defense lawyer and therefore soft on crime. Which was funny because Gordo had had his own brushes with the law!
Will work for food.
Since this goon lives in Santa Ana it wasn’t hard to surmise that he was working for somebody who had an interest in the 4th District campaign. At first we thought he was working for John Lewis and the Tom Daly Team. Well, maybe he was. But then he appeared as a petition circulator for Hairball Sidhu and we then knew whose payroll he was on.
Gordon even played victim card wackily claiming to have been intimidated by us for outing his tooling for Sidhu.
After we busted him for making anonymous comments on our blog he mercifully vanished from our radar screen.
A little man in a little crowd.
2. Little Billy Turner. ‘Lil Billy popped up last February at a Fullerton Tea Party event passing out fliers for Hairbag Sidhu. Unfortunately he ran into Chris Thompson to whom he admitted that Sidhu was going to lose and noted that he had tried to get in touch with Shawn Nelson. Not knowing that his attempted double-cross in search of a winning candidate would end up as blog fodder he passed along his name and address to Thompson.
Later, we were told that Little Billy had been ensconced in Sidhu Fake Address #2 so that it would appear lived in. And we were informed that Little Billy had also turned into a sign thief. That sure seems in character.
It didn’t seem to have occurred to Little Billy that getting an honest job in one of Sidhu’s Pollo Locos would be more honorable than working for such a creep’s bogus scampaigns; but then given his own propensity for double-dealing, maybe part-time jobs in politics is the only kind of work he will ever have, or ever want. There will always be ‘pugs looking for cheap labor so Billy may find employment once every couple of years.
Oh, well. If working for Sidhu doesn’t scare you straight, nothing can.
Find 4SD Observer. Then look for Waldo.
3. 4SD Observer. This sad Grendel-like creature emerged in 2010 to defend the indefensible – the serial miscreance of Pam Keller. 4SD withstood a systematic dismembering from the regs, continually coming back for more. There was no hypocritical, stupid, lying, featherheaded thing that her Pam could say or do that could cause this devoted acolyte to cease soldiering on.
Hilariously, the series of quotations from The Manchurian Candidate by some of our Friends went zipping right over his/her head, every time. An irrational love for budget-busting public safety union members, hatred for Supervisor Shawn Nelson and a weird fixation on cooking harmless bunny rabbits sealed the deal.
In short, 4SD Observer was the quintessential intellectual face of the Keller years: sanctimonious, humorless, and confused; but mostly just brainwashed.
Well, that didn’t take long. In office as Mayor for a few scant days, Doc Jones issued his first diktat: a new sister city for Fullerton to join the ranks of Fukui and Morelia and Yongin.
The Sister City Welcoming Committee
The new destination for Fullerton international gladhanders is none other than Pilgur, principal metropolis of Kharakhastan. Of course Friends will recall that Jones’s ties to Kharakhastan run deep, and remember his reference in a diatribe against a former Congressman:
When reached for comment on his unusual decision, Jones minced no words: “As a Airman Basic in the Air Force I oncet had to bail out over that place. And man, I’m telling ya, them gals was friendly! ‘Sides I ain’t partial to no squids and raw tuna ‘n suchlike, ‘n that cabbage slaw done give me some baaaad gas.”
And so for those of you who believed that Good Ol’ Boy Jones was jes’ gonna run out the clock, well, Hell y’all can guess again.
An apt symbol of the completely futile and humiliating 4th District supervisorial campaign of Hide and Seek Harry Sidhu, perjurer, carpetbagger, and assclown.
Sidhu started out 2010 by lying on two voter registration forms about his completely phony “residency” at the Calabria, a crappy stucco box owned by a buddy on Lincoln Avenue, in West Anaheim. We blew the whistle on that fraud.
We never even saw him...
Later we were treated to the spectacle of Hairball pretending to move into a second 4th District crib – in a marginal neighborhood across the street from Garden Grove.
Sidhu then decided that his new abode virtually required him to run for the GOP Central Committee for the 69th Assembly District – yet another district in which he didn’t live. He stashed a campaign worker into fake residence #2 to make it look legit.
The Boss filed a complaint with OC’s top cop. The DA turned a blind eye, claiming that for all he knew Sidhu meant to live there until he changed his mind, a lie made evident by Sidhu’s registration BEFORE HE EVER MOVED SO MUCH AS A FUTON INTO THE PLACE.
There was plenty of Sidhu methane to go around.
Oh how the ‘pugs tried to confuse the issue! Matthew J. Cunningham claimed the purported length of tenure was too short to matter and immediately changed the subject.
Will work for flame-broiled chicken...
Meanwhile, Sidhu assembled a veritable rogues gallery of supporters who thought they could get something out of a Sidhu victory. Other ‘pug hangers on were hired by Sidhu’s squad to attack Nelson. We had a lot of fun with one in particular, some cretin from Santa Ana named Thomas Gordon.
And Sidhu was a long way from being finished. Act II was on the way.
Let me entertain you...
Sidhu’s numerous and manifest assclowneries culminated in a performance at the GOP nominating meeting that was so jaw-droppingly pathetic that some folks were actually looking around for a humane dose of sodium pentobarbital.
The unions poured over a million bucks of their members’ dues to get Sidhu in office, but the effort was a tough sell. No matter how hard somebody tries to sell you a vehicle, sometimes you figure it’s better just to get out and walk.
The 2010 Sidhu. Take it for a spin?
The June Primary rolled around and the inevitable occurred: Fullerton’s Shawn Nelson just about cleared the field. The only thing left standing was a pathetic, grinning buffoon who was too stupid to realize he had drawn the ultimate booby prize: a runoff election in November against Nelson. And the folks who actually lived in the 69th Assembly District humiliated Sidhu by asskicking the assclown into last place in the Central Committee election.
You bet how much on that horse!?
Sidhu was mercifully quiet for a couple of months. Then his new campaign manager, Chris Jones, a tool of the worst OC repuglicans tried to salvage Curt Pringle’s and John Lewises rotten investment.
Well two jobs were lost - Sidhu's and his campaign manager's!
It didn’t work. How could it? Another drubbing. Chris Jones said it was because they just didn’t have enough money. Right. A bozo who keeps peacocks and dinosaurs on his “elegant estate” couldn’t cough up the dough. Didn’t Sidhu say that money was no object back in June? No, the real problem was the product. Unsaleable at any price.
The final numbers aren’t in, but the results are crystal clear: Shawn Nelson 63%, Hairbag Sidhu 37%. A twenty-six point break. And a wonderful public service was rendered by Nelson that is so valuable we can’t put a price on it – sending Sidhu to the electoral showers.
Nope. No assclowns in our town.
Will Sidhu be back? A pathetic egomaniac like this is hard to get rid of. But one thing we can guarantee: he will never bother the Fourth District again.
We just received the following notice from Friends for a Livable Fullerton:
The Fullerton Transportation Center “Specific Plan” is an approximately 40 acre project at the southeast corner of Harbor and Commonwealth. Built over the next few decades, it will take up over 6 full city blocks at one of our prime city intersections and will have a huge effect on our historic downtown and on alternative transportation for years to come. Maximum buildout would be about 2 dozen (!) 3- to 9-story buildings:
1,560 multi-family residential units
100,000 square feet of retail
100,000 sf office space
120-room, 120,000 sf hotel
Note the density and scale compared to the surrounding area:
While the plan doesn’t yet have specific building designs, the approval of this Plan and its 2,290 EIR will allow it to proceed.
City Admits Many Unavoidable Impacts
An unusual aspect of this plan is the large number of City–admitted significant environmental impacts the City Council will be called upon to “override” due to the project benefits outweighing the impacts:
