The $55,000 Conversation

by Posted on
They're baaaack!

Well, you didn’t think they could do it, did you? Well we didn’t either. But the boys in the White Van overcame their three-month peyote and grapefruit juice-induced haze and picked up an audio recording of a conversation that  we think you will enjoy. It seems that one night a few weeks ago they were parked in the neighborhood of the brick veenered and mansarded ranch house of Col. F. Dick Jones, USAF(Ret.), MD.

The transcription from the audio recording that you are about to read is so true to life that you might almost accept it as something that really happened.

(sound of a telephone ringing)

Dick Jones: Hella, this here’s Dick Jones. Doctah Dick Jones.

Dick Ackerman: (grunting noises) Dick, Dick. I got Ellis with me.

Jones: (wheezing noises) Dick Dick? What the Hell you talkin’ ’bout boy? What the Hell’s Elliswithme? Ah say, speak up, boy!

Ackerman: It’s Ackerman and Ellis. We’re running the campaign against Bushala. Protect Fullerton, remember?

Dave Ellis: Hi, Dick. Dick. Just got the check. Thanks a bundle.

Jones: Dick Dick? Aw, coll-sarn it y’all r’ a-startin’ that agin’. Whatcha boys talkin’ ’bout?

Ackerman: (more indecipherable short guttural sounds) Okay, shut up. Who else is there?

Jones: Me ‘n Don and Pat. We been a-waitin’ on yer call.

Ackerman: Okay. We on speaker? Good (three more staccato grunts). Everything’s going great. Got Bushala and those high school doper drop-outs on the run. Heh heh. Dave, give ’em an update.

Ellis: (a distinct sound of ice cubes rattling in a cocktail glass followed by a loud slurping sound. Karaoke in background ) Recission cards are pouring in – thousands, hundreds,  millions of ’em. Our mailers are working great. Worth every penny. Bieber’s the best. Haha. Bushala slum lord, Bushala jailbird. Hahaha. Bushala dope-head. This is like taking candy from a baby. Hey, that sounds like fun, too! Haha.

Don Bankhead: (muffled sounds followed by a few snorts) Quite frankly…(indecipherable sounds that appear to be snoring).

Jones: Hey Pat, a-jiggle joggle that boy awake fer me, will ya? ‘Tamnation ah wish’d ah’d just a-quit. That damn Royce.

Ackerman: (a loud bark followed by a protracted low snarl) Goddamit stay focused. We got ’em on the run. The people of Fullerton know their city’s not for sale. This is my city.

Jones: It ain’t fer sale? But we’s open fer bidness! Ye-haw!

Pat McKinley: Pat here, Dick. I’m ready to deploy. Just give me some nun-chucks and some tear gas. Tasers. They enjoy pain. My boys’ll do anything for me. Did I mention that somebody punctured my Kevlar® gas tank? Freaks and hippies. Terrorists. She Bear, oh yeah!

Ackerman: Jesus Christ, you’re all nuts.

Jones: (a phlegmy wheeze followed by a disctinct sound of expectoration)  Ah’m a doctah ‘n a kernel. I ain’t a-gonna stand fo’ no mo’ ana-key. Ah’m a fomah Mayuh!

Ellis: We need more money for the next mailing.

Jones: Whuzza? How much we in fer so fah?

Ackerman: Um, er, Dave?

Ellis: About fifty-five.

McKinley: Fifty-five hundred? That’s not bad. I make three times that each month for my pension! Not counting my She Bear royalties for all those books I sold at the Chamber.

Ackerman: (a bark) I wish you’d quit reminding people about that stuff you idiot. No. Fifty-five thousand.

Jones: Sweet Blubberin’ Baby Jebus! Oh Gawd, ah think ah’m a-havin’ a conniption!

Ackerman: (an unmistakable snarl) Settle down, Dick. This is about more than just you. If this recall goes through I’m finished in Fullerton. No more kickbacks, no more fake residences.

Jones: Aww Lawdy, ah’m a-comin’ home! Fiddy-five thousand? (A series of choking sounds followed by a low moan). Aw-w-w-w-w-w-w.

Ackerman: Look, we’re in the home stretch. Do you want to lose your jobs or worry about a few grand? Jesus, most of it came from the cops anyway. Let’s talk about Phase Two.

Jones: Mah repa-tay-shun. Tarnation, MuhKinlay, a-joggle jiggle that boy awake agin’. We gotta get hard, n’ tough and  n’ mean!

(muffled noises, coughing and assorted grunts)

Bankhead: Uh, really and truly. Uh. What? What was Phase One, again?

Ackerman: (a grunt) Phase One was where we softened ’em up with body blows. They’re about ready to quit.

Jones: But they got all them signa’ters anyway. Fiddy-five thousand.

Ackerman: Shut up and listen. Phase Two. Dave?

Ellis: Phase Two is to alert the media that all those signatures are going to be invalidated. We’re gonna need another five thou, give or take. We need another mailer

Jones: Fiddy-five thousand. Aw Lawd ‘a Mercy! What we need another mailer fer?

Ellis: We’re going on the offensive, take ’em down. Fullerton’s Not For Sale. Bushala the Terrorist. Haha.

McKinley: People keep asking me about the police department and that damn Kelly Thomas video. Jesus, you can’t even blouse up a bum anymore. And that She Bear talk in Brea. Now they keep asking me about Rincon. What do I tell em?

Ackerman: Tell ’em Bushala keeps chickens in his backyard. Heh, heh. Damn Norby’s behind all this (more low growling).

Jones: Whaddabout that watah fee Hitlah thing?

Ellis: Bushala wants to buy your city!

Bankhead: Things of that nature…(snoring resumes).

Ackerman: Okay, just raise more money. Everybody whose ever got a dime off of Redevelopement chips in. And I mean everybody, got it? Hey, what’s that van doing out there? What the? How long…

At this point the conversation was terminated.

 

 

 

40 Replies to “The $55,000 Conversation”

      1. That photo reminds me of every desperate tyrant and dictator. They love showing pictures of their adoring followers.

        Reply

      2. Fullerton Ca -135,000 residents which conservatively is home to maybe 15,000 kids between ages 5-12. Looks like they are striking out with the kids as well by the looks of that board. Funny thing during D.A.R.E week when the FPD shows up at the local elementary school my kids bring home pictures of syringes and the like. That is a great start to the long term relationship that my kids will never have with the police department. One also has to consider that most of those notes and letters were probably done by the offspring of the black uniforms. A telling shot for sure which borders on the Orwellian.That photo should be the topic of a future post indeed.

        Reply

    4. Hey Lou, did they show you cell where Gochenour supposedly hanged himself?

      Did you even ask to see it.

      Pud.

      Reply

  5. Someone needs to call the FBI!

    A Massachusetts woman says the FBI used a chain saw blade to cut through her door and held her at gunpoint for at least 30 minutes before agents realized they were conducting a raid at the wrong home. 
    Judy Sanchez, of Fitchburg, says she awoke to heavy footsteps in the stairwell on Jan. 26 and walked into her kitchen in time to see a blade chop through her door. 
    “I took two steps, face the second door, and I heard the click of a gun, and saying, ‘FBI, get down,’ so I laid down on my living room floor,” Sanchez told WHDH.com. “I was screaming, ‘You have the wrong apartment, you have the wrong apartment,’ over fifty times. And then I seen the big blade coming down my door.”She says she was held face-down on the floor at gunpoint while her 3-year-old daughter Ji’anni cried in another room. 
    It turns out agents were after the other tenant on the floor of the multi-unit building who was suspected of dealing drugs. The raid was called Operation Red Wolf, a two-year investigation into drugs and weapons, WHDH.com reported.
    Sanchez says she and her daughter now have trouble sleeping. The mom told WHDH she now sleeps with a baseball bat next to her bed. 
    The FBI has apologized and is paying for the damage.

    This war on drugs needs to stop so Tony can sleep at night.
     

    Reply

    1. Action Jackson leaves out a few germaine details! 1. The FBI settled with the family by the time the story was released – within a couple of days…Not one year like in Fullerton when FPD broke into the wrong house. 2. The FBI apologized before the story was even written…Not one year later under threats of lawsuits like in Fullerton.
      Same mistakes but some groups learn by their mistakes. FPD hires goons like Sgt. Andy Goodrich who are paid $135,000/year to lie to the prublic including weak newspaper reporters. So comparing the FBI to Fullerton is specious reasoning at best!

      Reply

      1. “The FBI settled with the family by the time the story was written”. Sounds like a FBI cover up by FFFF definition. Fullerton PD tried the same with the Thomas Family and it was called a cover up.

        Mrs. Nordel has said the officers who entered her home apologized after they realized they entered the wrong home.

        Facts are not important

        Reply

  9. Cast:

    Shawn Nelson as Dick Jones

    Chris Norby as Don Bankhead

    Pat McKinley as himself (I don’t know anybody that can act like that big of a jackass)

    Dave Zenger as Dick Ackerman

    Any drunk guy walking down Harbor as Dave Ellis

    Reply

    2. Too bad Col. Sanders isn’t around anymore. He’d make a great Jones (there’s a good likeness picture of this somewhere on the blog lol).

      Reply

  11. Now you’ve gone too far! Those are esteemed councilmen and you portray them as feeble-minded, dithering, ignoramuses.

    For shame.

    Reply

  16. Dag’nammit Ah nevah said none of that bullhockey! Ya’ll kin’ jus’ put yore so called sensa’ humah’ wheya the sun don’t shine!

    Reply

  17. Oh Hick :::sigh::: Will you just shut up! Shall I translate? Jones, ya shit-fer-brains, will ya jes hesh up dagnabbit! Does STFU work better? hehehe

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *