72nd Assembly District Pre-ballot Mail-Out Recap: What We Know About Linda Ackerman

Isn't being a "proud grandmother" enough?
Isn't being a "proud grandmother" enough?

UPDATE: as absentee ballots roll in we thought it would be a useful public service to republish our run down about what we know about Linda Ackerman. If you haven’t voted please read, or read again. If you have already voted have fun reading it anyway. 

We’ve been reading up on our would-be 72nd Assembly District representative, Linda Ackerman, of Irvine. We’ve done some digging, too, and have perused her website. We have had quite a bit of fun shredding the supposed testimonials by endorsers, statements so false that they hardly needed debunking.

Now, with only a month (Ed. now three weeks) to go before the Special Election primary, and with absentee ballots soon to be landing in mailboxes we have decided to do a recap of the territory we have covered. Consider it a public service.

  • Linda Ackerman is a carpetbagger who has lived in a gated community in Irvine for ten years.
  • The Ackermans have “rented” a fraudulent address on Lindendale, in Fullerton to meet the minimum enforceable election law, even though it is a violation of the State Constitution.
  • Despite her campaign claims of being an “experienced businesswoman” she has provided no evidence to substantiate that claim. She does sit on the Board of a collection agency whose clients are organized as Sacramento lobbyists.
  • She created an operation called the Pacific Policy Research Foundation, a putative “charitable” corporation; a dodge whose sole purpose is to provide politicians a free trip to Hawaii to be lobbied by big business interests.
  • She has received at least two $3900 contributions from bogus political campaign “slush funds,” including that of her own husband.
  • She was paid $76,000 by her own husband’s campaign as a “consultant.”
  • She is responsible for perhaps the sleaziest campaign mailer seen since her own husband ran for the Assembly in 1995.
  • She has zero record on any issues. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

In sum, Mrs. Ackerman is a cipher, a virtual non-entity, trading on her husband’s name and hoping to succeed by raising enough money from her Sacramento pals to smear her opponent but good. And there you have it.

We will add as an addendum that it became clear during the Dave Lopez Mike Duvall/Linda Ackerman story that Dick Ackerman “speaks for his wife.” And that blatant puppetry ought to give any conscientious citizen cause to pause, especially when we learn that Ackerman is regarded as Mike Duvall’s “political godfather.”

And the desperate hit pieces on Chris Norby by Ackerman, Inc. and its big business and Redevelopment abuser surrogates has not only gotten slimier, but incessant. A new generation of North Orange Countians now knows how low Team Ackerman will go to keep its grubby mitts on power. Any power at all, really. 

Well, the voters have a clear choice. And in a democracy you always get the kind of representation you deserve!

Another Day, Another Phone Call

Van
Oh, no. Not again!

Following hot on the heels of their last snagged conversation between Dick Ackerman and his various high-minded associates, we have received this sparkling gem from our Undercover Surveillance Unit.

It appears to be a conference call between Dick Ackerman and two of Repuglican OCs minor water bearers, Adam Probolsky and Matthew Cunningham. It is so unbelievable that we will obviously forgive you Friends for treating it as fiction, but here goes, anyway.

It's all coming together...another term in Sacramento!
It's all coming together...another term in Sacramento!

(Cunningham and Ackerman were already conversing when the interception began. A faint ringing sound is heard in the background)

Dick Ackerman: (snort) You missed the rear tires again.

Matt Cunningham: Sorry, sir. Thought I got them. Won’t happen again.

DA: (grunting noise) Yeah, well it better not…and use Armor All next time…

(ringing stops)

Adam Probolsky: Hey there, Senator. So glad I could join –

DA: (guttural sounds) Shut up and listen Problobsky. Your girlfriend has already got me into plenty of hot water. That shit with Jones Day isn’t going to be free.

AP: I’ll tell you what –

DA: (bark) No, you’re done talking, putz. Clam up. You’re almost as bad as that donkey Fleischman.

AP: Sorry, sir I just –

( a low grade snarl, unattributable)

DA: That asshole Lacy did a poll. Showed Linda down by ten. We go down, you go down. Now get your fat ass out there and refute it. And you, you –

MC: Me? Yessir?

DA: Your job is to screw with that FFFF operation and Bushala. That bastard is putting up signs attacking me. I mean attacking Linda. Nobody attacks me. It can’t be legal. They’re making me look bad. Making Linda look bad. Making us look bad. (several low growls and a snort). Ughhhmmmmph.

MC: He’s fringe. Crazy. I really hate him. I hate his guts.

AP: He’s a terrrorist. They all are, you know.

DA: Shut up, Plobrosky. What are you still doing on the line? You’ve got your assignment now get lost.

(a distinct clicking sound) 

MC: Anything else you want me to do, sir?

DA: (snarl) I want you to start going after Norby, goddammit!

MC: Okay….well…its hard…I mean. I haven’t endorsed him…

DA: (several growls)Nobody gives a rat’s ass about your punk endorsement. Just take a shit on him every day.

MC: Well, I’m trying, but you see, John is telling me the same thing, so –

DA: Don’t play hard ball with me you little (unintelligible). If I go down you’re coming along, too see, just like Porbolsky and Fleischberg. And all that Carona shit may come out, too. You and all your little…(loud sound of exhalation).  And don’t forget to shut up that Bartlett piece of crap. Thinks he’s so goddam pure and self-righteous. (growling sound)

MC: Well, we’ve been deleting some of his posts and Chip has –

DA: (muffled sounds of indeterminate origin) Shut him up. Now. I’ll take care of him but good after I win. So go after Bushala. Make him look bad. (several quick grunts)

MC: Well, it’s a little hard – he doesn’t seem to care what I say about him. He’s crazy.

DA: Goddamit, call him a liar and a crook. I don’t give a shit. Use some big words. Goddam Jones Day. Worthless. Can’t count on anybody. All out to get me. (a muffled snarl)

MC: Okay, sir. I’ll keep up the pressure. We really need Linda.

DA: Who? Oh, yeah. Right. Now start blogging or your gravy train’s gonna come to a screeching halt, you got it?

MC: Yessir!

DA: And next time get the tires right or I’ll let Fleischman do it.

Still Reeling From Methane Intoxication Fart Boy Can’t Clear Head

How come when I let fly with a salvo nobody salutes?
How come when I let one fly nobody salutes?

Over at his dreary and deserted Repuglican blog  Brown Klownty, minor grade GOPer lackey and Fart Boy Matt Cunningham accused FFFF of violating campaign finance laws. He showed pictures of NO ACKERMAN IRVINE CARPETBAGGER signs that he got from our site.

First, thanks Jerbal for the additional publicity for our blog; and also to the cause of running Ackerwoman out of Fullerton and back to Irvine. Oh, wait. We can’t do that BECAUSE THE STUPID CARTOON CUTOUT NEVER LEFT IRVINE!

I resemble that remark!
I resemble that remark!

What a maroon. It pleased Fart Boy to accuse FFFF of not making the necessary reporting on expenditures over a thousand dollars. First it doesn’t seem to have occurred to him that you can make signs for a lot less that he may imagine. But since he has no idea how many signs were even made he’s just making up shit and tossing it around again. Pretty low for the self-described model of character and virtue, but that’s the business he’s in.

The absolute funniest part is how he assumed that it was FFFF who failed to do the reporting! He portentously linked to the FFFF page at the Secretary of State’s website. It may come as a surprise to this pin head but the FFFF IE isn’t spending a dime in this election!

Not Quite Gone and Hardly Forgotten: Steve Greenhut Goes After Ackerman, Inc.

Our old amigo Steve Greenhut has taken a job up north in Sacramento to untangle some of the worst of California’s governmental pathologies, but he still writes an occasional piece for the OC Register. It obviously has not been lost on Steve that the current battle for the 72nd Assembly District is a pretty good symbol of an attempt by the entrenched GOP old guard to hold on to their influence and money apparatus – and that ties directly to the mess in Sacramento.

Over the week-end Greenhut dropped a devastating editorial scud on the Ackerman, Inc. machine that was both informative and entertaining. Read Steve’s piece here.

It first appeared as a small shadow from overhead...
It first appeared as a small shadow from overhead...

The OC Repugs don’t like the antiseptic light of day shining on their doings, so one can only imagine the consternation Greenhut’s editorial has caused. And they also don’t like their ideology questioned by anybody. Ideology is their purview, see, by which they whip up the stupider ranks of the rank and file and get them mobilized. But that’s mostly window dressing. When in office the ‘Pugs like to settle in and start milking their cash cow for all it’s worth.

It's so beautiful it just brings a tear to Dick's eye...
It's so beautiful it just brings a tear to Dick's eye...

Just a Lie. Or Two. Or Three. Or…

I grew my business in Fullerton! Well maybe it was carrots in the back yard. I know I grew something!
I grew my business in Fullerton! Well maybe it was carrots in the back yard. I seem to remember growing something in Fullerton!

We’ve already documented that Linda Ackerwoman is not, never has been (and probably never will be a “businesswoman”). And yet, here is her ballot designation:

I know, let's start our campaign off with two lies!
I know, let's start our campaign off with two lies!

Okay, the businesswoman thing is a bald-faced lie. Being a “consultant” to your husband’s political campaign is a great way to shift campaign contributions into your own pockets, but it hardly constitutes a business. Which leads to the second lie: “independent.” She is most certainly not independent. She has apparently never worked for anybody but her husband as a fund-raiser. That means she’s tied at the hip to all those lobbyists who put that $76,000 in her pocket. Not to mention all those lobbyists that facilitated the Hawaiian vacations – who laundered dough through a laughably named “Pacific Policy Research Foundation.” She’s about as independent as a barnacle stuck to the bottom of a boat.

It really makes you wonder about those people who have endorsed Ackerwoman, knowing that she’s about as much of a businesswoman as Daisy Duck.

Being a two dimensional cartoon is hard work!
Being a two dimensional cartoon is hard job. But is it a business?

Oh, that’s right! Those endorsers are also well aware that she doesn’t live in the district either. That tells you what kind of people they are. And come to think of it, that makes three lies!

FFFF Surveillance Team Snags Another Ackerman Call

 
Thye're back!
Yup. They're back!

Well they have done it again. Or at least they told us they did. Our crack Undercover Surveillance Unit has sent in a transcript of another intercepted Dick Ackerman phone conversation, this time with an unidentified male communicant. We are not sure exacly what to make of this transcript and we are cognizant that the surveillance team had just been issued its monthy medicinal marijuana supply. So we simply pass the transcript along to the Friends, who would be damn fools to believe it.

Heh heh. Remember the ferrets?
Heh heh. Remember the steamroom?

(Phone ringing)

Unidentified Male Communicant: Yes, hello.

Dick Ackerman: Tomski, Dick Ackerman here. (two quick grunts followed by a snort)

UMC: The Dickster! (unintelligible guttural sound)

DA: Booga, Booga!

UMC: Alpha Kappa

DA: Alpha Kappa Chi!

UMC: Grab some titties,

DA: Shoot some beaver,

UMC: I Eta Pi! (three or four grunts in quick succession) Heh. Heh heh.

DA: (Several snorting sounds and a distinct throat clearing) Heh heh heh.

UMC: What’s up Dickie-boy?

DA: (a grunt) Got some trouble up north with a punk reporter and a coupla pissant bloggers. Got a girl in trouble.

UMC: The Dickster! Oh yeah! Still got it! (two deep grunts). Heh heh.

DA: Not like that you idiot. More Duvall shit. God I wished I’d never talked that asshole into running. (a low, long rumbling sound)

Unidentified Female Voice In Background: She’s works so hard!

UMC: Uhhhmm…what do you want me to do?

DA: A coupla letters, heh heh. Pin some ears back, heh, heh, heh. The usual.

UMC: (a long rumbling throaty noise). Ahhh. Look Dickie-boy the suits back east are getting a little hung up on all this pro bono stuff. So…

DA: (a quick snarl) No, you look Tomski. We go back a long way. Remember the trouble with that senorita in Vallejo? And that little side deal during the Swindell merger? And the steam room. Remember the steam room, Tomski?

UMC: That was thirty-five years ago!

DA: Thirty-seven. But what’s a coupla years between old friends?

UMC: Ughhh.Ughhhh. Well…ughhh…

DA: Good. So we can count you in. Knew we could. I’ll fax over the dope. Get on it! (a grunt)

UMC: Yeah, well okay. See what we can do.

UFVIB: Dick, that white van’s back behind croquet court wall!

DA: (a string of nasal ejaculations followed by a quick barking sound) Okay, Tomski, gotta go. See you at the club on Friday!

UMC: (a grunting sound) Yeah. Okay. You owe me a drink!

(at this point the communication was ended)

Coming soon to your neighborhood...
Coming soon to your neighborhood...

God-awful “Fox Village” Gets Even Worse!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWTXt0TRkQ

Remember those horror movies when the outraged villagers grabbed their pitchforks to have at the monster? What the “Fox Village” monster could use are a few more angry villagers.

At the City Council “workshop” on Tuesday the new plans for the existing city-created empty space behind the Fox Theater were rolled out. And while the reception by the public wasn’t pretty it wasn’t enough to kill off the monster, either.

What was rolled out were several elevations that raised the curtain on a hideously confused jumble of themes and materials that were supposed to be modernish, but that had that certain flavor of architectural renderings done by crazy people.

Egad. What a freaking mess...
Egad. What a freaking mess...

A hodgepodge of shapes and veneers with no apparent cohesion and not a whiff of aesthetic originality. Stone veneer on the first floor obligatory.

Oy Vey!
Oy Vey!

Have Fox Villagers gone insane? What a mish mash!

Say what?
Say what?

Why are they still trying to move McDonald’s? Didn’t the Council put that idea to rest? And yet here it is again! Can anyone say “insubordination”? Guess not – in Fullerton! And look a parking lot on the corner. Just what downtown needs – another permanent hole in the building fabric of downtown Fullerton.

Send in the clowns...
Send in the clowns...

Ah, the inevitable “pedestrian paseo.” Just lookit all the happy, bedazzled consumers. And that fountain! Precious. Makes you want to make a wish and toss three coins in.

Folks if you aren’t ready to go grab your pitchforks by now, we suggest that we stick a fork in you –  because we think you’re done.

Mike Carona’s Not Cheap Lawyers Threaten FFFF!

Your honor, I'd like to abridge the First Amendment!
Your honor, I'd like to abridge the First Amendment! By the way, are you going to finish the rest of that soda?

Last night we received an e-mailed letter from Jones Day, the same lawyers that miraculously worked on convicted criminal ex-Sheriff Mike Carona’s defense for free.

The letter demands that we remove the post we published about KCAL’s Dave Lopez pursuing a story concerning a former Mike Duvall associate at Linda Ackerman’s October 20th fundraiser at the Summit Inn.

Our post was about an event that occurred within Fullerton, our city. It’s on film. Thousands of people have seen it on television. It indisputably happened. It was of particular interest to us since Mr. Lopez also interviewed us at our protest at the site of the fundraiser; this fact was clearly related in the very first sentence of the post.

The post made it very clear that the behavior ascribed to the individual in question was merely alleged. We did not claim that it was true, since we did not know. Therefore Jones Day’s second demand – that we publish a retraction averring the falsity of the allegations – is a logical absurdity since we have no way of knowing that the allegations are false, either. We presume credible allegations were actually made since this story was aired by a reputable news operation.

But we will say this: the subject in question and her lawyers categorically deny the allegations reported by KCALs Dave Lopez.

This appears to be nothing more than a little intimidation orchestrated by Ackerman, Inc. itself, to keep people in Fullerton from knowing things that happen in Fullerton – much like the rest of  phony “Ackerman for Assembly” campaign. Is it merely a coincidence that the guy whose name on the Jones Day correspondence is an Irvine lawyer who just happens to have been at The Hastings School of the Law at the same time as Ackerman? Hmm.

We have caused nobody “serious and irreparable harm;” we have defamed nobody. If KCAL determines that this story has no basis and no merit then we will be happy to relate that, at the appropriate time.

jonesdayletter
Click to enlarge

New Parking Structure Approved. More Brick Veneer in Our Future

On Tuesday our City Council took up the matter of the proposed parking structure on Santa Fe. Since we first reported on this issue City Staff has maintained its ludicrous attachment to the brick veneer panels, and its equally ludicrous position that fake brick somehow satisfies some sort of CEQA requirement – even though WE HAVE COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED THE MYTH OF BRICK AND REALITY OF BRICK VENEER IN DOWNTOWN FULLERTON.

Such a lame approach insults not only our aesthetic sensibilities, but it also turns the whole environmental review process into a pantomime that just provides staff cover for what it really wants: fake brick.

pk with brickCONSIDER THIS: THE MONEY SAVED BY ELIMINATING THE USELESS BRICK COULD GO TO ESTABLISHING SOLAR PANELS ON THE BUILDING AND ENHANCING ITS SUSTAINABILITY QUOTIENT.

pk with no brick


Barney Wewak Weighs In

Papuan Headman Barney Wewak shares FFFF with tribe
Barney Wewak shares FFFF news with family and friends

Editor’s Note: we have received the following e-mail from former Troy High School Exchange student, and Papuan Highlands tribe Headman, B’rni (Barney) Wewak. Our newly reorganized Australo/Oceania Linguistics Department provides the translation from the original Papuan Sepik dialect, below:

 

Greetings Friends who dwell in the beneficent sunshine and balmy temperatures of my once adopted home; where the luscious flesh of the avocado and the generous disposition of your women make me long for reunion. Tidings have reached me that one of your headmen has been disgraced (it could only have been through extreme cowardice in battle, or failure to meet his taro quota), has been exiled, and is being replaced by your odd and barbaric custom of “election.” 

Furthermore, I understand that among the new candidates for headman is a member from a tribe located on the idolatrous shores of Fashion Island who is trying to pass as one of your own! Moreover, that this interloper is bribing tribe members with promises of bright feathers and glass beads!

Glass beads and cockatoo feathers for all. Plus a gift card good at Fashion Island!
Glass beads and cockatoo feathers for all. Plus a gift card good at Fashion Island!

Friends, how can this possibly be? Strange and sad news! That the people of my beloved Fullerton could  entertain such perverse behavior from an outsider is certainly an omen of terrible times of trouble ahead.

And so I must exhort and plead with all the earnestness at my command to reject this alien influence in your midst before you become enslaved in the strange and perverse ways of these outsiders.

And so, Friends, farewell. May your benevolent deities continue to bless you with ample mangoes and confused enemies; and may the tree bark grubs fall easily into your banana leaves.

B’rni (Barney) Wewak

Troy HS ’75