FFFF Undercover Surveillance Unit Digs Deep, Strikes Gold!

Oh, no. Not again!
Oh, no. Not again!

At least they said they did. We will certainly forgive you if you have your doubts. The boys in The Van were given an extra allocation of medicinal mushrooms after their last supposed Ackerman phone call coup, and, well, that’s an ingredient that could produce almost any kind of weird hallucination.

Anyway, here’s what the Undercover Surveillance Unit claims to have captured. Make of it what you will.

(phone ringing)

Dick Jones: Ahhm a comin’ (heavy panting noises) Hello?

Dick Ackerman: (a grunt) Dick Ackerman here.

DJ: Dick! (wheezing sounds) Sorry, ah’m a little winded. Long way from the privvy.

DA: Quit talking and listen. That asshole Nygren did a poll. Roski’s pulling out. Two goddam miserable weeks left and that punk Roski’s pulling out on me. They’re all out to get me. No respect. Goddammit I’m Dick Ackerman. Okay, look, I’m outta dough. We’re outta dough. Linda’s outta dough. Hitting up all my Fullerton friends. Our Fullerton friends. Linda’s Fullerton friends.

DJ: A poll (wheezing and coughing). What kinda poll? (coughing)

DA: (several guttural noises) Don’t worry about that. Forget about it. I need some dough. We need some dough. Linda needs some dough. We gotta keep hitting that bastard Norby. Right up ’til the end. At the end. After the end (distinct snarling sound followed by an apparent bark).

DJ: That Norby, boy, he’s a real troublemaker. A real Brutus. Et tu Brutus? (unattributable sputtering sounds)

DA: What?

DJ: Huh?

DA: (a series of staccato grunts) Shut up and listen. What can I put you down for? The limit, right?

DJ: Ahhumm. Well, ah ain’t gonna hide the fact, Dick. S’been a tough year. Reeeal tough! (two phlegmmycoughs)

DA: (a snarl) Why you ingrate, if it wasn’t for me you’d just be another loud-mouthed Rotarian. You’ve got more money than Croesus. Sell one of your thirteen cars and pony up, goddammit!

DJ: There was a poll? (more asthmatic wheezing)

DA: (a bark) Goddammit you jackass, forget about the poll! I’m putting you down for $1200. A guy’s coming up to Fullerton today to wash my car at Dolan’s place. I’ll send him over to pick up the check.

DJ: Norby. That sumbitch tried to stop our Redevelopment expansion. That’s a brilliant plan. He’s a trouble maker. And he’s buddies with Bushala. Suin’ his own city! Got a name fer boys like that back in Galveston: sumbitch.

DA: Yeah. I tried to shut up that punk too. Didn’t work. Everybody’s useless. Out to get me. Get us. Get Linda. (several low growling sounds) But forget about that.

DJ: (a long wheeze) Heh-heh, did ah ever tell ya about the Eye-talian family that used to run Galveston?

DA: What? Shut up and listen. My boy will be around for the check at ten or eleven. His names’s Mike. Or Matt. Or Milt. Something like that. Won’t do my tires right (a snarl).

DJ: Huh?

DA What?

DJ: There was a poll?

Unidentified Female Voice in Background: Dick, that white van is back behind the statue garden wall!

DA: Hell. Damn peacocks are gonna go off again. Okay. Get off the line you idiot. And write that check. Now.

Another Day, Another Phone Call

Van
Oh, no. Not again!

Following hot on the heels of their last snagged conversation between Dick Ackerman and his various high-minded associates, we have received this sparkling gem from our Undercover Surveillance Unit.

It appears to be a conference call between Dick Ackerman and two of Repuglican OCs minor water bearers, Adam Probolsky and Matthew Cunningham. It is so unbelievable that we will obviously forgive you Friends for treating it as fiction, but here goes, anyway.

It's all coming together...another term in Sacramento!
It's all coming together...another term in Sacramento!

(Cunningham and Ackerman were already conversing when the interception began. A faint ringing sound is heard in the background)

Dick Ackerman: (snort) You missed the rear tires again.

Matt Cunningham: Sorry, sir. Thought I got them. Won’t happen again.

DA: (grunting noise) Yeah, well it better not…and use Armor All next time…

(ringing stops)

Adam Probolsky: Hey there, Senator. So glad I could join –

DA: (guttural sounds) Shut up and listen Problobsky. Your girlfriend has already got me into plenty of hot water. That shit with Jones Day isn’t going to be free.

AP: I’ll tell you what –

DA: (bark) No, you’re done talking, putz. Clam up. You’re almost as bad as that donkey Fleischman.

AP: Sorry, sir I just –

( a low grade snarl, unattributable)

DA: That asshole Lacy did a poll. Showed Linda down by ten. We go down, you go down. Now get your fat ass out there and refute it. And you, you –

MC: Me? Yessir?

DA: Your job is to screw with that FFFF operation and Bushala. That bastard is putting up signs attacking me. I mean attacking Linda. Nobody attacks me. It can’t be legal. They’re making me look bad. Making Linda look bad. Making us look bad. (several low growls and a snort). Ughhhmmmmph.

MC: He’s fringe. Crazy. I really hate him. I hate his guts.

AP: He’s a terrrorist. They all are, you know.

DA: Shut up, Plobrosky. What are you still doing on the line? You’ve got your assignment now get lost.

(a distinct clicking sound) 

MC: Anything else you want me to do, sir?

DA: (snarl) I want you to start going after Norby, goddammit!

MC: Okay….well…its hard…I mean. I haven’t endorsed him…

DA: (several growls)Nobody gives a rat’s ass about your punk endorsement. Just take a shit on him every day.

MC: Well, I’m trying, but you see, John is telling me the same thing, so –

DA: Don’t play hard ball with me you little (unintelligible). If I go down you’re coming along, too see, just like Porbolsky and Fleischberg. And all that Carona shit may come out, too. You and all your little…(loud sound of exhalation).  And don’t forget to shut up that Bartlett piece of crap. Thinks he’s so goddam pure and self-righteous. (growling sound)

MC: Well, we’ve been deleting some of his posts and Chip has –

DA: (muffled sounds of indeterminate origin) Shut him up. Now. I’ll take care of him but good after I win. So go after Bushala. Make him look bad. (several quick grunts)

MC: Well, it’s a little hard – he doesn’t seem to care what I say about him. He’s crazy.

DA: Goddamit, call him a liar and a crook. I don’t give a shit. Use some big words. Goddam Jones Day. Worthless. Can’t count on anybody. All out to get me. (a muffled snarl)

MC: Okay, sir. I’ll keep up the pressure. We really need Linda.

DA: Who? Oh, yeah. Right. Now start blogging or your gravy train’s gonna come to a screeching halt, you got it?

MC: Yessir!

DA: And next time get the tires right or I’ll let Fleischman do it.

FFFF Surveillance Team Snags Another Ackerman Call

 
Thye're back!
Yup. They're back!

Well they have done it again. Or at least they told us they did. Our crack Undercover Surveillance Unit has sent in a transcript of another intercepted Dick Ackerman phone conversation, this time with an unidentified male communicant. We are not sure exacly what to make of this transcript and we are cognizant that the surveillance team had just been issued its monthy medicinal marijuana supply. So we simply pass the transcript along to the Friends, who would be damn fools to believe it.

Heh heh. Remember the ferrets?
Heh heh. Remember the steamroom?

(Phone ringing)

Unidentified Male Communicant: Yes, hello.

Dick Ackerman: Tomski, Dick Ackerman here. (two quick grunts followed by a snort)

UMC: The Dickster! (unintelligible guttural sound)

DA: Booga, Booga!

UMC: Alpha Kappa

DA: Alpha Kappa Chi!

UMC: Grab some titties,

DA: Shoot some beaver,

UMC: I Eta Pi! (three or four grunts in quick succession) Heh. Heh heh.

DA: (Several snorting sounds and a distinct throat clearing) Heh heh heh.

UMC: What’s up Dickie-boy?

DA: (a grunt) Got some trouble up north with a punk reporter and a coupla pissant bloggers. Got a girl in trouble.

UMC: The Dickster! Oh yeah! Still got it! (two deep grunts). Heh heh.

DA: Not like that you idiot. More Duvall shit. God I wished I’d never talked that asshole into running. (a low, long rumbling sound)

Unidentified Female Voice In Background: She’s works so hard!

UMC: Uhhhmm…what do you want me to do?

DA: A coupla letters, heh heh. Pin some ears back, heh, heh, heh. The usual.

UMC: (a long rumbling throaty noise). Ahhh. Look Dickie-boy the suits back east are getting a little hung up on all this pro bono stuff. So…

DA: (a quick snarl) No, you look Tomski. We go back a long way. Remember the trouble with that senorita in Vallejo? And that little side deal during the Swindell merger? And the steam room. Remember the steam room, Tomski?

UMC: That was thirty-five years ago!

DA: Thirty-seven. But what’s a coupla years between old friends?

UMC: Ughhh.Ughhhh. Well…ughhh…

DA: Good. So we can count you in. Knew we could. I’ll fax over the dope. Get on it! (a grunt)

UMC: Yeah, well okay. See what we can do.

UFVIB: Dick, that white van’s back behind croquet court wall!

DA: (a string of nasal ejaculations followed by a quick barking sound) Okay, Tomski, gotta go. See you at the club on Friday!

UMC: (a grunting sound) Yeah. Okay. You owe me a drink!

(at this point the communication was ended)

Coming soon to your neighborhood...
Coming soon to your neighborhood...

Dying to Move Out of Fullerton

We received this letter from a resident who is ready to leave Fullerton after years of struggling with the city over disparate code enforcement, including yet another example of the city turning a blind eye towards an ongoing public nuisance caused by amplified outdoor music.

Fullerton is actually my hometown, and it was pretty decent back when I lived here. Eight years ago, my parents and I decided to move back to the City of Fullerton, from Buena Park. It was the beginning of the real estate boom and we got our house on the west side of Fullerton for a decent price. It was a nice neighborhood then, and still is at times. But, We’ve grown out of love for the City of Fullerton. It is no longer a place where my parents can retire in their modest lifestyle. We didn’t know that this little corner of Fullerton was just a throw away section back then. To us, it seemed like a place that had some potential for people who wanted to add the the community by renovating their homes, (as some have), and live quietly.

I have watched the neighborhood drastically change over the years, and it doesn’t look like it is getting a whole lot better. It seems like the city could care less about what is happening here as long as we pay our property taxes to fuel their idiotic projects.

We were going to put a lot of money into this home. But there is no way now, we do not have the heart to improve this little enclave one-bit when the city has failed us.

Late July, we received a letter stating that Community Preservation was inspecting this little corner of Fullerton for illegal modifications to the homes.  Shortly thereafter, we received a letter warning us to water our lawn. Which was asinine because we were obeying the water conservation request that they’ve sent.

Even more appalling, was how my neighbors, who homes are “blighted” with illegal modifications, miraculously walked away without any condemnation from the “preservationists.”

One of our neighbors painted his house and left the last quarter of his wall, under the eaves unpainted.

While another, illegally converted his patio into an additional room, added a laundry hook up, possibly a bathroom, and covered the roof with a tarp to keep the rain from seeping into the roof and walls from last winter! In addition to that, he installed another bathroom in his garage, that was left unfinished for a year, to complement his home theater/dance floor.

It just appalls me that our community preservationists can spot out the dry lawn, that I did not water per their conservation request, while something as tacky leaving a house barely painted, and blatant modifications are left undocumented.

And unfortunately, that is just one of the many issues and gripes I have about the City of Fullerton.

When I moved to his neighborhood, I envisioned a place where I can renovate the home and give my parents a modest home to retire in, while I try to purchase another home on the street for me and my wife. They are humble people with no need for anything fancy. Just peace and quiet.

There has been an ongoing situation with my neighbor with the home theater/sound system/dance floor in his garage. I would love to talk to him, but my mother says he is an aggressive guy. One day he was parked in our driveway and my mother could barely get in. Well she went looking for him to politely ask him to move the car, but he barked at her instead. From then on, she told me to stay away from him; even though I have a cool head, I tend to fly off the handle when it involves someone threatening my mother (everyone can relate to that).

Well, the loud music and parties started once he built up the garage. They usually happen on weeknights and goes into the wee hours of the night; 3 AM-ish. Knowing that a face to face wasn’t going to work. I wrote a polite letter, apologizing that I couldn’t talk to him face to face, because I could not find him (he has a super high fence that goes all the way around his yard), and requested that he turned his music down and refrain from partying too loud in the evening (because my dad wakes up for work early and goes to sleep early) and late at night, for we all work on weekdays.

Unfortunately, that letter didn’t help (knew that would happen). So, I called the police instead, hoping that they would put some sense into his hard head. But, that didn’t work. All they said was that they couldn’t do anything about the music, and can only request that the guy turn down his music. Which is total BS! IMHO! So, the cops came over once and requested him to turn his music down; that worked only once. Each consecutive call I made thereafter resulted in no shows. I know Fullerton Police has better and more important things to do, but they could have given him a ticket for disturbing the peace, or being a nuisance to really ring his bell. Calls to community preservation were no help either. I was going in a loop by then, as they referred me back to the police, saying that it was under their jurisdiction. In retaliation of this offense neighbors, instead of banding together to squash the evildoer, other neighbors have selfishly play their own music on their own accord, creating an even dicier situation; it seems like no one can get a long, or is willing to try (I am. Unfortunately they aren’t). And this is where I am at; where the whole family is at: frustrated and sleep deprived.

The City of Fullerton has made it clear that noise isn’t an issue for them. It seems like they have an alternative motive when it comes to enforcing their own noise laws. *hint hint* *jab jab*

And ignore established building codes to suit their own distorted visions of grandeur.

Whatever they are doing, they are driving away people who have the ability and dream to make Fullerton a more positive place to live in, particularly in the west side of Fullerton, where it is becoming a bigger s**t hole, without decent enforcement of the ordinances, and decent families to abide by them.

–Berto Gomez

Victory for Outdoor Music in Downtown

we play for food and drinks
If you don't like our sound you don't have to listen

On Tuesday night, July 7, 2009 the Fullerton City Council finally concluded the issue of Live Outdoor Amplified Noise.  With a 4-1 vote (Pam Keller in opposition for some reason), council members decided that our current sound ordinance will suffice, moving forward into the future. Currently, acoustic music is allowed outside and louder live amplified music is not.  Jones, Bankhead, Quirk and Nelson all voting that the outdoor use of acoustical instrumentation (without amplification) is A-OK, but the use of louder live amplified noise on downtown private  patios on a regular basis is not the best thing for Downtown Fullerton.

It was stated in the sound study that was produced for the city at a cost of $16K that it is very unusual for cities to allow loud live amplified music outdoors on a regular basis. This obviously doesn’t include special events which are permitted under the current city code.  It’s so unheard of that only 3 cities in the whole country where cited as allowing some kind of routine outdoor noise, 2 of them out-of-state. The vast majority of cities allow acoustic (non-amplified) music outdoors while the loud music belongs inside. What a great idea!

We do our best work indoors...
We do our best work indoors...

Cheers for the Council for making a wise decision and preserving the peace in Downtown!

Cheers for the Council for having the foresight to see that over the long run this will encourage positive development in the downtown and promote a healthy business climate for all types of diverse shops and residential dwellings to thrive in downtown.

If you think about it, some types of music just aren’t conducive to being peace and quiet, yet others are. So by sticking with the current ordinance, acoustic music like folk, jazz and blues are encouraged outside while the louder harder stuff is only allowed indoors.

Makes great sense—Good job City Council!

Roscoe’s Famous Nuisance Appealed: Showdown at City Council!

dq
Well, somebody had to do it...

So we did it. Friends for Fullerton’s Future has appealed the appalling decision by the Fullerton Planning Commission to grant a bogus “special event” permit to Jack Franklyn’s “Roscoe’s” in order to legitimize his ongoing violation of the City ordinance regarding outdoor amplified music in the C-3 District.

Yeah, baby! Mixed use!
Yeah, baby! Mixed use!

We’ve been over this already so there’s no need to rehash all the details except to say that for some reason the City has been complicit in this ongoing permit-dodging scandal: no permits, no code enforcement, a cooked-up noise study, a phony special event permit. The list goes on and on. Now the City Council will be able to weigh in on the subject. We expect lots of chit-chat but the real issue is so simple: the law says you can’t do it! If you want to change the law, then do it. But not before all the necessary CEQA responsibilities are met. And that means an EIR!

Will it say what we want it to say?
We paid for it. Will it say what we want it to say?

Roscoes at it Again, Temporary Nuisance, Permanent Arrogance

Just what exactly does “temporary” mean? “Roscoe’s Famous” Deli,” and famous noise polluter in downtown Fullerton is back to the Planning Commission Wednesday night to try to get a “special event permit” for outdoor amplified music.

"lyrical elements of apocalyptic fears and collective oppression"
Oh yeah! Mixed-use, baby!

The Planning Commission and City Council already agreed that outdoor amplified music is not a good thing for our community. Allowing loud music to be permitted on a permanent basis will stump Fullerton’s bright future of continuing to become a center of mixed-use commerce and residences as defined by the current downtown zoning (C3.)  If we want our downtown to unfold in a positive direction it’s imperative that we as a community find a balance between business, entertainment and living in the downtown. Its real simple: if you want loud noise you need to put it inside. In fact the city required Tuscany Club to keep it’s door shut during the hours it has its loud entertainment- that sounds like a reasonable idea doesn’t it ?

As usual the City staff has gotten everything ass-backward.

it all depends which way you're facing...
From where we're standing it looks reasonable...

Instead of establishing an objective code and requiring that businesses abide by it, they are actually justifying a likely nuisance as way to experiment with amplified music outdoors, and thus circumvent the existing Code. The taxpayers have just paid for an acoustical study. What are the results? Those results should be used to amend the Code or leave it as is. Then it should be used as a mechanism to approve or deny permits – “special event” or otherwise, and if necessary, code enforcement.  The special event permit also strangely omits hours of operation. That’s pretty negligent, and we wonder why.

Roscoe’s didn’t get approved for a permanent permit to play amplified music outdoors; now they are trying to get a temporary permit to do that very same thing…. Hey that’s very creative, but we don’t think a special event permit should evade that original denial, and we don’t think a temporary permit was ever intended for eight events spanning an entire summer! Can you imagine having a neighbor that continues to have a backyard party with a loud electric band every weekend ? That’s how a lot of Roscoe’s neighbors feel…

It could be worse. It could be Speed Metal!
It could be worse. It could be Speed Metal!

This is the Municipal Code that deals with temporary event permits in the City of Fullerton:

The Fullerton Municipal Code defines a special event as “an event that will be conducted outdoors to which the general public is admitted or invited. Such an event includes a carnival festival tent or car show, circus parade, auction rally or similar kind of temporary outdoor exhibit or performance” (Accents added).

As follows is the roster of Roscoe’s “special event” application-

Roscoe’s Special Events Request List:
Sunday June 14th Bootlegger Bike Fund Raiser. 4-9 pm
Saturday June 20th Silvia’s Engagement party. 7-12 pm
Sunday June 21st Fathers Day Celebration. 4-9pm
Sunday June 28th SOCO Guest Bartender Fund Raiser. 4-9 pm
Sunday July 12th Bootlegger Bike Fund Raiser. 4-9 pm
Sunday July 26th SOCO Guest Bartender Fund Raiser. 4-9pm
Sunday August 9th Bootlegger Bike Fund Raiser. 4-9pm
Sunday August 30th SOCO Guest Bartender Fund Raiser. 4-9 pm

Friends, you decide if this is just a way to get around the rules that all the rest of us are supposed to abide by. Let’s not forget that in the original permanent use hearing the City ignored its own environmental review obligations. Why is Famous Roscoes and its owner, Jack Franklyn, receiving all this special consideration and hand holding from the City? The law is the law. We all live by it everyday, and so should he.

MAGICAL FOOTBALL STADIUM EMERGES FROM NOWHERE!

It Wasn't Here a Minute Ago
It Wasn't Here a Minute Ago

The trustees over at the North Orange County Community College District have seemingly done the impossible, conjuring up a new football stadium at the FJC campus out of thin air. Apparently the neighbors aren’t too crazy about this sleight-of-hand since it means noise, lights, traffic, etc. They decided to raise their own ruckus, and in a democracy that’s a damn fine thing.

What happened was that the locals discovered the District had been guilty of “mission creep” or bureaucratic metastasis, or whatever you want to call it. But rather than our going on, let’s let neighbor Ken Bane speak for himself (courtesy of another FFFF thread):

“the EIR only contemplated a “renovation” of the track field. but when no one was looking, they added lighing, a PA system, and seating 2000+. When we caught their hand in the cookie jar they agreed to be a “good neighbor” and do the required supplemental CEQA review, like someone following the law makes them worthy, when in fact they wouldn’t have unless we busted them. And frankly, we’re skeptical they’ll do it right from here anyway.”

We recall a Ken Bane who used to work for the Fullerton Planning Department many years ago and wonder if this is the same fellow. If it is, we have confidence that his narration of the environmental deficiencies of the project is pretty accurate.

Now it may come as a shock to some of you Loyal Friends, but it is the government itself that is often the biggest scofflaw when it comes to abiding by CEQA (California Environmental Quality Act). Even when they don’t get a categorical exemption public agencies often find ways of dodging the intent of CEQA that could land you or me in the slammer.

NOCCCD Tries an End Run
NOCCCD Tries an End Run

As our own Fullerton Harpoon pointed out in response to Mr. Bane, this enhanced plan will require an amendment to an approved EIR including new facts not previously in evidence. Traffic, Noise and Aesthetic EIR categories will have to be addressed, and the new document should also include alternatives to the project – in this case one alternative could be to rent somebody else’s facility as a congenial part of a “no build” alternative; maybe it could be the Fullerton High School stadium a mere quarter of a mile away.

CEQA also requires that if there are unmitigated impacts (such as in this case lighting and noise will undoubdtedly be) a statement of overidding considerations be made identifying some objective public need for building the project. In this case it’s pretty hard to see how anybody could justify the necessity of a game-day stadium, especially for the few hundred spectators that show up for a typical Hornet game.

where'd everybody go?

This may be one of the rare cases where a citizen/neighborhood group can take on a government agency – and win. We will try to keep our devoted readers up to date on this issue.

Fullerton Councilperson Quirk is Developing a Hearing Problem; or a Memory Problem; or a Truth Problem

At the Fullerton City Council meeting on December 16, 2008, Councilperson Sharon Quirk said she had never had one person complain about the loud noise from Roscoe’s, and didn’t know it was an issue, and if it was so loud she should be able to hear it from her house. Quirk only lives a mile from Roscoe’s, as if anything less were unimportant! She said that right after Mrs. Teti spoke at the public hearing. Mrs. Teti lives next to and works at Richman School with Quirk, she told this blogger that she had spoken to Quirk on several occasions regarding her family’s years-long plight of being awoken between the hours of 10PM and 2AM by loud music and amplified background crowd noise emanating from Roscoe’s.

Now let’s hear from Mrs. Teti’s husband Mr. Ron Teti addressing the City Council on February 19, 2008.

Fullerton Council denies Roscoe’s appeal

Under the wise direction of newly elected Fullerton Mayor Don Bankhead, City Attorney Richard Jones instructed the other City Council Members to deny Roscoe’s Famous Deli owner Jack Franklin’s appeal of the Planning Commission’s denial of an application to maintain a bandstand for live and recorded amplified music outside. Councilperson Quirk said “I’ve never had one person come up to me” and complain about the loud music and that it can’t be that loud because she “cant hear it from [her] house” which is about a mile away. However, Mrs. Teti who lives next to Richman School some 3,000 feet away, told this reporter that she had spoken to Quirk on several occasions regarding her family’s years long plight of being  awoken between the hours of 10PM and 2AM by loud music and amplified background crowd noise emanating from Roscoe’s.