The Fullerton Harpoon, Author at Friends For Fullerton's Future

November 26, 2009November 26, 2009About Us

Harpoon Thanksgiving Message

We received the following cell phone message from The Fullerton Harpoon who is currently on a fishing trawler in the vicinity of the Sea of Japan and, apparently, has no computer access.

Dear Friends, Happy Thanksgiving. Some of you may wonder what an old, crusty, salt-bitten sea gherkin like the Harpoon is thankful for (some of you may not, and may not care). I am thankful for being part of a society in which I can hurl my outrageous barbs (i.e. my current working version of the truth) at powers-that-be, and not get locked up;

I am thankful for having a bunch of fertile words and ideas bequeathed to me by people a lot smarter than I am, who happily deigned to bestow their gifts, Bodhisattva-like on the rest of us;

I am thankful for our Friends – a rare few who are able to view the socio-political terrain, and realize that we can do better – a lot better, and who are not terrified by the thought of criticizing the Chimps in Charge.

I am thankful for all the inert Clumps in the dead, sterile center, who peer out to the fertile, incubatorial edges of their paltry weltanshauung and start to sweat yellow fear pellets; for without them we fringers would have no frame of reference ourselves.

And so, from the cold, green-grey waters of the Sea of Japan, I wish one and all of the Friends a Happy Thanksgiving.

And a Happy Flounderday to you, Harpoon!

November 24, 2009November 24, 2009About Us

A Fringer Image Gallery

by The Fullerton Harpoon12 Comments

Here are some famous fringers who did not live in Fullerton.

Socrates - the original finger. — Socrates - the original fringer.

Peter Abelard was pretty damn fringy, and so was his girlfriend, Heloise.

Old Mark tried real hard to fit it, but at heart he was a true fringer — Old Mark tried real hard to fit in, but at heart he was a true fringer

In an era of propt-repuglican dead heads, H.L. Menken liked beer and Bach. A real fringy dude. — In an era of proto-repuglican dead heads, H.L. Menken liked beer and Bach. A real fringy dude.

Here Finge looking decidedly feminine... — Here, fringe looking decidedly feminine...

November 20, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

The Highlight of the 72nd Primary Election

by The Fullerton Harpoon16 Comments

Dear Friends, we have received the following e-mail from Joe Sipowicz:

The last couple of months have been a lot of fun for me as I followed the doings in the 72nd Special Election primary. This was really the first time I have paid close attention to a state election, and boy was it an eye-opener. I guess enough has been said about the triumph of substantive record versus hollow slogans, mendacity, self-serving corruption, seemingly bottomless pots of money, and an outright lie of a residency.

beer

My favorite part of the whole episode came when FFFF published a post on the Dave Lopez appearance at the Ackerman party at the Summit House and was subsequently notified by some huge law firm (Jones Day) that FFFF would be in big trouble if you didn’t remove it and cook up some cowardly “retraction” of simple facts. It was a pretty obvious case of harassment orchestrated by Ackerman himself.

You did not give in. Instead you left the post up and essentially told the Ackerman campaign and its running dogs to shove the crap right back up where it came from. I think you deserve a lot of credit for that. And I wonder how many of the sniveling centro-sphere pin heads who love to throw around the word ‘”cowardly” would have caved in to that sort of intimidation attempt.

Anyway FFFF, my thanks for you efforts to keep the Ackermans out of Fullerton. I’m not even sure if you realize the great service you have perfomed – but thanks!

Thanks for the kind words, Joe.

November 19, 2009January 4, 2010Behind Closed Doors

County Counsel Fires Shot Across Fair Board Bow; Will Ackerman Get Hit?

by The Fullerton Harpoon8 Comments

Heh, heh. Nothing beats money and influence...

We’ve been tracking the Sell the Fair (To Us) Movement recently and noted that Dick Ackerman had already admitted to being hired by an insider Board cabal whose intent was to get the State to sell the Fair – to themselves.

A couple days ago word leaked out that the County had gotten into the act, possibly to forestall the sale of the Fair, and to own it themselves.

Attached is a copy of letter sent by the County’s top lawyer, Nick Chrisos, to the local Attorney General representative. You’ll notice that Chrisos spends no time fingering the Board and it’s lobbyist, Dick Ackerman. Chrisos wants the AGs office to open an investigation. Why? Because by the time the Board got around to hiring Ackerman’s law firm on July 29th 2009, to help pull and persuade the RFP, they had already hired them to create their non-profit “Foundation,” with the intent of buying the fair themselves. Apart from the evident open meeting and conflicts of interest, Chrisos wants to know about what public expenditures were made by the Fair Board to hire lawyers to work for the benefit of their own foundation.

POST UPDATE: Click here to download the Chrisos letter.

As they say: hilarity ensued. We’ve been told that the AG tossed the issue into the lap of the OC District Attorney. Why? Because the State AG represents the Fair Board! DA Tony Rackaukas has been signally dilatory in going after criminals who don’t have gang tatoos so we will have to wait to see what, if anything happens.

In the meantime, here are the Fair Board minutes of the meeting in question:

Check out the language of the motion: go hire “consultants” (Ackerman) to carry out the intent of the Governor and Legislation. What noble public servants! Let’s not fight it. Let’s work with the State!

But let’s not forget the troublesome little problem that Dick Ackerman himself has admitted: being involved with developing the enabling language in the budget bill in the first place. Whose idea was that? And who paid him for that? Hmm.

It’s very difficult to conceive of a scenario in which Ackerman is not involved in this little cabal right up to his eyeballs. Did he lobby the legislature first, and then the Governor’s office regarding the specifics of the RFP? If he did he broke the law since he hadn’t been out of the Legislature for a full year as State law requires. Ah, those pesky laws! Enforceable? Again that’s up to the DA to determine. We are not encouraged.

November 16, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

Martin Wisckol Passes Along Final Valentine To Ackerwoman

by The Fullerton Harpoon12 Comments

The other day the Register’s number two press agent for the Repug Machine, Martin Wisckol wrote what he no doubt hoped would pass as a species of objective reporting, here. Yet somehow it fails the smell test, as might have been predicted.

Notice how Wisckol equates Norby’s pointing out that Ackerwoman is a carpetbagger (true!) with her campaign’s libelous misuse of court transcripts in a case that was dismissed by an appellate court! Martin unhelpfully points out how Ackerwoman did live in the 72nd District for a long time – a long time ago; as if anybody thought that was germane to the fact that SHE LIVES IN IRVINE NOW!

Notice too, how Wisckol passes directly along, without a shred of skepticism that Ackerwoman is some sort of “well versed” authority on water issues (of course he diligently omits reference to her MWD vote last spring to raise commodity costs to local water retailers by 20%). Typical. We remember how he swallowed whole her lie about being a businesswoman, here, and then actually tried to explain away his apparent credulity as some sort of reporter’s strategy.

Wisckol permits a delicious quote from Ackerwoman about all the hordes of ethically upstanding Repuglican electeds who have endorsed her (including her own husband – say, Dick, how’s that Fair thing working out?) without any mention of Norby’s endorsements – by Tom McClintock, for instance – a real conservative who’s worth all of the Ackerwoman’s RINOs put together – and then some.

We could go on and on, but why bother.

Fortunately, we’ve only got one day to go. And hopefully after tomorrow Martin and Frank can go have their Friday drinkies with the head ‘Pugs at Gulfstream without having to worry about writing any more press releases.

Of course if there’s a crashing defeat for Ackerwoman they may not even be invited anymore.

November 12, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

Chamber Star Finally Weighs In on the 72nd

by The Fullerton Harpoon13 Comments

Ever since some of our critics chastised us for being unduly negative, we have sought contributions from folks who, well, just have a rosier outlook than we. So from time time we post stuff sent to us from our loyal follower “Chamber Star.” Today this individual shares his/her views on the 72nd Special Election Primary.

Election time is nearing! The 72nd State Assembly Special Election is at hand. Many people have already mailed in their absentee ballots and many others will do so soon.

A lot of unpleasant things have been said and done during this campaign and at least that will soon be over. But before it is I want to share my choice for the job: Linda Ackerman.

Why Linda? First because she seems like a real team-player, and not one of those mavericks who can’t get things done. When she says she is not defined by being a Republican she is giving a real signal that she wants to compromise and make deals with the opposition to get things done. And boy do we really need to get things done in California!

As a business person myself, I appreciate that she understands our problems. This site has been very critical of her lack of business experience, but I can tell you that not just anyone can sit on a board of directors, or be part of a non-profit organization. And being on the Board of the MWD is not easy either. It must take a tremendous amount of time to go through all that mountain of paperwork and analysis to make it run more like a business.

I believe Linda shares our values. As a replacement for Mike Duvall we need someone who brings those values to Sacramento. A lot has been made of the Ackermans mentoring Duvall in the first place, but I just don’t believe it. Good, honest people like the Ackermans don’t have anything to do with individuals like Duvall. On top of that Linda has never held office before so she represents a real change, and boy do we need change in California!

Some people have made an issue out of the fact that Linda’s husband is really calling the shots. I don’t know if he literally “speaks for her” but I’m not worried. I like the fact that we can have his vast experience, wisdom, and political connections “on call” as it were; we are really getting two well-connected and knowlegeable people for the price of one!

Finally I want to address (and dismiss) the charge of “carpetbagging” leveled against this fine woman. It’s true that she moved to Irvine and has rented an address in Fullerton, but who cares? If you wanted to hire someone to work for you, would you restrict yourself to only someone from your town? Of course not. You’d try to find the best person for the job – regardless of where they live – and put them to work ASAP. And Linda with her years of charity work and with the PTA in Fullerton before she moved out is just the person for the job.

Well, don’t just take my word for it. Check out all the voices of Linda’s endorsements from OCs best and brightest elected officials, men and women who have selflessly dedicated their lives to our betterment, and who have absolutely nothing to gain personally from an Ackerman victory.

When you add it all up, the choice is very clear, and I’m confident Team Fullerton will make it : Linda Ackerman for State Assembly!

November 10, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

Anti-Norby TV Ad Hits New Low

by The Fullerton Harpoon5 Comments

cash

Ed Roski is friends with many famous dead Americans

Although we haven’t seen it, Martin Wisckol at the Register has posted a youtube clip of a cable TV run ad that basically paints Norby as some sort of anti-feminist monster. The thing is so hyperventilated that it’s hard to believe anybody would take it seriously. It starts out with an image of Mike Duvall that morphs into Norby. Only problem is by now voters have a pretty good idea that it was Dick Ackerman who selected and groomed Duvall in the first place, and even that Norby supported his opponent.

Wisckol claims the ad has been paid for by an independent expenditure of as yet unknown origin.

A strong whiff of Ed Roski Jr. is emanating from this garbage. Since the Alliance for California’s Tumors has stopped its work, Roski has undoubtedly discovered a new conduit for his torrent of slime. But this crap is bound to backfire just like all the other Ackerman slime seems to have done.

Oh well. Only six days left.

November 9, 2009May 23, 201172nd Election

Business Ackerwoman and the MWD Board

by The Fullerton Harpoon2 Comments

I know all about water. We fly over a bunch of it on the way to Hawaii!

We have thoroughly and comprehensively debunked the campaign blather about Linda Ackerman being some sort of businesswoman. She’s not, of course. That’s just a lie, and almost as bad as her claim to be living in Fullerton. The sum and substance of her business experience seems to be calling up lobbyists to raise moolah for her husband Dick’s campaigns.

She doesn’t mention that in her resume, of course, because that wouldn’t look too good. Intead she shares the fact that she is on the board of a collection agency. And her campaign propaganda never fails to mention that she sits on the board of the Metropolitan Water District, an appointment no doubt orchestrated by her husband.

But let us reflect upon the MWD, a giant government entity that acts like a public utility but that in reality is an association of governments. We have already shared how Loophole Linda voted for a massive water rate hike last spring (oh no, not a tax, heaven forfend!). A recent editorial by the San Diego Union Tribune raises questions about the complete lack of leadership at the MWD – leadership the Ackerwoman is pitching as hard as she can. The SDUT notes that during the run -up to the now abandoned pension spike the MWD authorized a $100,000 contract with an operation called Marathon Communications to push the contract through; and a $300,000 contract with Agreement Dynamics to craft an agreement that would fly.

Think of it: $400,000 spent on consultants to create a deal and PR-ram it through. All at the expense of everybody at the end of the shower nozzle. And all wasted. Who agreed to all this? Good question. If the Board didn’t, then why didn’t they? If they did…

November 8, 2009December 28, 200972nd Election

Undercover Surveillance Unit Captures Strange Conversation

by The Fullerton Harpoon6 Comments

I'd sell my soul for a cold one right about now...

When we returned to the FFFF HQ today we noticed that somebody had been rummaging around in the medicine cabinet. Sure enough, some of our ritual mescaline had disappeared. And later today we received the following communication from the boys in the white, unmarked van, purporting to be yet another snagged Dick Ackerman telephone conversation. Although we know who the other communicant is (or claims to be) we have been unable to discover anything about this individual. If any of the Friends can help out we would certainly appreciate the assistance.

(phone ringing)

Dick Ackerman: (snort) Yeah, Ackerman here.

Louis Cyphere: Hello Richard. Louis Cyphere calling.

DA: Oh, Jesus.

LC: Come again?

DA: (Grunting sounds) Heh heh. Sorry, boss.

LC: Richard please stop making animal sounds. I want to know what’s been going on lately. You haven’t been in touch.

DA: Been busy. Trying to beat that bastard Norby. Need some more help. Things aren’t looking too good.

LC: Ah, Richard, they rarely do. But I’m wondering, well, you know, what’s in it for me?

DA: Hgpmph. Um. Well, Hell…

LC: Hmmm?

DA: I mean, you know…

LC: You see Richard, the thing of it is, I feel I’ve already pretty much optimized my investment in you and the missus, and I have so many political things on my plate right now.

DA: 72nd at stake. (grunting) Lots of possibilities in Sacramento.

LC: Yes, well, the 72nd was pretty much bought and paid for back in ’95. Surely you remember that arrangement.

DA: Ughmpmphh. Yeah, sure boss.

LC: Good. Well, the World Series is over and the Yanks have won again, so I suppose…what more do you want?

DA: Gotta shut down the blogs. That Bushala. Goddammit! Killing me. I mean killing us. I mean killing Linda! Phone calls, signs, blogthings, Goddamn signs. Right there on the way to Dolan’s house.

LC: Richard. No need to blaspheme. What do you want?

DA: (snarling sound and a low bark) Take him out. Accident. Overdose. Suicide. Something.

LC: Calm down now Richard. You know I can’t do that. Bushala, again? You mean our arrangement with Malcolm didn’t work out? I could try to cut a deal with him.

DA: Yeah. Heh. Heh heh. A deal (three quick grunts).

LC: Greek Orthodox?

DA: (undecipherable) What? Goddamit, that white van is out back behind the badminton courts.

LC: Never mind.

(at this point the telecommunication was cut off)

Author: The Fullerton Harpoon