Friends For Fullerton's Future

December 22, 2009December 28, 2009About Us

AND THE WINNERS ARE: THE 2009 FRINGIES

Well Friends, here they are – the 2009 Fringie Winners. You don’t really deserve this sort of punishment inflicted on you, but…well, hell, maybe you do! The competition was spirited in many of the categories. And by spirited I mean mind-numbingly depressing. And I’m just a dog! I had to take long breaks several times during the nomination and judging to water the fire hydrants along Brea Boulevard.

It was like getting hit with a broomstick all over again...

1. In the category of Least Distinguished Journalist it really wasn’t even close. The OC Register’s Frank Mickadeit took it going away for his complete lack of journalistic integrity. In the end the judges just didn’t feel that Sharon Kennedy or Barbara Giasone even really qualified as journalists. Martin Wisckol was given credit for showing up on the blog even tho’ it was merely to defend his embarrassing whoring for Ackerman, Inc.

2. In the category of the Worst Bureaucratic SNAFU, the judges were clearly impressed by not only the scope of the Poisoned Park disaster and its ongoing potential for more o’ same, but by city staff’s ability to avoid any and all responsibility for the multi-million dollar mess. Bravo, Mr. City Manager, you’re finally catching up with your predecessor, and that’s saying a lot!

3. Worst Vote of 2009. Bankhead, Jones, and Keller for the win of course, with their undying support of the Redevelopment expansion. And by win, of course, I mean disastrous loss for everyone outside the Redevelopment Department.

4. In the category of Scariest Ghost of Fullerton Past, we had an eerily close call. Yet despite the frightening surprise visitation from my former broomstick-wielding mistress Jan Flory, the judges were absolutely horrified by the noxious vapor of Linda LeQuire, conjured up by Ackerman Inc. out of some fetid and accursed burial ground, to smear Chris Norby. It didn’t work, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.

5. In the category of Stupidest Statement Made in Public we again had a tough decision. In a year when Dick Jones said so many idiotic things and Pam Keller claimed (with a perfectly straight face) to be a “fiscal conservative,” a dark horse nominee grabbed the brass ring. And by dark horse nominee I mean the daffy, loud-mouthed nincompoop member of “Pam’s Posse” and her crazy-funny “why Pam should be mayor” rhetorical ramble through the brambles. Go ahead and watchit. We dares ya!

6. In the Government Small Change Adds Up category the award goes to the Roscoe’s Famous Nuisance Noise Study, a wonderful example of ill-conceived bureaucratic waste on a small scale that makes us really worried about the big stuff.

7. The Most Entertaining and/or Disturbing Image of 2009. Barney Wewak for the win. Aw, c’mon, was there ever any doubt? The picture even has a dog in it. Arf!

Bary Wewak — The Friends For Fullerton's Future Have Friends Around the World...

8. Best Vote 2009. This one was pretty easy for the judges since by the time they got around to this category they had inhaled copious amounts of medicinal weed acquired from the Dick & MaryJane Jones Dispensary. Our old friend Sharon Quirk-Silva gets a double victory for seeing the proverbial light on the God-awful McDonald’s relocation; and also for opposing that fraudulent Redevelopment expansion.

9. Our final category is the Most Awful Political Candidate of 2009, and it goes to none other than Chris Norby for his abortive County Clerk campaign. Rarely had the judges seen such a blatant fixation on public sector job preservation and such a mismatch of skill set to position. The campaign slogan “Preserving Your Vital Records” was so insipid and so lame I have to lift my leg on it. Again. There. Clean up in aisle #9! Well deserved Fringie, indeed!

Finally, the Judging Committee decided to award three special Fringies in 2009 in order to recognize excessively, aesthetically unattractive behavior on the part of some of our political personalities.

10. Special Fringie #1. The call by Pam Keller for a City-run blog – with no bloggers – was such a wonderful monument to fatuousness and political tone-deafness that as a statement and an act it really was in a class by itself. You can enjoy our original post here and listen to Keller’s statement. Well done, Pam! You excelled yourself.

11. Special Fringie #2. Well of course we had to acknowledge Linda Ackerwoman whose scampaign in the 72nd must be considered positively evil (yes the judges said evil!) by any normal person. This creature did not qualify in the most Awful Political Candidate category since the whole operation seemed more like a jail break than a campaign. Who knows how many hundreds of simoleons per vote this cipher and her Sacramento-organized goons wasted. Oh well. It least it wasn’t our dough!

12. Special Fringie #3. The judges believed that they would have been remiss without a tip o’ the Fringed cap to Congresscritter-for-life Ed Royce, the rat who managed to swim away from the giant suction-vortex of the sinking S.S. Ackerman and happily scampered up the waiting rope ladder onto the S.S. Norby. Well done little rodent!

And so friends, that concludes the 2009 Fringie Awards. We hope you have enjoyed them as much as we have enjoyed bringing them to you. And if you didn’t, tough.

Here’s looking forward to a new year filled with wonderful material from our favorite folks in Fullerton!

December 22, 2009December 28, 2009Dead heads

An Early Christmas Gift For The Friends

by Mr. Peabody4 Comments

Okay we bought this gift in 2008, and we’ve already given it to you a couple of times, but like my former landlord used to say all the time: “still good!”

Here is one of our first pieces of anti-Dick Jones propaganda from the 2008 clowncil campaign. It really is still good. We took some grief from the staus quo lackeys and defenders like Sharon Kennedy, who actually went on to endorse this jackass; and from the 2009 Fringie award-winner Frank Mickadeit who was too busy ass-kissing Repuglican ass to acknowledge the problem of Doc Heehaw’s gaping, deep-fried brayings.

Anyway, enjoy this brilliant piece of political invective that uses the target’s own febrile rants as the basis of its humor.

December 21, 2009December 28, 2009Repuglicanism

Another Carpetbagger Bites the Carpet

by Joe Sipowicz15 Comments

Okay stifle the snickers, 8th graders.

Art Pedroza over at the the Orange Juice blog did a post today about the phantom candidate, Sue Perez, pulling a campaignus interruptus in a putative bid for the 34th State Senate seat currently held by Lou Correa. This was important to us for two reasons: part of the 34th District includes Fullerton. And Sue Perez lives in the 33rd District. We have already posted on this woman’s carpetbagging candidacy, here.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the 33rd State Senate District.

Of course Art’s main thrust was to immediately poke holes in his newest target, Supervisor Janet Nguyen, who for some reason decided to let herself be named co-chair of this unknown wingnut’s effort. The other co-chair, frighteningly enough, was our own brainless scarecrow, 33rd District State Senator Mimi Walters, who, not coincidentally also championed the hollow, illegal candidacy of the Ackerwoman. Figures. Ah, more Repuglican values we can count on.

At any rate both of these co-chairs have been spared the humiliation of seeing their candidate get the living shit kicked out of her by Correa. So that worked out okay for them.

The story that is being circulated is that Perez has some baggage. Pedroza hazily speculates that this involves her carpetbagging and her husband’s appointment to the Anaheim Planning Commission by Lorri Galloway. This seems like small change to us, especially since Perez has apparently been employed by the bizzaros at the Trinity Broadcast Network.

So poor Jerb Cunningham, who has spilled lotsa ink badmouthing Lou Correa, is still in search of a God-fearing candidate. Good luck little fella. Maybe your hero Dick “I don’t look so good in stripes” Ackerman can scrounge up another Lynn “the Bulldozer” Daucher for us.

December 21, 2009December 28, 2009Fullerton School Board

Teachers’ Pension Fund Lying Low, Set to Explode

by Travis17 Comments

Certain Fullerton school board members have taken issue with our characterization of the CalSTRS teachers’ pension system as being underfunded and unsustainable. Our resident pension expert suggests that that the board may be reading a few too many rose-colored newsletters emanating from the retirement system itself. Perhaps some illumination is necessary.

land-mine-sign — This is as clear as it gets.

Before the market crash, CalSTRS was facing a $22.5 billion dollar shortfall. Since then, the market crash has killed about 30% of its assets. At this point, nobody knows how short the fund will be until it is recalculated in the spring. But the results are guaranteed to be frightening.

It’s true that CalPERS is getting all of the attention lately, but that’s only because CalSTRS doesn’t have the same power to levy rate hikes without legislative approval. Rest assured, the teachers’ union has already begun its lobbying effort to boost taxpayer contributions for teachers who retired long ago.

Some estimate that the fund will need to increase contributions by 75% next year. Pension apologists love to claim that “teachers pay for their own retirement”. The truth: payments to the teachers’ pension fund are primarily made by taxpayers, with only about 40% coming from teachers.

land-mine-step — Well, maybe sometimes it's too late to be smart.

Further efforts by CalSTRS to distance itself from the problems at CalPERS were hindered again this week as Moodys cut debt ratings for both agencies.

After the bomb goes off next year, the smoke will clear and taxpayers will be reaching into their wallets to clean up another mess. Who is to blame? State legislatures past and present, ignorant school boards across the state, the all-powerful teachers unions and their deceptive actuarials.

For regular updates on the pension crisis and its affect around the nation, visit Fullerton’s very own PensionTsunami.com. School board members should subscribe to email updates, lest they remain uninformed as the tidal wave approaches.

December 19, 2009December 30, 2009Behind Closed Doors

Another Disaster in the Making

by The Fullerton Shadow9 Comments

How come our electeds don’t seem to be able to grasp simple concepts; why have they no resistance to the bureaucratic sales pitch; why must they obscure their own ignorance in a cloud of asinine nonsense or outright lies?

Last Tuesday night the Fullerton City Council/Redevelopment Agency approved the idiotic Richman housing project, a staff-concocted, no-bid, pet project that proposes to subsidize ownership of condos. The vote was 3-1, Sharon Quirk-Silva, dissenting. Shawn Nelson took a powder.

Why is this project idiotic? First we believe that the ownership of a house is something that should be available equally, and not doled out by the government to its own selected recipients.

Second, the units in this project will have to be perpetually restricted to people whose income levels qualify. Perfect: perpetual housing bureaucracy! The necessary deed restrictions are a pretty significant encumbrance and will just add to the financial shakiness of the whole enchilada. But without these restrictions the original buyers would be in line for a massive windfall courtesy of all of us, when they sell.

A third point, as was admirably developed by Sharon Quirk-Silva, the proposed occupancy restrictions would very likely disqualify people who need housing the most. Which leads to the fourth point. These units will not count against Fullerton’s most neglected RHNA category – low and very low income. Which leads to:

Five. Dick Jones claimed that approving the Richman project is required to satisfy some legal mandate – it is THE LAW. That’s just a tin-plated, bald-faced lie. The SCAG RHNA allocations are goals, not a legal mandate. Cities are required by the State HCD to provide evidence of programs used to achieve those goals – not specific projects. And, in any case hypocritically, this project does not address the most urgent RHNA category of all which means that for folks who profess to really like this sort of thing, an opportunity has been lost.

Finally, FFFF has tried to promote better, more sustainable design in government-subsidized projects. And this project just promises more of the same old architectural crap we’ve been getting all along.

And now that we contemplate this fiasco, we feel the need for a last minute adendum to the Fringie Worst Vote category.

December 19, 2009December 28, 2009Boohooism

Two Peas In A Pod

by admin9 Comments

Today the Friends were amused by the photograph below that came across our wire. Now many things can be drawn from the visual, however, since a picture says a thousand words we thought we would just post it for all to see. Let the picture do the talking for itself sort of thing.

Pam Keller with Pelosi
Our staff Opthamologist has suggested a little trick while observing the photo. Stare straight at the photo for thirty seconds while repeating the words from Pam Keller “I am a fiscal conservative” over and over and see if your eyes go crossed.

December 18, 2009December 28, 2009About Us

Sort of Good News From the Fringe: Best Vote 2009

by Jan Florys Dog1 Comment

Okay, Friends, the pickings were worse than slim. They were virtually non-existent.

Still, in a generally all-round depressing year, accountability-wise, a few bright spots appeared. Here are our nominees:

1. The Vote to let the people decide on term limits. Kudos to Shawn Nelson, Pam Keller, and Sharon Quirk-Silva for deciding to let the people of Fullerton decide whether or not 12 years in enough time to be on the city council. Naturally Don Bankhead and Dick Jones opposed the idea correctly realizing that such an idea is a direct indictment of their own sad, useless multiple-term careers on the council.

2. The Death of The Great $6 million McDonalds move. Nelson, Quirk-Silva and even Jones got this one right right. The only problem is that an apparently insubordinate staff brought back a new plan later on with – you guessed it – McDonald’s still being relocated again. And with even more embarrassing architecture than ever. Of course this undermines the whole significance of the first vote. But in a thin year you take whatever you can get.

3. The Redevelopment Expansion. Like desperate rats clinging to shipwreck debris Pam Keller, Don Bankhead, and the egregious Dick Jones demonstrated their complete cluelessness and willingness to be led down the Redevelopment garden path. But Shawn Nelson and Sharon Quirk-Silva weren’t fooled by the blatantly phony findings of blight that provided the corrupt underpinnings for whole tottering edifice. Later on they opposed the shameful backroom deal cooked up with the County to buy off the latter.

4. The very recent vote on the Richman Housing project – a no-bid, staff make-work project that ignores the housing needs identified by housing advocates as the most pressing. Sharon Quirk-Silva saw through the bureaucratic self-interest and voted no.

December 18, 2009January 5, 2010Fullerton School Board

Capistrano Teacher Protests Foreshadow Fullerton Fight

by Travis4 Comments

All eyes were on the Capistrano Unified School District this week as the CUEA (teachers’ union) deployed armies of its members to protest a 10% pay cut. The union rented school buses to bring in over 1,000 protesters to the board meeting, which was halted at least once due to outbursts from the pro-union crowd.

But protests were escalated to new levels of intimidation as union members went so far as to march around the private home of trustee member Mike Winsten and his four children on Monday.

Teachers march on the home of CUSD Trustee Mike Winsten

A few days ago we announced that a similar pay cut proposal will be coming to Fullerton Unified School District.

Is this how the union will react in Fullerton? Busloads of unionized teachers sent to create an appearance of public support? FETA union demonstrators surrounding the homes of board members? Will children be used as metaphorical human shields to squeeze more money from taxpayers?

And most importantly, will the board have the guts to stand behind the cuts?

December 18, 2009December 28, 2009About Us

Fringe For All: Spine Chilling Horror!

by Jan Florys Dog2 Comments

trophy

During 2009 several disturbing apparitions were detected haunting Fullerton. Friends, be assured, this is not a task we undertake lightly, for obvious macabre reasons. Here are the spooky nominations in the Fringie category of Scariest Ghost of Fullerton Past.

1. Former City Council woman and my former owner Jan Flory appeared out of nowhere in January to persecute innocent lads on bicycles. She failed but caused the City to waste $20K in needless code enforcement costs. Brrrrr.

2. 2009 saw the reappearance of Linda LeQuire, Fullerton City Council’s original Queen of Spleen in the 1980s, who despised renters and Democrats with a weird hate lust, and who was aptly mated with her equally dim welder-husband, Roy (see below). LeQuire popped up right on cue to smear Chris Norby early in the 72nd campaign with allegations of having done something bad, sometime, somewhere, as verifiable by the now-dead former City Manager. Shriek!

3. And what should reappear during the summer, but the emanation of former one-term Council person Leland Wilson, who still has apparently failed to learn that you can’t make everybody happy by trying to be all things to all people. In August Leland joined an e-mail string attacking an OC Register editorial against Fullerton’s fraudulent Redevelopment expansion. His statement that “I’ve never seen so much BS in an editorial in all my life” was sent to such luminaries as Marty Burbank, Linda Ackerman, Peter Godfrey (see below), Roy LeQuire (see above), and Buck “Big Government” Catlin, among a wider assortment of staff stooges and pro-Redevelopment parasites.

Well of course the boys in the white van got hold of it! We didn’t post about it at the time because it seemed more annoying than significant. The frightening thing is maybe Leland Wilson still thinks he’s got a political future by parroting the self-interest pro-Redevelopment blathering of the Chamber of Commerce City Hall lackeys. If so, he’s wrong. Oooh. Stop it, Leland, you’re scaring us.

4. Good Lord! A Peter Godfrey sighting. This former Council member from the 1990s materialized at a City Council meeting to pitch the Redevelopment expansion. Who asked him to show up, and why anybody thought his opinion on any subject mattered at all, still remain a mystery, but not one hard to solve. Godfrey was an ineffective midget while on the council, and the years have done nothing to enhance his stature. The fact that Peter’s wife, Lois, kicked in a Big One to the Ackerwoman (see above) scampaign speaks volumes. Eeeeeek!

December 17, 2009December 28, 2009Chris Norby

Fullerton Fossils Flog Fabulous Fossils

by Mr. Peabody3 Comments

Recently CSUF President Milton Gordon appeared at the BoS chambers to memorialize the fact CSUF is going to be the custodian of the County’s vast bone collection of long-deceased beasts. Whether this collection includes the remains of such Pleistocene creatures as Harrieticus Weiderisus or Gaddius Vasquezii is unknown.

fossils — Norby and Gordon share pre-Holocene memories...

We note that Dr. Gordon appears a bit bemused. Let’s hope he found his way home.