Friends For Fullerton's Future

August 20, 2009August 20, 2009Pam Keller

Yikes! How Dumb Does “Pam Keller’s Website” Think We Are?

Very, apparently. This morning The Harpoon published this funny post on Council woman Pam Keller’s upcoming fundraiser featuring a “Woodstock” theme here.

Not long after we got a comment from a someone calling him/herself “Pam Keller’s Website,” which was another source of merriment for some of our commenters. We assume this actually was from Pam’s campaign; not because the cyber-world isn’t full of impostors, but because the drivel was so inane that well, it just had the ring of truth to it.

The possibility of a developer contributing to Pam’s campaign fund caused “Website” to come a bit unglued. Here is the fun excerpt:

“I will PROTECT Fullerton from special interest developers that want to influence our future. I have not and will not accept developer contributions to get elected. I support vision and growth that is driven by the residents of Fullerton.”

Ah! The Vision thing! Won’t take money from developers? What, is she just selling out for free?

When confronted with direct questions about how Pam’s approval of “Jefferson Commons” and “Amerige Court” squared with the comment above, and asked just which Fullerton citizens “drove” those monstrosities forward, Website became even more ludicrous:

“The only ’special interest’ I intend to represent is you, your family and your neighbors. You can count on me to PLAN, PROTECT, PROVIDE and PRESERVE Fullerton!”

PLAN, PROTECT, PROVIDE, AND PRESERVE. Exclamation point! Empty verbal pabulum, especially given Keller’s track record of approving massive new development projects in Fullerton, and her support of Redevelopment expansion that is no doubt calculated to bring even more large development to the east and west sides of town. She just okayed negotiations to embark upon a big new housing project on Euclid, between Orangethorpe and Valencia!

What in the world is there in her actual record to support the notion that we can count on her to be anything but a guaranteed “yes” vote for any new massive development projects the City staff is promoting?

August 20, 2009December 28, 2009Chris Norby

Plop. Norby Campaign Soils Itself

by The Fullerton Shadow3 Comments

The OC Register did a story today about Chris Norby’s attempt to solicit campaign contributions from County employees at their work e-mail addresses here . Apparently this is a big no-no, although lawyers aren’t sure if the law has been broken.

We reported the other day about the seeming fundraising focus of Norby’s website, and it could have been this mania that caused the e-mail boner here .

According to the Reg story, Norby campaign consultant Matt Holder admitted error and says any monies collected would be returned. Great. Meantime Chris racks up some more bad publicity due to Lewis Group LLC.

Geez, now we really hope Chris isn’t paying these chuckleheads too much.

August 20, 2009December 28, 2009Pam Keller

Keller Fundraiser Targets Ex-hippies

by The Fullerton Harpoon20 Comments

Too intense, man — Oh, too intense, man. Turn it off, turn it off.

Fullerton Council member Pam Keller is having a fund raiser with a “Woodstock” theme. You may not remember Woodstock, and that is forgivable since many of the people who were there can’t remember it either. Or you may be too young. So we’ll help out a little: musicians bombed out of their minds, mud wrestling in the rain, and a whole lot of LSD making it bearable, and totally, you know, psychedelic, man.

A fitting end to the irresponsible 60s many up-tight squares would say.

Since Pam is 46 or so, she must have been seven years old when Woodstock went down so it’s sort of an odd theme – unless one stops to consider her target audience – hippies turned multiple-Volvo liberals who are now pushing or have pushed the 60-year mark and can afford to be Jimi Hendrix Fan Club members at $1000 a pop.

We do wonder how many dee-velopers of the sort that foisted Jefferson Commons and Amerige Court on Fullerton will just mail their checks in. We’ll find out when financial reports are made and let you know.

Well, anyway we like Pam okay, and so we pass along this free plug for her fundraiser. It probably won’t be as much fun as the real Woodstock, but who knows? Just keep your eye on the punch bowl. Mr. Peabody may be there.

Outta sight, man. I always wanted to drop acid with the Honorable Minard Duncan. What a blast!

August 19, 2009January 4, 2010Arts & Architecture

The City is Violating Its Own Law in Hillcrest Park

by Fred L. Olmsted7 Comments

If you’ve driven along Brea Boulevard lately you will have noticed that the north hill side of Hillcrest Park has been completely scraped as part of the so-called Lions Field improvements. Well, the hillside was suffering from total (and I mean complete) negligence on the part of the City for decades. What is being built, are large retaining structures to “stabilize” the slope. The only problem is that what the slope needed to stabilize it was appropriate landscaping – a solution that the parks Department ignored for years.

The addition of retaining structures in the park is inappropriate. More than that, it’s illegal. Hillcrest Park is a designated Fullerton Landmark (#6) and as such the types of alteration being proposed should have been reviewed in a public hearing by the Landmarks Commission. This never happened. It’s true that Hillcrest Park doesn’t fit into any of the categories included in the watered-down version of the Landmarks Ordinance passed by the City about 12 years ago. But adherence to the Secretary of the Interior’s Standards is one key. Another issue is that of demolition and replacement of historic elements. Even the watered down code has a spirit that has not been observed.

Once again the City has ignored its own laws, laws that you or I would be expected to follow. It has specifically ignored the Landmark Ordinance once again, a part of the Zoning Code that the City has habitually and serially abused over the years (if you want I’ll make a list).

For years the City has turned over the park to pervs and low-lifes while ignoring the historic built environment. And now it seems they are embarked on another form of abuse of an historic resource.

August 18, 2009August 19, 2009Fullerton City Council

County Deploys Certified Helmet Fitters

by Travis Kiger13 Comments

There’s an item on tonight’s council agenda that highlights the ridiculous overhead that government do-gooders can add to otherwise trivial tasks. In this case, the Orange County Health Care Agency wants to give out 300 helmets to poor kids in Fullerton. Sounds like a simple task, right? Buy 300 helmets and give them out, hoping that kids will smash their melons a bit less frequently.

But that’s not how government operates – in this case, the county hires Helmet Fitting trainers to train Helmet Fitters to fit helmets on juvenile fittee’s. Before that can happen, Helmet Fitter trainee’s must be Helmet Fitter certified, presumably by some kind of Helmet Fitting certification authority.

But we can’t have certified Helmet Fitters running around without releasing the city from Helmet Fitting risk. And we can’t have Helmet Fitters fitting helmets without filling out a Helmet Consent Form. In case you think I’m making this up, here is the text from the grant request:

This grant provides 300 helmets for distribution to low income children under age 18 living in Fullerton. Parks and Recreation staff and volunteers will be trained and certified as Helmet Fitters by the County of Orange Health Care Agency. Prior to receiving a helmet, each recipient and/or parent of recipient will receive helmet safety education by the certified Helmet Fitter, complete the Voluntary Release Assumption of Risk and Indemnity Agreement form and the Helmet Consent Form

This obvious make-work project would be comical if it wasn’t a complete waste of city and county resources. If this task must be done, please give the helmets to some non-profit who can tackle it without all of the overhead.

August 18, 2009December 28, 2009Chris Norby

Alternative Slogans For Norby’s Campaign

by The Fullerton Shadow14 Comments

OCCampground

Okay, we really couldn’t resist it. Yesterday we posted here about Chris Norby’s County Clerk campaign website. The slogan that appears on the site is so funny that it invites humor: Preserving Your Vital Records. Wha?

That was the really best campaign consultant John Lewis could come up with? Preserving your vital records? If that doesn’t mobilize the troops, then we don’t know what will!

But, seriously we feel compelled to offer Norby helpful alternatives, such as:

Red Tape is Fun!

The Job Ain’t Over ’til The Paperwork’s Done!

Bureaucracy Drives the County Forward!

Your Non-vital Records Will be in The Dumpster By Morning!

Okay, Friends. Now it’s your turn to share your ideas. Let’s give Mr. Norby a hand here since John Lewis seems to be so useless!

August 17, 2009August 17, 2009Chris Norby

Norby Website Up; Fundraising Success Seems To Be Main Thrust

by The Fullerton Shadow28 Comments

Chris Norby’s campaign for County Clerk has a website: http://www.norby10.com/ . When you go there you see a lot about how much money he’s raised and lots of pictures of Chris, but virtually nothing about ideas or plans on how to run the department – just lots of platitudes about accountability, etc. One “idea” actually talks about getting other counties to follow the “OC model.” Isn’t that the job of their county clerks?

He also addresses Tom Daly’s campaign for supervisor as a foregone conclusion, and we’re not too sure about that click here .

The image on the website of Chris superimposed on the Old Courthouse may not be a hot idea since it might tend to keep some old jokes about Norby sleeping there going.

OCCampground — "Preserving Your Vital Records?!!" Wow, throw 'em some more red meat, Chris!

Anyway, check it out for yourselves. We have sometimes supported Chris in the past, but this campaign is becoming a bit problematic. The website does not allay any of the suspicions raised by commenters on our last post that Chris is just running for this because he needs a government job click here. It is apparent that Norby is running this campaign as an “insider,” and that doesn’t bode well, either.

August 17, 2009August 17, 2009Watch Your Wallet

Cockroach Infestation/Luau Party at Fullerton Senior Center

by Travis Kiger19 Comments

The Fullerton Senior Center on Commonwealth was shut down by the County on Thursday after the City of Fullerton allowed a cockroach infestation to get out of control. An inspection report from the Orange County Health Care Agency shows that live cockroaches were found in a food storage area next to the kitchen after a roach sighting was called in by a concerned citizen. The center was shut down overnight and opened back up the next morning, just in time for Friday’s Senior Hawaiian Luau Party.

When it’s not being used to dish out extra crunchy meals to senior citizens, the City rents out the facility to create some healthy taxpayer-subsidized competition for Fullerton’s numerous privately-owned restaurants and banquet halls. These entrepreneurial establishments must pay taxes to the city, only to have the city turn around and use that money to subsidize a facility in direct competition with their own business. That just doesn’t seem right, does it? Fortunately for those business owners, the city is not capable of managing a safe dining facility.

It’s not hard to imagine that many of the city’s customers will be canceling their reservations until the city gets its act together. In the meantime, the old folks who eat lunch there every day should chew carefully.

August 17, 2009August 16, 2009About Us

My Travels Through Tanzanyisha – Part II

by The Fullerton Harpoon7 Comments

My cab driver was a young man named Cornelius. He has a wife and already five kids, and lives in a patched together sheet metal shack on the wrong side of Ushanda’s perimeter beltway. Like lots of Ushandans he steals government electricity from a bootleg transformer and an extension cord. He showed me a photo of his family standing in front of their ramshackle house. He seemed eager to talk. Especially about Country Western music.

He wore a pink shirt and said he loved Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson. And Kristofferson. Cornelius sang a soulful rendition of Sunday Mornin’ Coming Down as we zig-zagged our way along Mombazi Boulevard, past the foreign embassies, some now empty, and into the downtown district. He wasn’t bad. He does karaoke two nights a week in a Ushandan club.

We entered the curved and cracked asphalt driveway of the Ushanda Hilton at about 3 PM. The sunlight now slanted through the decorative palms, but the heat and humidity had become even more oppressive. Cornelius said that modern Country was just overproduced pop music now. I agreed and paid him. He seemed very happy to get American cash. Tanzanyishan paper dollars are virtually worthless.

Like the once gleaming buildings of the business district, the hotel is a reminder of better days – when foreign investment was still seen as a plausibility, and also a shabby symbol of lost hope. It is air conditioned, barely, although this God-sent amenity often relies upon a diesel generator rather than Ushanda’s over-taxed, and unpredictable power grid.

At the lobby desk some problem was not getting solved. Africa.

A well-fed, but obviously frazzled American, wearing a crumpled white linen suit and white shoes, with a wild shock of white hair, was arguing volubly with the desk clerk. A high-pitched Southern twang held forth. Nearby stood a sad, starched, yet wilting woman of indeterminate age, all too familiar with the script.

Ah have a reservation, dammit! I am sorry sir, but we do not have it here. Well you better look again, son, Ah’m from Texas, and Ah’m a doctor! Sorry sir, but I cannot find a reservation for you.

Reservation? The place was damn-near deserted. I figured out pretty quickly what was going on. Ugly American Doctor was getting jerked around by a Third World hotel clerk. He would get his room all right, but not right away. I was enjoying the performance, but I was becoming damn thirsty, too. Peeking meekly around Doctor Phogbound I gave the clerk a quick wink of approval and asked if I could check in. I had a reservation. Marlowe. Yes, sir!

In need of something cold I headed across the lobby to the hotel bar, leaving the dreadful Phogbound in drawlful fulmination.

Ah’m a colonel. By Golly, Ah’m important! Ah know a congressman!

I had an uneasy feeling our paths would cross again.

Angry Doctor in Ushanda Hilton lobby. — Blustering doctor in Tanzanyishan hotel lobby.

August 15, 2009August 16, 2009Friends Around the World

My Travels Through Tanzanyisha – Part I

by The Fullerton Harpoon16 Comments

A few hectic weeks before I had not even heard of the place: Tanzanyisha. Yet, here I was, flying low over the lush tropical rain forest, as our DC 8 made its descent into the Mombazi Airport.

Ushanda City swept into view below: several aging glass and steel mid-rise towers of the 1960s International Style, hearkening to the early halcyon days of the Republic when the hated British had finally pulled out and independence was relished like the sweet, ripe fruit of the mango. A wide perimeter of low-lying bungalows, corrugated steel shacks, and shipping crates housed Ushanda’s hungry populace, and spread out to meet the uncertain edge of the steaming jungle.

And then we touched down.

Down the rolling stairway and onto the hot, shimmering midday tarmac. Suddenly I became aware of soldiers. Everywhere. Heavily armed. Rifles. Bandoliers. Grenades. I remembered the words of Richard Longtree, the often lyric author of Modern Journeys in East Africa, that I had purchased in Cairo and read on the plane:

Tanzanyisha has endured five military coup d’etats since 1990. Five regime changes. Five new constitutions each more outlandish and hollow than the one that came before. The people weep, but their tears are dry.

Inside the sweltering concourse large fans rippled the giant sheet of fabric bearing the vast likeness of Tanzanyisha’s newest President-for-Life, General Jonas Mombazi; Jonas Mombazi, DDS, who had risen from civilian dentist to rebel commandante, and finally self-promoted to his new and august position. His middle-aged face betrayed nothing about his personality; he hid his bad teeth behind bland, indifferent lips. A dentist should have good teeth. Since 2007 thirteen thousand of his countrymen had gone missing.

General and President for Life: Jonah Gombazi — General and President for Life: Jonah Mombazi

I got my duffel bag. The trip through customs was a perfunctory affair; a sullen looking soldier in camouflage fatigues and a black beret cast a quick glance in my direction and quickly jerked his head toward the exit. My passport was stamped and I stepped outside into the intense heat and near-blinding light of Jonas Mombazi Boulevard, a palm lined, four-lane strip of concrete that led into the potholed streets of Ushanda City. Twenty years of constant tank traffic had left its angry, chiseled marks.

Mad dogs and Englishmen. Noel Coward was right.