The Fullerton Harpoon, Author at Friends For Fullerton's Future

October 24, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

FFFF Surveillance Team Snags Another Ackerman Call

Well they have done it again. Or at least they told us they did. Our crack Undercover Surveillance Unit has sent in a transcript of another intercepted Dick Ackerman phone conversation, this time with an unidentified male communicant. We are not sure exacly what to make of this transcript and we are cognizant that the surveillance team had just been issued its monthy medicinal marijuana supply. So we simply pass the transcript along to the Friends, who would be damn fools to believe it.

Heh heh. Remember the ferrets? — Heh heh. Remember the steamroom?

(Phone ringing)

Unidentified Male Communicant: Yes, hello.

Dick Ackerman: Tomski, Dick Ackerman here. (two quick grunts followed by a snort)

UMC: The Dickster! (unintelligible guttural sound)

DA: Booga, Booga!

UMC: Alpha Kappa

DA: Alpha Kappa Chi!

UMC: Grab some titties,

DA: Shoot some beaver,

UMC: I Eta Pi! (three or four grunts in quick succession) Heh. Heh heh.

DA: (Several snorting sounds and a distinct throat clearing) Heh heh heh.

UMC: What’s up Dickie-boy?

DA: (a grunt) Got some trouble up north with a punk reporter and a coupla pissant bloggers. Got a girl in trouble.

UMC: The Dickster! Oh yeah! Still got it! (two deep grunts). Heh heh.

DA: Not like that you idiot. More Duvall shit. God I wished I’d never talked that asshole into running. (a low, long rumbling sound)

Unidentified Female Voice In Background: She’s works so hard!

UMC: Uhhhmm…what do you want me to do?

DA: A coupla letters, heh heh. Pin some ears back, heh, heh, heh. The usual.

UMC: (a long rumbling throaty noise). Ahhh. Look Dickie-boy the suits back east are getting a little hung up on all this pro bono stuff. So…

DA: (a quick snarl) No, you look Tomski. We go back a long way. Remember the trouble with that senorita in Vallejo? And that little side deal during the Swindell merger? And the steam room. Remember the steam room, Tomski?

UMC: That was thirty-five years ago!

DA: Thirty-seven. But what’s a coupla years between old friends?

UMC: Ughhh.Ughhhh. Well…ughhh…

DA: Good. So we can count you in. Knew we could. I’ll fax over the dope. Get on it! (a grunt)

UMC: Yeah, well okay. See what we can do.

UFVIB: Dick, that white van’s back behind croquet court wall!

DA: (a string of nasal ejaculations followed by a quick barking sound) Okay, Tomski, gotta go. See you at the club on Friday!

UMC: (a grunting sound) Yeah. Okay. You owe me a drink!

(at this point the communication was ended)

October 24, 2009December 28, 2009About Us

Ed Roski Blowing Smoke for Ackerwoman

by The Fullerton Harpoon3 Comments

Well, we predicted the presence of Ed Roski in the campaign for the 72nd Assembly District, here. Roski has made a fortune in commercial real estate, not to mention controlling the dubious City of Industry – a Redevelopment Valhalla – as his personal fiefdom.

Chris Norby has been a staunch foe of Redevelopment abuse, and has singled out both the City of Industry as well as its attempt to swipe an NFL team (to play in a stadium that dodged full environmental review – courtesy of the legislature) for scrutiny; so Roski’s participation in the election seemed a forgone conclusion.

Furthermore, Team Ackerman, Inc. has a well-documented history of supporting Redevelopment boondoggles and misuse, including building a football stadium at CSUF for a non-existant team, and then underwriting a losing fundraising campaign for it.

A late expenditure report by our parasitical pals at The Alliance for California’s Tomorrow shows that Roski dumped $25,000 into their committee this week. The expenditures are for “data” and “printing,” so presumably a mailer is on the way.

What’s curious is that the expenditure is that it is designated as “for” Linda Ackerman, whereas we had assumed Roski was going to be the designated hitter against Norby – so that the Ackerwoman could keep her mitts clean. That theory was undermined when Ackerwoman had to do the dirty work herself in her disgraceful mailer about the bogus sexual harassment suit. The fact that Roski is weighing in now – but not specifically “against” Norby – might indicate that he’s seen some polling numbers and doesn’t really want to offend Assemblyman Norby, but needs to show the flag, at least. But we merely speculate.

What’s also curious about the expenditure is the timing. Thousands of absentee ballots have already been returned. Why did Roski wait so long to kick in? Desperation by Team Ackerman, Inc.? Who knows?

When we get the mailer, we’ll share the contents.

In the meantime maybe our Undercover Surveillance Unit has picked up on a conversation between Dick and Ed. If so, we’ll keep you posted.

October 23, 2009December 29, 2009Arts & Architecture

God-awful “Fox Village” Gets Even Worse!

by The Fullerton Harpoon13 Comments

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWTXt0TRkQ

Remember those horror movies when the outraged villagers grabbed their pitchforks to have at the monster? What the “Fox Village” monster could use are a few more angry villagers.

At the City Council “workshop” on Tuesday the new plans for the existing city-created empty space behind the Fox Theater were rolled out. And while the reception by the public wasn’t pretty it wasn’t enough to kill off the monster, either.

What was rolled out were several elevations that raised the curtain on a hideously confused jumble of themes and materials that were supposed to be modernish, but that had that certain flavor of architectural renderings done by crazy people.

A hodgepodge of shapes and veneers with no apparent cohesion and not a whiff of aesthetic originality. Stone veneer on the first floor obligatory.

Have Fox Villagers gone insane? What a mish mash!

Why are they still trying to move McDonald’s? Didn’t the Council put that idea to rest? And yet here it is again! Can anyone say “insubordination”? Guess not – in Fullerton! And look a parking lot on the corner. Just what downtown needs – another permanent hole in the building fabric of downtown Fullerton.

Ah, the inevitable “pedestrian paseo.” Just lookit all the happy, bedazzled consumers. And that fountain! Precious. Makes you want to make a wish and toss three coins in.

Folks if you aren’t ready to go grab your pitchforks by now, we suggest that we stick a fork in you – because we think you’re done.

October 23, 2009October 23, 2009Arts & Architecture

New Parking Structure Approved. More Brick Veneer in Our Future

by The Fullerton Harpoon8 Comments

On Tuesday our City Council took up the matter of the proposed parking structure on Santa Fe. Since we first reported on this issue City Staff has maintained its ludicrous attachment to the brick veneer panels, and its equally ludicrous position that fake brick somehow satisfies some sort of CEQA requirement – even though WE HAVE COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED THE MYTH OF BRICK AND REALITY OF BRICK VENEER IN DOWNTOWN FULLERTON.

Such a lame approach insults not only our aesthetic sensibilities, but it also turns the whole environmental review process into a pantomime that just provides staff cover for what it really wants: fake brick.

CONSIDER THIS: THE MONEY SAVED BY ELIMINATING THE USELESS BRICK COULD GO TO ESTABLISHING SOLAR PANELS ON THE BUILDING AND ENHANCING ITS SUSTAINABILITY QUOTIENT.

October 21, 2009October 21, 200972nd Election

Barney Wewak Weighs In

by The Fullerton Harpoon5 Comments

Papuan Headman Barney Wewak shares FFFF with tribe — Barney Wewak shares FFFF news with family and friends

Editor’s Note: we have received the following e-mail from former Troy High School Exchange student, and Papuan Highlands tribe Headman, B’rni (Barney) Wewak. Our newly reorganized Australo/Oceania Linguistics Department provides the translation from the original Papuan Sepik dialect, below:

Greetings Friends who dwell in the beneficent sunshine and balmy temperatures of my once adopted home; where the luscious flesh of the avocado and the generous disposition of your women make me long for reunion. Tidings have reached me that one of your headmen has been disgraced (it could only have been through extreme cowardice in battle, or failure to meet his taro quota), has been exiled, and is being replaced by your odd and barbaric custom of “election.”

Furthermore, I understand that among the new candidates for headman is a member from a tribe located on the idolatrous shores of Fashion Island who is trying to pass as one of your own! Moreover, that this interloper is bribing tribe members with promises of bright feathers and glass beads!

Glass beads and cockatoo feathers for all. Plus a gift card good at Fashion Island!

Friends, how can this possibly be? Strange and sad news! That the people of my beloved Fullerton could entertain such perverse behavior from an outsider is certainly an omen of terrible times of trouble ahead.

And so I must exhort and plead with all the earnestness at my command to reject this alien influence in your midst before you become enslaved in the strange and perverse ways of these outsiders.

And so, Friends, farewell. May your benevolent deities continue to bless you with ample mangoes and confused enemies; and may the tree bark grubs fall easily into your banana leaves.

B’rni (Barney) Wewak

Troy HS ’75

October 19, 2009October 20, 2009About Us

Irony: Ackerwoman Complains About Norby Mailer

by The Fullerton Harpoon6 Comments

I lie about him and he tells the truth about me. That's not fair!

Too funny! Our inside sources tell us that Ackerwoman has filed an ethics complaint to the GOP Central Committee about a Norby flier supposedly tying her to her husband’s budget deals in Sacto.

Since Ackerwoman is tied at the hip to her husband Ackerman, it seems like a fairly reasonable association to make. After all, she was handsomely paid to raise funds for his campaigns so presumably she believed in the product she was pitching.

What’s really comical is that Ackerwoman has the nerve to show her mug in public at all after the scurrilous hit piece that she put out on Norby, let alone complain about “ethics”! The bogus piece she mailed out will no doubt earn her a cross-complaint when the Central Committee Ethics Committee next meets, as will the fact that she isn’t even living in the district where she only recently registered to vote.

Hypocrisy, deceit, dishonor, egotism, power fetish – the list just goes on and on. Who dug up these wretched people?

October 15, 2009January 4, 2010Behind Closed Doors

Chris Meyer; Local Hero? Hardly.

by The Fullerton Harpoon22 Comments

If you don't watch out, I'll take the credit... — If you don't watch out, I may take your wallet, too!

In case any of you Friends happened to come across this 10/12/09 blog post in The Register, by Teri Sforza, you might have come away with the idea that Fullerton City Manager Chris Meyer was the white knight who came to Fullerton taxpayer’s rescue last year when the unions proposed to increase their retirement formula.

The usually healthy skepticism of Ms. Sforza seems to have been suspended in her conversations with Chris Meyer. He fooled her into thinking that he was the fiscally responsible official who put a stop to the craziness.

Wrong! That person was Councilman Shawn Nelson – who the blew the whistle on Meyer & Co., who had been trying for months to push the deal through quietly, behind closed doors. The poor public suckers who are ultimately on the hook weren’t supposed to know what was going on, so the agenda items were not described. It was only after Nelson went public with the news that a pension spike was on the way, and Steve Greenhut of the Register brought wider scrutiny to the secret plan, that it was ultimately dropped. The fact that the market had really tanked by then helped.

For Meyer to try to grab the credit a year later is pretty low. Especially when he was one of the prime architects of the plan. He must think we have real short memories. Here’s your real hero:

Ultimately the credit goes to Nelson for the fortunate turn of events. For Meyer to take credit for any of this is just laughable.

October 13, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

MWD Abandons Pension Spike; Jim Blake Off The Hook

by The Fullerton HarpoonLeave a comment

aqueduct

Yesterday the MWD General Manager abandoned the proposed pension jump for employees that would have raised their retirement formula. Here’s the story. He conceded that the votes weren’t there. Which means, of course, that a vote was held, only not in public. Somehow that seems like it should be illegal – Brown Act-wise, but of course government bureaucracies are legally incapable of committing any sort of crime.

We’re disappointed because a public vote would have put our MWD Board Appointee-for-life, Jim Blake on the spot.

The time was not ripe... — There to make the tough decisions, right?

All of his public employee lovin’ instincts would have pointed Blake in the direction of approval; under normal circumstances his pension-spiking Council overlords (and ladies) Bankhead, Quirk-Silva, Keller, and Jones would no doubt have backed him up. Who cares if water rates go up, right?

But these are not normal times, what with militant Republicans agitating for tax revolt and special elections putting the spotlight on people like MWD Boardmember Linda Ackerman – who also gets to dodge the responsibility of the vote. Very convenient!

Back in August it looked like a real good idea...

And the union members will never have the opportunity to know how their buddies would have voted.

With the light of public scrutiny shining on the usually opaque doings of the MWD, the whole thing has collapsed like a house of cards.

October 12, 2009December 28, 2009About Us

Sharon Kennedy Attempts to Dump on FFFF; Instead Soils Self Badly

by The Fullerton Harpoon7 Comments

Yellowing Sub torpedoes self. Again. Still no bottom in sight.

In the latest dreary edition of her yellowing Fullerton Observer, editor and almost entirely irrelevant City Hall shill, Sharon Kennedy, tries to smear FFFF and our law suit against the City’s fraudulent redevelopment expansion.

Once again we are “discredited;” why? Oh that’s right: we are sick of idiots like Dick Jones getting re-elected with the complicity of Sharon Kennedy, and we attempted to do something about it by using the donkey’s own braying.

You are very repulsive. And discredited, too.

Of course Kennedy drags in the hated Chris Norby, who is not even a party to the law suit. She tries to dismiss our attorney Robert Ferguson (“serial anti-redevelopment lawyer”- you know like serial murderer, serial rapist, etc.) and even drags in Howard Ahmanson, whom none of us have ever even talked to, and even Ahmanson’s dead father! She left out Idi Amin, Adolf Hitler, Father Coughlin, Howard Jarvis, and the Ku Klux Klan, but just give her time. There was only one factual statement in the whole embarrassing plop: FFFF is suing the City.

At the end of her screed Kennedy extrudes this priceless string of turds:

Unfortunately, though the city is expected to win the suit, the action will set back plans for needed improvements and cost the city money to litigate.

Really Sharon? How about a little reporting instead of your usual brainless editorializing? Who says the city is expected to win? Are you aware of Ferguson’s record? Who says “plans” will be set back? What plans? Where are they? Of what do they consist? Who says it will cost the city money to litigate? They’re “expected to win,” right?

Sharon, is it too much to hope that you will ever extract your cranium from its lodging place?

The hole may be shallower than anyone suspected — The hole may be a lot shallower than anyone ever suspected

October 12, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

Apparently Linda Ackerman Never Took Carpetbagging 101

by The Fullerton Harpoon2 Comments

If there were such a course for ambitious district hopping politicians, one of the basic lessons taught would surely be to learn the boundaries of your would-be district. It’s only polite, after all.

Okay. Linda Ackerman is a political socialite carpetbagger from Irvine, and can’t be expected to know the exact boundaries of the 72nd State Assembly District – the one she doesn’t live in. But, still, this has got to take the cake:

Ackerman Screw Up

An Ackerman sign in Santa Ana’s City Place? News flash, Linda – Santa Ana is not in the 72nd District! Next time you run for office in a district in which you do not live, at least take the time to learn the cities in the district.

And thanks to Art Pedroza over at the Orange Juice blog who posted on this and helpfully provided the image.