Undercover Surveillance Unit Captures Strange Conversation

I'd sell my soul for a cold one right about now...
I'd sell my soul for a cold one right about now...

When we returned to the FFFF HQ today we noticed that somebody had been rummaging around in the medicine cabinet. Sure enough, some of our ritual mescaline had disappeared. And later today we received the following communication from the boys in the white, unmarked van, purporting to be yet another snagged Dick Ackerman telephone conversation. Although we know who the other communicant is (or claims to be) we have been unable to discover anything about this individual. If any of the Friends can help out we would certainly appreciate the assistance.

(phone ringing)

Dick Ackerman: (snort) Yeah, Ackerman here.

Louis Cyphere: Hello Richard. Louis Cyphere calling.

DA: Oh, Jesus.

LC: Come again?

DA: (Grunting sounds) Heh heh. Sorry, boss.

LC: Richard please stop making animal sounds. I want to know what’s been going on lately. You haven’t been in touch.

DA: Been busy. Trying to beat that bastard Norby. Need some more help. Things aren’t looking too good.

LC: Ah, Richard, they rarely do. But I’m wondering, well, you know, what’s in it for me?

DA: Hgpmph. Um. Well, Hell…

LC: Hmmm?

DA: I mean, you know…

LC: You see Richard, the thing of it is, I feel I’ve already pretty much optimized my investment in you and the missus, and I have so many political things on my plate right now.

DA: 72nd at stake. (grunting) Lots of possibilities in Sacramento.

LC: Yes, well, the 72nd was pretty much bought and paid for back in ’95. Surely you remember that arrangement.

DA: Ughmpmphh. Yeah, sure boss.

LC: Good. Well, the World Series is over and the Yanks have won again, so I suppose…what more do you want?

DA: Gotta shut down the blogs. That Bushala. Goddammit! Killing me. I mean killing us. I mean killing Linda! Phone calls, signs, blogthings, Goddamn signs. Right there on the way to Dolan’s house.

LC: Richard. No need to blaspheme. What do you want?

DA: (snarling sound and a low bark) Take him out. Accident. Overdose. Suicide. Something.

LC: Calm down now Richard. You know I can’t do that. Bushala, again? You mean our arrangement with Malcolm didn’t work out? I could try to cut a deal with him.

DA: Yeah. Heh. Heh heh. A deal (three quick grunts).

LC: Greek Orthodox?

DA: (undecipherable) What? Goddamit, that white van is out back behind the badminton courts.

LC: Never mind.

(at this point the telecommunication was cut off)

That mescaline is gone for good...
That mescaline is gone for good...

Did Ackerman Break State Lobbying Law?

Heh-heh. If it's not done in a backroom it's not a real deal!
Heh-heh. If it's not done in a backroom it's not a real deal!

Acting as an agent for a group of OC Fairboard members that wants to purchase the OC Fairgrounds, Dick Ackerman lobbied to pass legislation last summer that would enable the sale. At least that’s what is being asserted at the OC Progressive blog, here. Apart from the dubious gain to the citizens of the State and Orange County, there is another problem. State law prohibits former Legislators from lobbying in Sacto for a year after they leave office. And Ackerman had only been out of office for six months. Here’s the awkard bit:

87406.  (a) This section shall be known, and may be cited, as the Milton Marks Postgovernment Employment Restrictions Act of 1990.
(b) No Member of the Legislature, for a period of one year afterleaving office, shall, for compensation, act as agent or attorney for, or otherwise represent, any other person by making any formal or informal appearance, or by making any oral or written communication, before the Legislature, any committee or subcommittee thereof, any present Member of the Legislature, or any officer or employee thereof, if the appearance or communication is made for the purpose of influencing legislative action
.

Hmm. As a law and order Repuglican Dick ought to know better. But maybe this is another one of those pesky rules that the ‘Pugs just like to call “unenforceable” or anti-free speech, or some other nonsense. It’s also worth noting that Ackerman’s clients on the Fair board are now accused of violating open meeting laws in order to orchestrate the insider scam.

Over at the OJ blog the irrepressible Vern Nelson is publicizing a protest meeting in Costa Mesa, and actually gives props to Mike Duvall for opposing the sale. Odd, if true, because you can bet Dick lobbied his political godson hard. Coincidentally, Duvall is now gone, and Ackerman’s wife, Ackerwoman, is running to replace him on a strong ethics platform.

Well, that platform just got another couple of its legs kicked out from under it. And remember, Dick “speaks for his wife.”

Okay, This Is Starting To Get A Little Embarrassing

What's next? "Former Hippies For Ackerman?"
What's next? "Former Hippies For Ackerman?"

The other day one of our Friends, an entrenched member of the Green Party, got a spam e-mail at his GP address from: drum roll…..Linda Ackerman.

Now there isn’t a chance in hell that this guy or any of his kindred spirits are going to vote for a Republican, let alone one that lives in Irvine; especially when they have a perfectly fine Greenie in Jane Rands.

We have already related how Mrs. Ackerman has tried to court non-Reeps by slithering out from under her own Repuglican rock; only to alienate local Republican stalwarts. She’s still trying to scrape the elephant dung off her shoes after that misstep.

We have also been told that Ackerwoman is advertising on cable TV during the day. Well there’s a no-brainer. And we mean that literally.

I gave Probolsky fifteen grand so I guess I'll buy another vowel
I gave Adam Probolsky fifteen grand and he told me I look good on TV

Campaigning for Fun And Profit!

Friends, check out the Linda Ackerwoman campaign expense report at the California Secretary of State’s website.

We noticed this odd line item.

10/19/2009 ACKERMAN, DICK OFFICE EXPENSES   $654.40

Ackerwoman’s campaign forked over $654 bucks to her husband under the crypric description of “office expenses.”

Heh heh. Never miss a trick.
Heh heh. Never miss a trick.

Could Dick actually be charging his wife’s campaign for some sort of services rendered? Well, why not? She made a killing as a “consultant” on his campaigns, and what the Hell, turnabout is fair play, right? Too bad the campaign won’t turn a profit.

We do have to wonder what kind of total Dick will rack up by the time Ackerman, Inc. is done squeezing every drop out of lobbyists.

The Return of Ackerwoman: IRVINE CARPETBAGGER

Remember this one? It seems that some enterprising Russians have been sharing this clip with their pals in Mockba. So we thought, what the heck! If it’s good enough for Ivan, it’s good enough for the voters of the 72nd District – to be reminded THAT ACKERMAN, INC. DOES NOT LIVE IN OUR DISTRICT! OH, NO. NOT EVEN CLOSE. THE WOMAN WHO WANTS TO REPRESENT NORTH ORANGE COUNTY IN THE STATE ASSEMBLY LIVES IN IRVINE, AND HAS DONE SO FOR TEN YEARS!

More Phony Hand Wringing From the Skipper of the Yellowing Submarine

Ahoy there, reality - unable to surface...
Ahoy there, reality - unable to surface...

A new month, the same old weeping by the Fullerton Observer about how the good ol’ boys are keeping poor Pam Keller from her entitlement to be mayor when the next term starts. It’s not fair! Not fair!

(Ed. – Never a word about Keller’s dismal votes on massive projects or her unique working relationship with FSD/Fullerton Collaborative, but that’s another story.)

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: the person who is entitled to be mayor is the council person who can get two other people on the council to vote for him. Pretty simple. Nothing else really matters.

The author of this indignant drivel lays out a conspiracy tale of events behind the scenes to keep a Democrat out of the presiding chair; and as usual the plot centers around Shawn Nelson, without whom the Observer would have a lot less to natter on about. Ironically the tangled web includes Observer favorite Don Bankhead and by necessity another Observer endorsement recipient – Dick Jones! Observer chickens coming home to roost? God, let’s hope so!

Politics might be going on. The horror! Of course despite the Observer trying to emphasize the ceremonial (i.e. non-political) aspects of the mayorship, the fact is it is a very coveted title when re-election time rolls around – as it does for Pam Keller, next year. Aha! Politics!

So is a scheme being worked out to elect somebody else mayor for 2010? Possibly. Quite likely, although since none of the supposed principles would be likely to talk to Sharon Kennedy about it, it seems much more likely to be a pure guess on her part. Our congressman Ed Royce loves to meddle in these affairs; to him it seems easier than simply turning on the light and opening the closet door to discover that there really is no monster in there. Just some mops and brooms.

And speaking of politics, maybe The Observer should quit endorsing Ed Royce puppets like the chowderhead Jones and focus on somebody who could actually be counted on to support Keller for mayor. Oh no! More politics.

FFFF Undercover Surveillance Unit Digs Deep, Strikes Gold!

Oh, no. Not again!
Oh, no. Not again!

At least they said they did. We will certainly forgive you if you have your doubts. The boys in The Van were given an extra allocation of medicinal mushrooms after their last supposed Ackerman phone call coup, and, well, that’s an ingredient that could produce almost any kind of weird hallucination.

Anyway, here’s what the Undercover Surveillance Unit claims to have captured. Make of it what you will.

(phone ringing)

Dick Jones: Ahhm a comin’ (heavy panting noises) Hello?

Dick Ackerman: (a grunt) Dick Ackerman here.

DJ: Dick! (wheezing sounds) Sorry, ah’m a little winded. Long way from the privvy.

DA: Quit talking and listen. That asshole Nygren did a poll. Roski’s pulling out. Two goddam miserable weeks left and that punk Roski’s pulling out on me. They’re all out to get me. No respect. Goddammit I’m Dick Ackerman. Okay, look, I’m outta dough. We’re outta dough. Linda’s outta dough. Hitting up all my Fullerton friends. Our Fullerton friends. Linda’s Fullerton friends.

DJ: A poll (wheezing and coughing). What kinda poll? (coughing)

DA: (several guttural noises) Don’t worry about that. Forget about it. I need some dough. We need some dough. Linda needs some dough. We gotta keep hitting that bastard Norby. Right up ’til the end. At the end. After the end (distinct snarling sound followed by an apparent bark).

DJ: That Norby, boy, he’s a real troublemaker. A real Brutus. Et tu Brutus? (unattributable sputtering sounds)

DA: What?

DJ: Huh?

DA: (a series of staccato grunts) Shut up and listen. What can I put you down for? The limit, right?

DJ: Ahhumm. Well, ah ain’t gonna hide the fact, Dick. S’been a tough year. Reeeal tough! (two phlegmmycoughs)

DA: (a snarl) Why you ingrate, if it wasn’t for me you’d just be another loud-mouthed Rotarian. You’ve got more money than Croesus. Sell one of your thirteen cars and pony up, goddammit!

DJ: There was a poll? (more asthmatic wheezing)

DA: (a bark) Goddammit you jackass, forget about the poll! I’m putting you down for $1200. A guy’s coming up to Fullerton today to wash my car at Dolan’s place. I’ll send him over to pick up the check.

DJ: Norby. That sumbitch tried to stop our Redevelopment expansion. That’s a brilliant plan. He’s a trouble maker. And he’s buddies with Bushala. Suin’ his own city! Got a name fer boys like that back in Galveston: sumbitch.

DA: Yeah. I tried to shut up that punk too. Didn’t work. Everybody’s useless. Out to get me. Get us. Get Linda. (several low growling sounds) But forget about that.

DJ: (a long wheeze) Heh-heh, did ah ever tell ya about the Eye-talian family that used to run Galveston?

DA: What? Shut up and listen. My boy will be around for the check at ten or eleven. His names’s Mike. Or Matt. Or Milt. Something like that. Won’t do my tires right (a snarl).

DJ: Huh?

DA What?

DJ: There was a poll?

Unidentified Female Voice in Background: Dick, that white van is back behind the statue garden wall!

DA: Hell. Damn peacocks are gonna go off again. Okay. Get off the line you idiot. And write that check. Now.

Is The Deluge of Ackerwoman Slime Over?

Well, the ol' bucket is finally empty
Is the ol' bucket finally empty?

Friends, have you noticed the sudden subsidence of big glossy mailers sent out by Ackerman, Inc. and Alliance for California’s Tomorrow (ACT) attacking Chris Norby? You know, the ones that take uncorroborated testimony from a disgruntled ex-County employee fired for misfeasance and turned into third person language to make it look like somebody was a witness to her bogus claims?

We were getting pieces almost everyday (sometimes two) ladled out of the Ackerwoman slop-bucket, but that has stopped. Even Ackerwoman’s obsequious press agent Martin Wisckol has noticed it – and actually tried to figure out why. The ACT has run out of money. The last dough they spent went to a poll – and no more money has come in since.

Possible poll results that look bad for Ackerwoman, plus the fact that the majority of permanent absentee voters who are voting have already mailed in their ballots may well mean that the investment value in Ackerwoman’s candidacy has been reassessed.

So, have Ed Roski, the Indian casinos, and the other anti-Norby interests finally given up on the Ackerwoman campaign? Wisckol asked Jim Nygren, the parasite who runs ACT. Nygren said he was told to keep quiet. Apparently Roski doesn’t care for idle chatter.

Draw whatever conclusions you choose.

I’d Like to Thank The Academy, and All The Little People…

The LiberalOC surveys the blogosphere...
The LiberalOC surveys the blogosphere...

Check out this fun post by Dan C-somethingorother at theLiberalOC  blog. I’ve been named the scariest blogger in OC! Not #3, not #2, but #1! Like Coach used to say they only come after you when you’re carrying the ball!

I think Dan C. is still mad at me for saying that he and Matt Cunningham were just maggots (or maybe it was parasites) burrowing into different sides of the same rotten apple.

I am derided for not pursuing Dan’s “reasoned debate” (say Dan, any more jokes on Norby marriages?); and also that I am a bully (although he remains silent on whom I have bullied); and also because there’s a Chris Norby sign somewhere in Tustin; and because Jim lacy offered to include us in his defense of free speech; but Dan is just a spokeshole for the crooked Boss Agran machine in Irvine so we can pretty quickly find his spot on the shelf and put him on it. He actually goes on to say that he wants Ackerwoman to win just to hear me whine. Well, that won’t happen!

But anyway, its good to get peer recognition whenever you can and some supposed insults can be proudly worn as a badge of honor.

The LiberalOC? Hell, we get more daily hits than they do! And with Dan’s help we’ll get even more. 

Fullerton Redevelopment Bimbo Joins 72nd Campaign!

Hey, big boy, wanna create a Redevelopment Project Area?
Hey, big boy, wanna create a Redevelopment Project Area?

Today the fraudulent “Alliance for California’s Tomorrow,” the pay to play slush fund that’s been attacking Chris Norby, recorded an interesting contributor: Marshall Linn. Mr. Linn is the President of Urban Futures, the Redevelopment “consultant” that cooked up the totally bogus Redevelopment expansion scheme for Fullerton. He kicked in $2,000.

Well, now we take that personally!   Urban Futures is nothing more than an opinion for hire – hacks and paid Redevelopment agency hookers. They make Mr. Linn’s nice living for him by creating phony justifications for Redevelopment: recognizing blight where none exists. FFFF is suing the City of Fullerton for its fraudulent Redevelopment expansion, and now the president of this parasitic enterprise is trying to defeat Chris Norby – enemy of eminent domain and Redevelopment abuse.

Well, Marshall, thanks for popping up like the weed you are. This will make our dealings with the city that much more entertaining!