Sad Clowns and Whiny Bitches

There isn’t much worse in this world than a sad clown.

I feel for this clown. Something bad happened to him. He’s a clown! He’s supposed to be happy. He’s not. Clearly this is wrong. This is not his natural state.

One could say the same thing about a man. A man who’s not in his natural state is a sad thing to behold. He’s supposed to be something. He’s supposed to exude something.  For some men it’s confidence. For others, it’s strength. For a few men, it’s hope or inspiration. Whatever it is, a man’s natural state is something good.

Whatever it is, be you.

Celebrate.

Unless you’re a whiny little bitch.

In that case, put down the microphone. Go home, lock the door, and let the world pass you by until you grow a spine.

Common signs of being a whiny little bitch:

  1. You cry when you get your ass kicked
  2. You complain about the rules when you get your ass kicked
  3. You call people names after getting your ass kicked
  4. Most importantly, you refuse to admit it’s your fault your ass got kicked

Enter everyone’s favorite recently recalled California State Senator, Josh Newman. The LA Times published a piece today highlighting some pretty obvious confirmations of whinybitchitus plaguing the defunct politician. Read it. You really ought to know what you’re paying this guy to do now that he’s been fired.

To sum up, Josh Newman didn’t just get beat last week. He got destroyed. After months of delays and millions of dollars spent, he was recalled by a margin of nineteen points.

Nineteen.

That’s the political equivalent of taking a straight left to the chin and landing flat on your back 10 seconds after a fight begins. Ding-a-ling! No refunds.

So, let’s see how Mr. Newman did against the FFFF Whiny Bitch Test.

CRYING: “Newman accused his opponents of ‘defamatory lies,’ trespassing on his property and making threats against his wife and child.”  Check.

COMPLAINING: “Rather a series of loopholes in the recall process has been mined and exploited, a sort of hacking of our government code.” Check. (Incidentally, it’s the Constitution you jackass, not the government code.)

NAME CALLING: “It saddens me colleagues, Republican colleagues, that despite all your nice sotto voce words, not a single one of you had the integrity, the decency or the courage  to say this is wrong…” Check Plus. (Bonus points for Latin name calling.)

And most importantly, REFUSING TO ADMIT FAULT: “You sat idly by fellow members, some of you,” he said, adding some “actively abetted this abuse. This is an abrogation of your solemn obligation under the oath that you took.”

No, Mr. Newman. It’s an abrogation of your oath. You swore to represent the will of the people you represent. You swore to protect the Constitution of the Great State of California. You! You did this. This is your fault and no one else’s. Not Republicans, not gobblins, not chupacabra. Just you.

You failed, so we threw your ass out of office. By nineteen points.  So check-check-check-check, #whinybitchconfirmed.

Go home, Mr. Newman.  Stop crying.  Stop complaining.  Stop name calling.  And stop pretending this isn’t your fault. The very least you owe the people you serve after ducking justice for 10 months is to ride your rail out of town with a little bit of respect.

Even a sad clown has his dignity. You can, too.

Chronic Failure Fullerton BooHoo Liar Setting The Bar Low The Cost of Defeat Victory

6 thoughts on “Sad Clowns and Whiny Bitches

  1. My name is Josh Newman and I blame everybody except myself for everything bad that has happened to myself.

  2. You would think that a loss this big would cause at least a tiny bit of introspection.

    Nah. Blame everyone else.

  3. Newman said one thing to his constituents before the Primary to get into the run off with Chang. Then he kept spewing his bs rhetoric to the constituents in his district, but was already cutting deals with Kevin Daleo and Jerry Brown at the same time continued lying to his constituents. You sadsack lying coward Newman, you deserve what you got – now go rot in hell!

    Great post, !

  4. the voters have spoken….really…The voter was duped? He is insulting the public majority. I think the public knows exactly why they voted him out grossly indulgent taxes on top of surplus….because they could… at least they thought so. he duped himself by thinking he could hide in the shadows vote smugly along with his coleages and forget about who he represents…. a thin majority for our district. This be a good lesson to other politicians about gross misbehavior in high places. Mr. Newman… please don’t jaywalk in Fullerton at our city functions it makes me wonder if you are above the law?

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