Fitzgerald Quits Fullerton City Council

I’m not telling the truth and you can’t make me…

Today Jennifer Fitzgerald announced her resignation from the Fullerton Council, effective immediately.

It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it…

“I can no longer even pretend to fulfill all the oaths I swore when I became a councilperson,” said Fitzgerald. “All the developer shakedowns, all the lies, all the influence peddling – I just can’t keep track of it all anymore. Balanced budgets, commitment to roads, honest cops – people want so much and I am so tired. I’m going to spend time with my family,” she stuttered weepily. “The evil has been backing up so much I feel I may burst.”

Mayor Jesus Silva responded to the announcement by saying ” I guess I’ll miss her helping me out at meetings when I started babbling like a boracho pendejo, but it will sure will be nice to have only one woman telling me what to do.”

Quick, get clear of the impending collapse…

Recently appointed Councilwoman Jan Flory had kind words for her colleague. “I’m going to miss Jen’ on council. To my lights she was the heart of the city and represents the very best commitment to service. We accomplished all sorts of things together – good roads, a successful downtown bar scene, an accountable police department, an unmatched string of balanced budges, effective and successful public works projects – you name it. She’s the reason Fullerton is where it is today.

Recently elected councilperson Ahmad Zahra was quick to praise Fitzgerald. “I thought at first  she might be, you know, difficult to work with after she called out my long-winded moral posturing on the council appointment deal. But, later, when the chips were down, and she was willing to screw Whitaker just for the fun of it, I was so happy to make the deal to be on the water board. It was a very successful transaction.”

The council will now have to decide whether to replace Fitzgerald by appointment or by special election. According to the City Attorney a special election in November could cost eighty trillion dollars, which might come close to unbalancing the City’s budget according to City Manager Ken Domer.

A Step in the Right Direction Bad Cops Boohooism Bruce Whitaker Chronic Failure Curt Pringle & Associates Downtown Fullerton Fullerton City Council Gin Flurry Jennifer Fitzgerald Jesus Loves You Repuglicanism Something Wicked This Way Comes The Culture of Corruption Watch Your Wallet

21 thoughts on “Fitzgerald Quits Fullerton City Council

  1. In other news:
    Tony Bushala gets sober, save coyote hills admit they were full of shit the whole time and Fullerton finally realizes they aren’t the center of the universe.

  2. Oh, if only it were really true. When Fitzgerald started grabbing her measly council pay after she swore she wouldn’t it finally became crystal clear what sort of moral degenerate we were dealing with.

  3. She and Jan and Ahmad are all morally deficient. The letters and emails should be overwhelming City hall…asking to make these three step down.

  4. Did I just read Jan Flory said “Good Roads”? My goodness that is statement in itself and demonstrates the deeper problems the remaining City Council members have as well. We Residents of Fullerton, who live and breath here have had enough of over-development and the negative resulting effects on our roads and systems!!! So, what does City of Fullerton do? But, of course build more Hyper Denisty Housing on Commonwealth Street!!! It is truly amazing and makes you shake your head at what Fullerton has become due to over-development and greed! Very sad third generation resident.

  5. Very sad what this city is becoming….. roads, crime, stolen mail, car/ home break ins, sanctuary city for the homeless, drug dealers, corruption within our cities leadership. Small pockets still feel nice and somewhat safe….. just this morning though group of homeless drug users all set up, sleeping on the corner of EV Free church right by their sign. Even our nicer , safer areas starting to feel gross and trashy. Fullerton feels likes it’s turning into a mini Los Angeles . God help us what this city will look and feel like in just a few more years…..

    1. Seeing the rainbow flag flying proudly over city hall will help us put things in perspective and feel so much better when we can put away all our troubles all embrace in a colleective group hug with Zhara who will bring us healthy drinking water and a new special appreciation for our fellow man…

        1. Breaking news…add men in ski masks by Amerige Park exciting their white van and shooting at a group of people to the list of all the crazy things happening in Fullerton! News like this should make us all feel snug as bugs safer tonight in our wonderful little rainbow flying , hugs to everyone , at least the waters clean ( not) little city…..

  6. This has made me realize that all my talk about flat Earths and wifi holocausts has proven to be a distraction from the real issues in this town and has only made it easier for the supporters of the status quo to paint everyone who disagrees with them with the same conspiracy theorist brush. I therefore resolve to stop peddling all such conspiracies from now on.

  7. Golly, that there special election is sure gonna cost alot! Maybe the students from the college could help out defray that cost by doing Mr Domer’s job for free.

  8. Is that Pringle’s arm around her and his hand touching her shoulder? If so, he should consult with Joe Biden about the downside of being a touchy-feely politician.

  9. Please fix the god damn roads. I keep re injuring my back. I was in an accident and I have no choice but to drive up st college where there are the biggest potholes ignored by the city officials. Very sad and corrupt people running Fullerton. Just look at the roads. If I run over one more pothole where it injures me I will take action

  10. Please fix the god damn roads. I keep re injuring my back. I was in an accident and I have no choice but to drive up st college where there are the biggest potholes ignored by the city officials. Very sad and corrupt people running Fullerton. Just look at the roads. If I run over one more pothole where it injures me I will take action

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