This site, FFFF, has been my digital home off and on since I broke the news that Joe Felz committed his “wet and reckless” and ran over Poor Sappy McTree on 09 November 2016. In the 4+ years since that fateful post I have written over 180 posts under my own name and allegedly may have collaborated on some work with Lonnie Machin which led to this blog, David Curlee and myself getting sued.
I’ve made local friends, enemies and a lot in-between in that time and I regret very little of it. I’m not a hero in the story of FFFF as I’ve simply been another voice in a collection of malcontents who have worked to expose some of the corruption at City Hall and in/around Fullerton since this blog was founded circa 2008.
Contrary to some local speculation this isn’t my blog. I do not own it. I do not host or administer it. I do not write the content other than what I previously mentioned. I also try very hard to follow Wreck it Ralph’s first rule of the internet.
That said, my limited activity on here is coming to a close. The lawsuit used by the kleptocrats at City Hall to shield themselves from responsibility took a lot out of me. It was draining for me and my family and it cost me some friendships I’ll miss. Now that it’s all said and done I’ve decided to step away from FFFF as I’ve never really felt like I was a good fit for this place.
I’m too uncompromising. Too much of an ideologue. I’m just not very good at Team Sports and politicking. Because I don’t know who the anonymous bloggers are here at FFFF, it makes it impossible for me to work with them which likewise makes it impossible to share a vision or goals. I know we all want a better city with more responsible government but that’s largely where it ends. I need to stress this next point – and I can’t stress it enough – that’s a ME problem. FFFF was FFFF before I came along. I knew, largely, what I was getting myself into and that I wouldn’t know who I was “working” with on this site. That was and is a feature of FFFF and not a bug. I am/was able to post whatever I wanted with no oversight or editing or controls. It’s a free for all here at FFFF and that freedom can lead to breaking stories, shitposting or lawsuits. It’s a mixed bag.
But I’m looking to get out of the blogging world. I started doing news/politics related videos some time back and found that I enjoy that more than sitting here typing. I like deep diving into a topic at my leisure instead of feeling bad that I don’t post enough or that I haven’t found more people to write for a site that isn’t mine. I feel a big weight on my shoulders writing for FFFF and that weight isn’t mine any more than FFFF is mine.
The videos I was making for YouTube were never on local politics so they didn’t belong here on FFFF – on a site branded and run for local Fullerton politics – but as I shifted from typing to talking more and more I found that as I tried to figure out what content to put where – I wasn’t putting content anywhere. This, again, was and is a ME issue.
I fully realize that the reach this site has (I know how many people get the email list) made me somewhat notorious locally and not the other way around. I appreciate everything the Friends have done for me and my family over the years, especially during that hellscape of a lawsuit when it cost me my job. I made some friends thanks to this site I could not replace if I tried and I’ll always be grateful for that and many other things. But my usefulness here has ended. I’m more of a liability than an asset. More of a distraction than a feature. My interests fall outside of the narrative arcs that the anonymous bloggers publish and that’s not a bad thing.
I’ll always read FFFF and will always be grateful that they asked me to join them after the City Council race of 2016. As I stated earlier I have few, if any, regrets from my time here. I’m also grateful to the many readers who appreciated what I was trying to do in exposing the truth in Fullerton. You’d be shocked how many people stopped me on the street, at the local bars, in the grocery store even – to comment on my posts or to thank me for my writing. It was a pleasure knowing that I had even a limited impact and I hope to continue that with my videos to a different extent.
Thank you all for the years of friendship, malcontentedness and support.
In the words of the Dolphins who left Earth in the Hitchhiker’s trilogy, “So long and thanks for all the fish”. Cheers.