Helping A Brother Out

An observant Friend just shared a link with FFFF about an item that caught his eye. Apparently Joe Florentine, the subject of many posts on FFFF is seeking a new gig. Here’s his entry on LinkedIn:

Now, FFFF is not a jobs center and neither are we job recruiters. But damn! I know talent when I see it, and this guy has it in spades.

Now, I’m not going to show this upstanding citizen’s whole resume, because, humble and self-effacing as Joe is, he omitted to share some real ability. I’ll help out.

Joe’s Unique Skillset & References

  1. Enterprising. Built restaurant addition on a public sidewalk and got away with it.
  2. Creative. Operated an illegal night club in contravention to City of Fullerton regulations for many years.
  3. Recreational Opportunities Deployment. Exercised the greatest latitude in permitting patrons to enjoy interpersonal contact on dance club floor (i.e. see “Drunken Others”).
  4. Plumbing and Wastewater Systems Expertise. Avoided adding additional sewage to the wastewater system by utilizing the same toilets for multiple businesses. Urination and defecation were performed by patrons without overloading existing wastewater systems.
  5. Mixological Ingenuity and Marketing Acumen. Brought the Fish Bowl concept to downtown Fullerton to acclaim and adulation, specifically, in which a patron could buy a 128 fluid ounce cocktail.
  6. Daring. Refused requirement to install fire sprinklers as mandated by City permit approval.
  7. Creative Writing and Teamwork. Forged an official City planning application with the consent and foreknowledge of the City Manager and Planning Director and City Attorney.

References

Former Fullerton City Planning Director F. Paul Dudley

Former Fullerton City Manager Joe Felz (customer #1!)

Former Fullerton City Manager Ken Domer

Former Fullerton Police Chief Pat “Patdown Pat” McKinley

Former Fullerton Police Chief Danny “Galahad” Hughes

Former Fullerton City Councilmembers Don Bankhead, Dick Jones, Jennifer Fitzgerald and Jan Flory

Fullerton City Attorney Dick “The Other Dick” Jones

18 Replies to “Helping A Brother Out”

  1. Note the accolades for food sales. He forgot to include:

    In violation of my CUP requirement to have at least 50% of total sales from food and not alcohol.

    Shocking exclusion.

  2. 8. New Concepts in Quality Control and Marketing Research. Created extremely crappy food knowing that most of clientele a) wouldn’t know the difference and b) if they did, they could replaced by idiots who wouldn’t.

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