Yes, Friends, our Mobile Surveillance squad is ever vigilant. This time they tapped into another Dick Ackerman phone conversation, this time with none other than Matthew Cunningham, all-purpose GOP fawner and current dilemma possessor: with John Lewis working for Chris Norby and Dick Ackerman working for Dick’s wife, poor Matthew has to tread a fine line. In his efforts to offend nobody he may very well up offending both sides as a brutal showdown looms.
The following is a possible transcript of the phone conversation. You may believe it or not, depending on how gullible you are.
Cunningham: Hello, Pacific Strategies…
Ackerman: (snorting sound) Cunningham, Dick Ackerman here.
C: Well, hello Senator. How was Linda’s fundraising party in Sacramento the other…
A: Forget about that. (snorting sounds) I’ve got a problem and you need to help me. That SOB Norby’s got Bushala and that blog of his attacking my wife.
C: Yes, I know. That Bushala is so fringe. He’s really a lunatic.
A: (growling sound) Shut up and listen. You need to write a blog attacking those FFFF sonsofbitches, you got that?
C: Well, sure. It’ll be my pleasure! I owe that Bushala good. He called me Fart Boy-
A: Heh. heh-heh. Fart Boy. That’s pretty good (multiple snorting and grunting sounds) Good, get on it now. They’re trying to make Linda look bad, like a carpetbager.
C: Don’t worry about that Senator. We’re going to bury that issue. Nobody cares where you live.
A: (a faint snarling sound) We live in Fullerton you little rat, and don’t forget it!
C: Yes, yes, of course. You’re sharing a house with that doctor.
A: (a distinct snarling sound) Who told you that?
C: (barely audible) I dunno, Sir. Guess I picked it up somewhere.
A: You heard it from Lewis. I’ll get him later. Now it’s its that bastard Norby’s turn (more snarls). By the way why haven’t you written anything bad about him?
C: Well, Senator, you see he and Linda are both my good friends and…
A: (multiple low growl sounds) Cut the crap Cunningham. Norby doesn’t have any friends. You’d better fly right, boy, or you’re gonna be real sorry. And what’s this horseshit about your wife running for that Clerk job? I’ve already endorsed someone, goddam it! Nugent. Nuggie (snorting sounds). Something like that.
C: Um…you see…that is…
A: More bullshit from Lewis! Okay. Side up, kid. Decide whose team you’re on. And prove it by writing one of those blog things you do. Hit ’em hard.
C: Yes, Sir! By the way if your car needs washing or if you’ve got cleanning to pick up I’ll be happy to take…
(sound of Ackerman hanging up)
At this point we lost contact with the participants in the conversation.