In the case of the FPD public information officer, not much, apparently.
It happens that FPD has some sort of class on how to love your local cops, and below, I share two on-line descriptions of the class. Check out the 2009 version vs. the 2012 version. All of the Pat McKinley quotes were replaced word-for-word with alleged quotations by Dan Hughes!
How’s that for a nice copy and paste job from a $130,000 per year employee, FPD spokesphincter Andrew Goodrich?
Check it out:
The 10-week course “will expose participants to the many faces of police work in their community,” explained Fullerton Police Acting Chief Dan Hughes. “Participants will gain an overall knowledge of the Fullerton Police Department, how it’s organized, how it serves the community, and they will learn about the men and women behind the badge.”
Hughes emphasized the course is not meant to train people to become police officers; rather, “it is intended to improve communication and understanding between the community and the department.”
The 10-week course, which will be held from March 11 through May 13, “exposes participants to the many facets of police work in their community,” explained Fullerton Police Chief Pat McKinley. “Participants will gain an overall knowledge of the Fullerton Police Department, how it’s organized, and how it serves the community, and they will learn about the men and women behind the badge.”
McKinley emphasized the course is not meant to train people to become police officers; rather, “it is intended to open communication between the community and the department.”
Either Goodrich is the laziest $130,000 man alive, or Danny Hughes is channeling the ghost of Pat McPension!
FPD Bonus Question. “communication and understanding between the community and the department” means:
1. We will not flatulate in your face because we think you are unconscious.
2. We will not break into your house by mistake, hold you at gunpoint and refuse to apologize.
3. We will not beat you up, arrest you and then lie on the witness stand about how we came to find you in our jail the next day.
4. We will not throw you in jail for five months because we are just too damn lazy to catch the right dude.
5. We will not handcuff and sexually assault you in the back of our patrol cars.
6. We will not swipe your wallet after we kick the crap out of you.
7. We will not encourage you to commit suicide in our jail. Nor will we try to destroy the evidence thereof.
8. We will not rip you off by committing credit card fraud.
9. We will not steal your iPad at an airport security checkpoint. Or any place else for that matter.
10. We will not instigate a fake crime report, beat the living shit out of you, electrocute you, drive your facial bones into your brain, sit on your chest as you asphyxiate in your own blood, stand around as you die, and then laugh about it the next day as we go back to work.
11. None of the above.