Repuglican, Junior Grade

Forget the shower and shave...

There has been some talk hereabouts regarding tonight’s election of officers for the OCGOP. Not being a Republican, I really don’t care much who these idiots elect to be their “leaders,” a funny description of what amounts to little more than a kleptocracy (thanks, nipsey). Scott Baugh, the top dog who is running for another term, has been an overseer on the plantation for years, using his political connections to get a huge lobbying contract from the County of Orange. His official bootlicker, Matthew J. Cunningham, was rewarded for all his lackeydom with a six-figure-a-year deal with the most liberal agency in California proving that the plumbers are right and shit does run downhill.

But this post is about a chap named Jonathan Fleischman who is running  for 1st Vice president (or some equally lame title) really sets the the gold standard for repuglicanism. His pals like Cunningham love to tell you about how The Flash has labored in the trenches doing God’s work, blah, blah, blah. What he omits to mention is that Fleischman was crooked Sheriff Carona’s  apologist for years – while on the public payroll, and all the while running his real business, an ad factory blog called The Flash Report.

You are called upon by Cunningham to believe that underneath the oleaginous surface Fleischman is true and pure, a real Tea Partier. Examples are shown to demontrate his rock-ribbed conservatism and willingness to go after even bigger crooks than he. But check the dates: Fleischman’s behavior only got tough when he was no longer on the government payroll, the S.S. Carona was sinking fast, and he evidently saw his main chance in burnishing his alleged conservative credentials.

Psst. Fleischman's left the reservation...

But the true ‘pug in Fleischman re-emerged in fine form in the fall of 2009 when he promoted the carpetbagging scampaign of the utterly lame Linda Ackerwoman over Chris Norby. See, that episode was all about the do-re-mi, too. And that’s what repuglicanism is all about: getting government influence through specious claims of conservatism and then peddling it as hard as you can.

GOP Vice Chair Candidates Duke It Out on the Radio

The Martha Montelongo Show, Co-Hosted by Chris Thompson will be kicking up the dust in the OCGOP 1st Vice Chairman Race this Saturday night at 11PM on 870KRLA.

One of these things is not like the others.

Martha Montelongo and Chris Thompson (current Fullerton School Board Trustee and Orange County Republican) will be hosting a forum between Deborah Pauly and Allan Bartlett in their challenge against Jon Fleischman for the 1st Vice Chair of the Orange County Republican Party.

Jon Fleischman was invited, but he says 11PM is past his bedtime. Does he have this thing in the bag? Will he decide to down a Red Bull and change his mind? The forum will occur on 870AM KRLA beginning at 11:00PM this Saturday, Januray 15th. Listen live online at krla870.com.

Has the OCGOP really gotten its mojo back or is REVOLUTION within the Party inevitable? Tune in on Saturday night!

Another Pringle Undertaking

Der Pringle is dying to get in...

The OC Cemetery District sure seems to have a morbid fascination with failure.

Last year we reported on how the Orange County Cemetery District had employed Anaheim’s mayor-for-hire, Kurt Pringle as a consultant. Pringle was getting 6,000 bucks a month to find a new cemetery site, do PR, and act as a cemetery developer. Which was really pretty funny since Pringle is not a realtor, is not a landscape architect, and all the publicity the Cemetery District has gotten lately has all been bad.

We have something really nice for you in mahogany.

Pringle’s been on the Cemetery District’s payroll for two years now, which seems like ample time to have accomplished a lot. Well, something. Anything.

But in these opaque, special districts nothing succeeds like failure, apparently, for tomorrow the Cemetery District Board of Trustees is being asked by their staff to extend Der Pringle’s contract even though so far he has accomplished virtually nothing for them. Part of the problem is that the Cemetery Board is independent of any real oversight; and the average age of the Board is something like 969 years old, so there seems to be zero sales resistance.

Renew!!?? Sweet Jebus! The Board ought to be suing Pringle and his Associates for breach of contract!

The Tongue Bath

We knew it was coming, of course. The last obsequious tribute of the ultimate repuglican lackey to the ultimate repuglican puppeteer. Still, it’s pretty gross even when you knew it was coming.

No mention of incompatible offices, or of directing hundreds of millions to pet projects, or of do-nothing contracts with opaque organizations like the Children and Families Commission and the Cemetery District; no mention of a financial interest Form 700 that’s over 60 pages long; and no mention of “freedom-friendly” up-zoning that cleared out huge swaths of light industrial employers and employees to make way for high-density condos built by buddies.

Well, what did you expect?

Hey, Lucy, Where’s the $75,000?

Back in September, the OC Board of Supervisors approved yet another feel-good layer of government – something called the End Homelessness by 2020 Commission. They even allocated $75,000 towards one (1) executive director; another $75,000 was supposed to come from the “private sector.” The thing was trumpeted as a “public/private partnership” and all the do-gooders were feeling pretty good. Lucy Dunn, head of something called the OC Business Council was there to make sure everybody knew that the business community was on board and meant business.

We were this close to raising a nickle!

Flash forward to December14. On their agenda, the BOS had a agreement with the Children and Families Commission to front the other $75,000, and not only that, but to “recruit, hire and house” the executive director. What was sold a s a public/private deal was now wholly public; and the supes were asked to let another agency recruit and hire a contractor who is supposed to report to them!

Of course Ms. Dunn was there again to shamelessly blather on about her “time and treasure” even though there was none of her treasure, or that of her members, in evidence.

Supervisor Shawn Nelson would have none of it. He had the strange idea that words in a staff report should actually mean something; “show me the money” was what he had to say, indicating his acknowledgment that in almost a year the private sector hadn’t coughed up so much as a nickle and everybody on the inside knew it.

Led by John Moorlach, the crew approved this arrangement 4-1, and provided yet another example of how supposed conservatives in OC can’t throw away your money fast enough. And the Children and Families Commission has new roles – employment agency and homelessness advocates.Wanna bet to whom the executive director will answer? That’s right, Mr. $327K a year Mike Ruane, who runs the OCC&FC “do tank” and who will probably ask for a raise.

And what will happen in 1n 2020 when homelessness is not ended and the Commission has a staff of 23? Well, Hell, that’s easy! Just rename the commission. 2030 will be right around the corner!

Scab Pulled off OC Rob Reiner Commission Compensation. Ouch. That Hurt.

Bill Campbell is not a meathead...

The OC Register’s Tony Saavedra penned a nice little piece today exposing the Orange County Children and Families Commission Executive Director’s fabulous salary. Mike Ruane, the guy in question, pulls down a nifty $327K by the time everything is said and done. He has a grand total of 23 employees.

If you give me two hundred bucks an hour I'll defend this happy horse shit.

In the past we have explored the huge sums of money this tax-and-redistribute operation has paid out to political PR operations like Kurt Pringle; and we have detailed the idiotic $200 an hour payments to one Matthew J. Cunningham for doing thngs like listen to the radio and publicize toothbrush handouts.

It turns out that Ruane and his well-connected repuglican pals are not the only folks doing well by doing good. According to Saavedra over half of Ruane’s small posse pulls in over a hundred Gs per annum!

The bishop made me do it.

So who’s in charge? Well, nobody, of course. This is the worst kind of unaccountable government. The Board members are all appointed, but don’t answer to anybody. They can basically do any damn thing they want so long as the word “child” is mentioned somewhere. Atop the pyramid of power sits Supervisor Bill Campbell. You remember him. The one who actually wept here on the dais contemplating the good works of the Human Relations Commission. The Kids Commission is his pet project and damned if he isn’t going to do his God-ordained good works with your tax dollars.

Campbell’s respone to Saavedra is just comical and suggests that this idiot is probably just as profligate with County resources as he is handing out tobacco tax dough to kiducrats.

Bankhead Throws Hissy Fit

Enjoy this clumsy rhetorical diarrhoea on the part of our newly installed Mayor Pro Tem, Don Bankhead as he rationalizes excluding Sharon Quirk-Silva from the officer rotation. If you can figure out his weird justification for doing the wrong thing, and that we ought to return to a rotation (but not by him and not now), then God bless you.

Bankhead says he is tired of blah, blah, blah.

Newsflash, Blanky – we’re tired of crochety, semi-lucid ignoramuses representing the City of Fullerton. You got a pass this election but rest assured every idiocy that comes tumbling out of your mouth will be documented here.

Dannemeyer’s Recreational Vehicle Versus The People of Fullerton

Hey! You dope-smoking homos get outta my alley!

Bill Dannemeyer just lost an expensive appeal in an effort to compel you Fullerton taxpayers to pave a dirt alleyway that leads to the back of his property. Why? So that he can park his RV and boat behind his house.

“Who is Bill Dannemeyer?” some of you may well ask. Why, he used to be your esteemed Congresscritter there in F-town before the Little Corporal took over. He was a hard-line conservative who hated queers, and who got his start as – you guessed it – a public employee. A long, long time ago he was a City Attorney in Fullerton. In fact, he spent thirty years on the public dime.

Dannemeyer's RV, Burning Man 2008

You would think a former congressman, former city attorney and supposed “conservative” would be smart enough to avoid an evident legal morass caused by a selfish grab for public resources, or at least be able to present his case in plausible legalese. Boy would you be 180 wrong!

According to the appeals court that heard the case:

Dannemeyer’s opening brief is confusing and at times completely unintelligible. His brief has 22 separate argument headings, most of which are devoid of legal analysis, citation to relevant supporting legal authority, or cogent explanation as to how he was prejudiced by the claimed error

View the opinion

The Fringies: Worst Political Candidate of The Year

Cherry-flavored, glow-in-the-dark, radioactive Jebus! Who could have supposed that 2009 could have been topped when it came to really awful and horrific political candidates? But it was. By 2010. And it wasn’t even close.

2009 brought us the spectacle of Chris Norby running for County Clerk to preserve our birth certificates from the silverfish; and the hideous Linda Ackerwoman, an Irvine claim-jumper whose appalling repuglican candidacy for State Assembly resembled a jail break though a swamp more than a political campaign.

Well, Hell! They were just getting us warmed up.

In the category Worst Political Campaign 2010 we roll out the following rogues gallery of nominees:

Soon you will feel the mighty wrath of Sidhu!

1. “Hairball” Harry Sidhu. A bozo who is so damn stupid his first 4th District Supervisorial campaign move of 2010 was to pretend to live in a roach-infested apartment next to a pool hall in west Anaheim so he could qualify to run. Of course the “mainstream media,” the repuglican ass-kissers, and our do-nothin’ DA ignored this flagrant perjury. But we didn’t. From there on out it was all downhill for Hairbag, including a second fake address, inchoherent statements, more carpetbagging, embarrassing press releases, all around assclownery, and two humiliating defeats. Arf!

You will soon be an object of ridicule...

2. Lorri “Lorraine” Galloway. Another Anaheim Hills denizen who created at least three fake abodes (2 illegal) to run for the same seat as Sidhu. Her manifest idiocies, including the unintentionally hilarious “Lorri in 4th gear” video series (and the now world-wide youtube sensation “Poor Bella”)  identified this brain-dead clothes horse as the utter lightweight she is. Her checkered past revealed all sorts of scams that would have made Elmer Gantry weep bitter tears of envy. Oh, Anaheim! I lift my leg on thee!

Ha, I still have two strikes left!

3. Roland Chi, a creep who by all appearances was run out of Garden Grove and took up shop in Fullerton. His disgusting grocery business was busted for serial health code violations in which numerous people were food-poisined, and he dodged prosecution by giving some of his precious bodily fluid to the DA. Meantime, in Fullerton he organized a political sign theft ring headed up by his own father, violated IRS rules by politically pimping a non-profit, and got a Korean church to illegally promote his campaign. Almost nobody was fooled by this sleazy slime-suck except the Fullerton Police and Fire Unions that recognized a kindred spirit, and that whole-heartedly endorsed his sleazoid scampaign.

Wow. What a year!

Mayor Jones Names New Sister City

Thass some mighty purty brickwork!

Well, that didn’t take long. In office as Mayor for a few scant days, Doc Jones issued his first diktat: a new sister city for Fullerton to join the ranks of Fukui and Morelia and Yongin.

The Sister City Welcoming Committee

The new destination for Fullerton international gladhanders is none other than Pilgur, principal metropolis of Kharakhastan. Of course Friends will recall that Jones’s ties to Kharakhastan run deep, and remember his reference in a diatribe against a former Congressman:

Then there was our subsequent research into this exotic corner of Central Asia.

When reached for comment on his unusual decision, Jones minced no words: “As a Airman Basic in the Air Force I oncet had to bail out over that place. And man, I’m telling ya, them gals was friendly! ‘Sides I ain’t partial to no squids and raw tuna ‘n suchlike, ‘n that cabbage slaw done give me some baaaad gas.”

And so for those of you who believed that Good Ol’ Boy Jones was jes’ gonna run out the clock, well, Hell y’all can guess again.