HeeHaw, It’s The Law!

No, no, no! I ain't a' gonna do it!

Well, not the law, exactly. More like City Council Administrative Policy #37, approved last February. Check it out:

Administrative Policy #37

Here’s the deal: the guy with most seniority since last being Mayor shall be appointed, plain and simple. And that means our Crazy Ol’ Doc Heehaw is line to shoulder the burden of the mayoralty, like it or not. Well, he can shirk his duty again, like he did before, and go to the second spot.

Not time to step up?

That means the next in line to be Mayor is Sharon Quirk-Silva, with Dr. Phogbound as Mayor Pro Tem; and if he declines the second spot, too, that would fall to the highest vote getter in the last election. And that’s our old Friend, Bruce Whitaker.

Now it could very well be that Sharon Quirk-Silva would defer her place until next year to run for re-election in 2012 with the title “Mayor of Fullerton,” in which case our next mayor would be Whitaker.

Could greatness be thrust upon him?

Of course Administrative Policy #37 isn’t worth the TP it was written on or the Sharpie it was written with – despite the fact that it’s the wet-dream of all Fullerton liberals, and ironically could produce the first truly conservative mayor since…well, since anybody could possibly remember.

How will it play out? Who knows? One thing is certain. This is Fullerton and it’s bound to be a confused mess. But the entertainment value should be high.

16 Replies to “HeeHaw, It’s The Law!”

  1. This is becoming a treasured holiday tradition in Fullerton. I’m almost giddy wih anticipation because no matter where the chips fall it will be really funny to watch.

  2. But Whitaker wasn’t in the same election as Bankhead and McKinley. Did the council not foresee the advent of a concurrent special election, or does it matter because, municipally speaking, the elections were on the same ballot? Just offering up more comic fodder.

    1. Savage, I thought about that, too. According to the policy Spankhead is out no matter what. Whitaker and McCueball were in different elections, but on the same freakin’ day day. Hard to argue with the fact that Whitaker got more votes. Plus he ran in an election where there were no second votes to augment the total.

      McKinley is fourth in line according to old #37.

      Still, as admin points out the thing doesn’t mean shit and never did – despite the Hosannas from Pam’s Brain Dead Posse.

      1. My money is on the three old guys throwing the rotation policy out the window and making Blankhead mayor again. “Don’ wanna change horses (wheeze) in mid-stream!” Because things are just going so well under his watch…

        Either way, I will be watching at home with a big bowl of popcorn and a box of kleenex to wipe away the tears of hysterical laughter.

        1. I agree about the old guys. There are too many static interests involved. Still, watch out for old HeeHaw to claim his rightful brass ring after all. Tanned, rested and ready. Yeehaw!

          And if that occurs, Katie bar the door. FFFF will have pure, unadulterated gold for years to come!

  3. Rules are not written in stone.

    Let Sharon be Mayor. 12 Months of Doc Hee Haw is like watching Sarah Palin running for President in 2012….No thanks!

  4. It’s hard to imagine Dr. Phogbound running a public meeting in his present mental state. It would certainly end with somebody being hauled off in a straight jacket.

  5. Just when I thought the absence of any elections for a year or so would quite you guys down the City of Fullerton is going to offer up this pot of gold?

    Half of me wants to cry and the other can’t wait to see the treasure trove of blown gasket footage sure to be provided by crazy Jones.

    It must be like winning the lottery the week after you loose your job.

    You’ve got me hooked so I will keep tuning in.

  6. Doesn’t say anything about “Mayor Pro Tem.” Just “second position.” Meaning that a mayoral vacancy might or might not make the MPT the next mayor. For that spot could still be claimed by Mr. Second Position, according to Policy #37, and that person might not be MPT.

    1. Sam, you are right. What a fustercluck. Good thing nobody’s going to really and truly believe in #37 except the few dozen Yellowing Observers who got McPension elected.

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