Our field operatives have just recently intercepted a phone conversation between former State Senator Dick Ackerman and GOP PR flack Jon Fleischman, the producer of the now infamous “2007 Holiday Greeting” in which Fleischman identifies Ackerman’s house as located in a “secret, gated community” in Irvine.
As our Friends are aware, this video came at a sensitive time, as Ackerman’s wife is attempting to offer her services to the residents of an assembly district (ours) in which she does not live – yet. Fleischman pulled the video off Youtube – but too late! It had already been snagged by video enthusiasts the world over.
The quality of the phone conversation recording is poor, perhaps due to the multitude of wires in the Ackerman’s topiary gardens; so poor in fact, that it is not effective to reproduce it; however our audio reconstruction department staff have analyzed it at length and have produced the nearly believable transcript below:
Ackerman: Yeah, (grunting sound) Fleischman, this is Dick Ackerman!
F: Senator, how are you? How is your lovely –
A: Cut the crap, you donkey. That lame-ass movie you made is still on the internet. That bastard Norby got Bushala and Pedroza to do blog whaddyacallits. Now everybody in the 72nd knows we live in Irvine. I never should have let you through the gate.
F: Gee, I sure feel bad about that, Senator. I wish there was something –
A: And another thing what was all that fat-mouth bullshit about a “secret gated community” and “doing pretty well as a legislator?”
F: Um, well…um…
A: Now get off your fat ass and pull that video (snorting and grunting sounds).
F: Gee, Senator I’m not a lawyer, but it’s on Youtube, you know, in the public domain. It’s gonna be hard, you know, to –
A: You’re goddam right you’re not a lawyer. So shut up and do it. Get rid of it. Now.
F: Well, okay Senator, I sure am sorry about all this, you know how I feel about you and um, Linda.
A: (more grunting sounds) That bastard Norby’s behind this. Well, his days are numbered.
F: Yes, sir. He’s not a real conservative, like us, and he’ll do anything to get elected.
A: (snarling sounds) There’s a strange van out behind the tennis court. Now get off the phone you jackass and make that goddam thing go away (static).