AND THE WINNERS ARE: THE 2009 FRINGIES

And the winners are...
And the winners are...

Well Friends, here they are – the 2009 Fringie Winners. You don’t really deserve this sort of punishment inflicted on you, but…well, hell, maybe you do! The competition was spirited in many of the categories. And by spirited I mean mind-numbingly depressing. And I’m just a dog! I had to take long breaks several times during the nomination and judging to water the fire hydrants along Brea Boulevard.

It was like getting hit with a broomstick all over again...
It was like getting hit with a broomstick all over again...

1. In the category of Least Distinguished Journalist it really wasn’t even close. The OC Register’s Frank Mickadeit took it going away for his complete lack of journalistic integrity. In the end the judges just didn’t feel that Sharon Kennedy or Barbara Giasone even really qualified as journalists. Martin Wisckol was given credit for showing up on the blog even tho’ it was merely to defend his embarrassing whoring for Ackerman, Inc.

2. In the category of the Worst Bureaucratic SNAFU, the judges were clearly impressed by not only the scope of the Poisoned Park disaster and its ongoing potential for more o’ same, but by city staff’s ability to avoid any and all responsibility for the multi-million dollar mess. Bravo, Mr. City Manager, you’re finally catching up with your predecessor, and that’s saying a lot!

3. Worst Vote of 2009. Bankhead, Jones, and Keller for the win of course, with their undying support of the Redevelopment expansion. And by win, of course, I mean disastrous loss for everyone outside the Redevelopment Department.

4. In the category of Scariest Ghost of Fullerton Past, we had an eerily close call. Yet despite the frightening surprise visitation from my former broomstick-wielding mistress Jan Flory, the judges were absolutely horrified by the noxious vapor of Linda LeQuire, conjured up by Ackerman Inc. out of some fetid and accursed burial ground, to smear Chris Norby. It didn’t work, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.

5. In the category of Stupidest Statement Made in Public we again had a tough decision. In a year when Dick Jones said so many idiotic things and Pam Keller claimed (with a perfectly straight face) to be a “fiscal conservative,” a dark horse nominee grabbed the brass ring. And by dark horse nominee I mean the daffy, loud-mouthed nincompoop member of “Pam’s Posse” and her crazy-funny “why Pam should be mayor” rhetorical ramble through the brambles. Go ahead and watchit. We dares ya!

6. In the Government Small Change Adds Up category the award goes to the Roscoe’s Famous Nuisance Noise Study, a wonderful example of ill-conceived bureaucratic waste on a small scale that makes us really worried about the big stuff.

7. The Most Entertaining and/or Disturbing Image of 2009. Barney Wewak for the win. Aw, c’mon, was there ever any doubt? The picture even has a dog in it. Arf!

Bary Wewak
The Friends For Fullerton's Future Have Friends Around the World...

8. Best Vote 2009. This one was pretty easy for the judges since by the time they got around to this category they had inhaled copious amounts of medicinal weed acquired from the Dick & MaryJane Jones Dispensary. Our old friend Sharon Quirk-Silva gets a double victory for seeing the proverbial light on the God-awful McDonald’s relocation; and also for opposing that fraudulent Redevelopment expansion.

9. Our final category is the Most Awful Political Candidate of 2009, and it goes to none other than Chris Norby for his abortive County Clerk campaign. Rarely had the judges seen such a blatant fixation on public sector job preservation and such a mismatch of skill set to position. The campaign slogan “Preserving Your Vital Records” was so insipid and so lame I have to lift my leg on it. Again. There. Clean up in aisle #9! Well deserved Fringie, indeed!

Finally, the Judging Committee decided to award three special Fringies in 2009 in order to recognize excessively, aesthetically unattractive behavior on the part of some of our political personalities.

10. Special Fringie #1. The call by Pam Keller for a City-run blog – with no bloggers – was such a wonderful monument to fatuousness and political tone-deafness that as a statement and an act it really was in a class by itself. You can enjoy our original post here and listen to Keller’s statement. Well done, Pam! You excelled yourself.

11. Special Fringie #2. Well of course we had to acknowledge Linda Ackerwoman whose scampaign in the 72nd must be considered positively evil (yes the judges said evil!) by any normal person. This creature did not qualify in the most Awful Political Candidate category since the whole operation seemed more like a jail break than a campaign. Who knows how many hundreds of simoleons per vote this cipher and her Sacramento-organized goons wasted. Oh well. It least it wasn’t our dough!

12. Special Fringie #3. The judges believed that they would have been remiss without a tip o’ the Fringed cap to Congresscritter-for-life Ed Royce, the rat who managed to swim away from the giant suction-vortex of the sinking S.S. Ackerman and happily scampered up the waiting rope ladder onto the S.S. Norby. Well done little rodent!

And so friends, that concludes the 2009 Fringie Awards. We hope you have enjoyed them as much as we have enjoyed bringing them to you. And if you didn’t, tough.

Here’s looking forward to a new year filled with wonderful material from our favorite folks in Fullerton!

The Fringies Advance Apace: Worst Vote 2009

trophy

UPDATE: WE HAVE NOW INCLUDED LAST NIGHT’S (12/15/09) CITY COUNCIL VOTE TO APPROVE THE RICHMAN HOUSING PROJECT (SEE #6). SINCE THE COUNCIL IS DONE VOTING IN 2009 WE CAN NOW CLOSE THE NOMINATIONS.

The Worst Vote 2009 category is reserved for politicians who really stepped in it big time. This is one of the biggies, so you won’t want to miss this award. Here are the five nominees:

1. Councilman Don Bankhead deserves recognition, all right. In a 22-year council career jam-packed with horrible decisions this year he truly distinguished himself. His “until death” support of the completely horrendous $6 million McDonald’s relocation move was just breathtaking. Even Doc Heehaw opposed that one, and that’s saying a lot.

2. A joint nomination: Don Bankhead (again!), Pam Keller, and our old pal Dick Jones for their brainless devotion to the Redevelopment expansion founded on a fraudulent finding of blight. We have catalogued all the idiotic things said in defense of the indefensible, and its an impressive catalogue of confused thinking, indeed. And FFFF has sued the Agency to help it get it’s collective mind right.

3. Another joint nomination. FSD Trustees Hilda Sugarman and Ellen Ballard for voting to hire (for up to $100,000) a consultant to “study” the feasibility of a parcel tax. Minard Duncan is also included in this nomination since he abstained, too cowardly to even make a decision one way or the other. Say why does Ed Royce keep endorsing Ballard and Sugarman? (Rhetorical question only – no response necessary).

4. The Fullerton Planning Commission for actually granting Jack Franklyn a bogus “special events” permit covering numerous events  for several months so that he could continue to offend his neighbors with outdoor amplified music at Roscoe’s Famous Nuisance. We also note that one of his neighbors subsequently went out of business and another Franklyn enterprise is moving into the empty space.

5. The entire City Council for mindlessly jacking up the commodity rates on water and in doing so increasing the in-lieu franchise payment to the General Fund. Not a single council person even bothered to ask why. Shame, shame, shame.

6. Don Bankhead, Pam Keller, and Dick Jones. Again. And Again. For their vote to approve the utterly ill-conceived, staff-created Richaman Avenue subsidized condo project. Shawn Nelson recused himself.

The Ed Royce Endorsement

On a very recent post commenter “Umbrella Alert” notes that Chris Norby’s use of the very very recent Ed Royce endorsement in his ballot statement is something of a “kick in the teeth” to folks who supported Norby when it counted. Now Norby doesn’t even need Royce’s bendable and character-free endorsement, but there it is.

Ackerwoman? Never heard of her...
Ackerwoman? Never heard of her...

Hard to disagree. This smells a lot like a “let’s all get together and forget the near past” orchestration – a past that included Royce’s warm endorsement of an unqualified carpetbagger who lied to the voters claiming to be a “businesswoman” and who spent two months slandering Norby’s reputation in just about the worst possible way. Remember that Ed?

No doubt Norby’s campaign consultants and lobbyists are telling Norby to climb into the Repuglican Clown Car. That’s where the money is. What’s next? A glowing testimonial to Dick and Linda Ackerman as life-long dedicated public servants?

Excuse me. I may just barf up my breakfast.

The Candidates Should be Ashamed of Their Ballot Statements

I was talking to a co-worker the other day about the 72nd AD Special Election Sample ballot that came out last week. He expressed a feeling of disgust about the statements of the two traditional party candidates. I asked him to write up a post on the subject and he obliged. Here it is. The images were added by yours truly.

The Republican and Democrat candidates for the 72nd Assembly District Election ought to be ashamed of their ballot statements. But shame, as we learned from the example of Mike Duvall, is an emotion with a real low threshold for most politicians.

Just damn glad to be here...
Just damn glad to be here...

Let’s first examine Chris Norby’s ballot statement. He mentions how his opposition to higher taxes has earned him the endorsement of Tom McClintock and Ed Royce. Ed Royce? What kind of nonsense is this? A few weeks ago Ed Royce was supporting the lying, fraudulent, carpetbagging campaign of Linda Ackerman. And now Norby is bragging about the value of the endorsement from this empty little suit?

Norby touts his “vote” to place immigration agents in County jails to weed out illegal aliens. Why INS agents are needed to “identify” aliens is unclear and what, exactly they are doing in the jails remains a mystery. Well “whoop-de-do” as Archie Bunker once said. This is not an accomplishment, just pandering to the rabid anti-immigrant crowd, and Norby should know better. 

Norby also takes credit for “spearheading” “improvements” to the 5 and 22 freeways as Chairman of the OCTA, even though both projects were in the works long before Norby showed up; and of course, the 22 was months and months behind schedule until the OCTA bureaucrats and the contractor worked out a massive, mutual face-saving change order that cost the taxpayers tens of millions of dollars.

So much for Norby.

Now, let’s take a look at the ballot statement of Norby’s opponent, Democrat John MacMurray.

MacMurray graduated from donkey college...
Why don't they send donkeys to college? Because nobody likes a smart ass.

As a public school teacher should we expect more from MacMurray than a clumsy metaphor? Of course not! For MacMurray the awkward concept is the “three-legged table” supported equally by the three balanced legs of private sector, non-profit sector, and public sector. Everybody who has ever seen a three legged table please raise his hand. Apparently, John is worried about using the word “stool,” which is what his statement starts to smell like in the very first sentence.

I have great reservations about Mr. MacMurray’s invention of  a “non-profit sector,” especially after the FFFF discoveries about how Fullerton’s Pam Keller has so effectively blurred the line between non-profit and public sector – so as to make the distinction in the mind of a liberal, non-existent.

MacMurray’s assertion that “we keep cutting support for our education system and cutting access to it” is obviously designed to generate outrage in the noblest liberal breast, but it’s a lie. Proposition 98 provides that a guaranteed percentage of the State budget goes to “education.” At least it goes to education spending. Any overall budget reductions are the fault of MacMurray’s spend-crazy Democrats in the Legislature who just can’t say nyet to the demands of public employee unions.

Cliches, lies, nonsense. Can’t we finally get an honest and intelligent ballot statement from the two candidates who are able to pay for one? Guess not. Not yet, anyway.

FFFF Image of the Month

Here is Fullerton’s own congressman, Ed Royce, taking a rather, er, informal pose with a tall willowy blond woman at a recent White House function. Why this woman’s hand is on his chest is anybody’s guess, but judging by the happy look on Ed’s face he has granted his willing assent for this familiarity by a new friend.

Ed-Royce-poses-with-Obama-party-crasher-Michaele-Salahi
Come back to my place and I'll show you my stamp collection...

Oh, and by the way, this is the female half of the uninvited couple who crashed the White House party, setting off a bit of a storm, security-wise. Since Ed is a super-duper foreign affairs expert, let’s hope she didn’t pump him for any high-level information.

Is Pam Keller Qualified to Be Mayor?

Yes. At least based on the abilities of those who have preceded her. People like Dick Jones, Don Bankhead, Mike Clesceri, Leland Wilson, etc., etc. Well, you get the point. To use a Harpoon line: a ling cod could do the job.

Yes. I could do that job.
Yes. I could do that job.

Yes, Friends it’s that time of year, when the largely brain-dead city council selects one of their own to preside over their meetings as they habitually rubber stamp what’s put in front of them by their staff. And so we pose the question in our title.

But let’s refine the question to address the idiot woman who showed up with Pam’s Pamette posse last week, and who insisted on framing the issue in gender terms: is Pam Keller qualified to be mayor because simple because she is a woman and it’s her turn? Here the whole thing breaks down into a pathetic little skirmish to see who can produce the stupidest reason for doing something.

If a food fish could do it, so could Pam, we think...
If a food fish could do it, so could Pam, we think...

The Ed Royce/Dick Ackerman team that recently crashed the Ackerwoman dirigible in a Raymond Hills fireball, will no doubt have been working hard behind the scenes to keep Keller out, using the same, brainless argument they always have: Fullerton is Republican so the mayor shoud be too; forget the fact that every RINO Royce and Ackerman have foisted on us in the past 20 years have virtually identical voting records with the handful of Democrats on the council. They probably will work the very two RINOS they have backed in the past – Bankhead and Jones to keep Keller out.

It wasn't pretty when she went down. Oh! The humanity!
It wasn't pretty when she went down. Oh! The humanity!

Counter that with the petulant fulminations of The Yellowing Fullerton Observers and the dopey gal at last meeting’s mike whose only recourse is: it’s her turn (hands clasped in fervent prayer, eyes transfixed on acoustical ceiling)! These alleged innocents proclaim their freedom from nasty political interests but never mention the fact that using the title “mayor” in her campaign propaganda will help Keller get re-elected.

We don't know our cloaca from a hole in the ground.
We don't know our cloaca from a hole in the ground.

Yech.

Apart from the fact that these cretins generally deserve each other, we will repeat the same thing said elsewhere on these pages: the person who can get two other votes is the one who “deserves” to be mayor.

The Ackerwoman for Assembly Hall of Shame

On another thread Fullerton School Board member and seemingly clueless Ackerwoman supporter, Minard Duncan, popped up like a milk weed to question our apparent dislike of his fellow Ackerwoman cheerleader Mimi Walters.

This jump started an earlier idea to publish the names of all the lackeys, stooges and repuglicans who signed onto Ackerman Inc.’s Big Lie Tour of 2009.

This is a list of the elected officials that decided their best interests lay in the endorsement of Linda Ackerman for the 72nd Assembly District. Enjoy the asinine quotations at the bottom of the page and be sure to pick out your favorites on the list for special attention. We have helpfully highlighted in red the names of politicians in whose elections Fullerton voters will get to participate.

I supported Linda, a great American...
Members of Congress
  • Congressman Ed Royce
  • Congressman Dana Rohrabacher
  • Former Congressman Bill Dannemeyer

Statewide Elected Officials

  • BOE Member Bill Leonard
  • Former State Secretary of Education and Mayor of Los Angeles Richard Riordan

State Senators

  • Senate Republican Leader Dennis Hollingsworth
  • Former Senate Republican Leader Jim Brulte
  • Former Senate Republican Leader Dick Ackerman
  • Former Senator Marian Bergeson
  • Senator Mark Wyland
  • Senator Mimi Walters
  • Senator Bob Huff
  • Senator Bob Dutton
  • Senator George Runner
  • Senator Sam Aanestad 
  • Senator John Benoit 
  • Senator Abel Maldonado
  • Senator Dave Cox

State Assemblymembers

  • Former Assembly Republican Leader Mike Villines
  • Assemblyman Jim Silva
  • Assemblyman Joel Anderson
  • Assemblyman Ted Gaines
  • Assemblyman Nathan Fletcher
  • Assemblywoman Diane Harkey
  • Former Assemblywoman Lynn Daucher
  • Former Assemblywoman Sharon Runner
  • Former Assemblyman Tom Bordonaro
  • Former Assemblyman Openmike Duval
  • Former Assemblywoman Marilyn Brewer

Orange County

  • Orange County Sheriff Sandra Hutchens
  • Orange County Supervisor Pat Bates
  • Orange County Supervisor Bill Campbell
  • Orange County Supervisor Janet Ngyuen
  • Orange County District Attorney Tony Rackauckas
  • Former Orange County Supervisor Cynthia Coad

Anaheim

  • Anaheim Mayor Curt Pringle

Fullerton

  • Fullerton Mayor Don Bankhead
  • Fullerton Councilmember Dick Jones
  • Former Mayor of Fullerton Buck Catlin
  • Former Mayor Leland Wilson
  • Former Mayor Peter Godfry
  • Former Mayor of Fullerton Jerry Christie
  • Former Mayor of Fullerton Linda LeQuire
  • Former Fullerton Police Chief Pat McKinley

Placentia

  • Former Placentia Mayor Scott Brady
  • Placentia Councilmember Jeremy Yamaguchi

Orange

  • City of Orange Mayor Carolyn Cavecche
  • City of Orange Councilmember Mark Murphy
  • City of Orange Councilmember Jon Dumitru

Yorba Linda

  • Yorba Linda Mayor Mark Schwing
  • Yorba Linda Councilmember Jim Winder

Villa Park

  • Villa Park Mayor Pro Tem Bill Mac Aloney

Brea

  • Brea Mayor John Beauman
  • Brea Councilmember Roy Moore

La Habra

  • La Habra Councilmember James Gomez
  • La Habra Councilmember Steve Simonian
  • Former La Habra Mayor Juan Garcia
  • Former La Habra City Councilmember John Holmberg

Elected Leaders

  • Tustin Mayor Doug Davert
  • Tustin Mayor Pro Tem Jerry Amante
  • Laguna Hills Mayor Joel Lautenschleger
  • City of Covina Mayor Walt Allen
  • Newport Beach City Councilmember Steven Rosansky
  • Capistrano Unified School District Trustee, Anna Bryson
  • Fullerton School District Trustees Maynard Duncan, Ellan Ballard, Hilda Sugarman, Lynn Thornly.

“Having called North Orange County her home for over 30 years, Linda is by far the most experienced and effective candidate for Assembly. She is a respected leader who will restore dignity to the office while fighting for Orange County values.”- Former Assemblywoman Lynn Daucher

“Linda has been a steadfast conservative leader in Orange County for many years. She will be ready to lead on the important budget issues facing the region and the state on day one.”- Assemblywoman Diane Harkey

“I am proud to stand by Linda in her campaign to promote conservative leadership and higher standards to the California State Assembly.”

– State Senator Mimi Walters.

“Linda Ackerman is an experienced leader who has proven her dedication to the community time and time again, I am proud to support her campaign for State Assembly because I know she will be ready to lead on the issues our state faces on day one after being elected.”- Senator Bob Huff

“Linda Ackerman has always done what is right for the sake of the community, not political gain. She is a proven leader who will help solve California’s budget crisis and bring Orange County values to the State Assembly.”- City of Orange Mayor Carolyn Cavecche

“Linda Ackerman is an experienced businesswoman and community leader who I trust to help balance the budget and rein in out of control spending in Sacramento. North Orange County needs Linda in the Assembly fighting for real budget reform.” – Anaheim Mayor Curt Pringle

“We need an experienced leader who will fight for North Orange County. That’s why I’m supporting Linda Ackerman for State Assembly,” Fullerton Mayor Don Bankhead

“When it comes to the safety of our children, Linda Ackerman will never back down.”- Former Fullerton Police Chief Pat McKinley

“I wholeheartedly endorse Linda in her campaign for Assembly. As a businesswoman and community philanthropist she has been an active leader in North Orange County and is by far the best person to represent us in the Assembly” -Yorba Linda Mayor Mark Schwing

Paid For by Ackerman for Assembly 2009, FPPC ID #1321372

More Phony Hand Wringing From the Skipper of the Yellowing Submarine

Ahoy there, reality - unable to surface...
Ahoy there, reality - unable to surface...

A new month, the same old weeping by the Fullerton Observer about how the good ol’ boys are keeping poor Pam Keller from her entitlement to be mayor when the next term starts. It’s not fair! Not fair!

(Ed. – Never a word about Keller’s dismal votes on massive projects or her unique working relationship with FSD/Fullerton Collaborative, but that’s another story.)

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: the person who is entitled to be mayor is the council person who can get two other people on the council to vote for him. Pretty simple. Nothing else really matters.

The author of this indignant drivel lays out a conspiracy tale of events behind the scenes to keep a Democrat out of the presiding chair; and as usual the plot centers around Shawn Nelson, without whom the Observer would have a lot less to natter on about. Ironically the tangled web includes Observer favorite Don Bankhead and by necessity another Observer endorsement recipient – Dick Jones! Observer chickens coming home to roost? God, let’s hope so!

Politics might be going on. The horror! Of course despite the Observer trying to emphasize the ceremonial (i.e. non-political) aspects of the mayorship, the fact is it is a very coveted title when re-election time rolls around – as it does for Pam Keller, next year. Aha! Politics!

So is a scheme being worked out to elect somebody else mayor for 2010? Possibly. Quite likely, although since none of the supposed principles would be likely to talk to Sharon Kennedy about it, it seems much more likely to be a pure guess on her part. Our congressman Ed Royce loves to meddle in these affairs; to him it seems easier than simply turning on the light and opening the closet door to discover that there really is no monster in there. Just some mops and brooms.

And speaking of politics, maybe The Observer should quit endorsing Ed Royce puppets like the chowderhead Jones and focus on somebody who could actually be counted on to support Keller for mayor. Oh no! More politics.

800 Pound Gorilla For Council in 2010?

A while back Congressman and purveyor of lousy RINO city council candidates, Ed Royce, was overheard bragging about the 800 pound gorilla he was going to be unleashing on Fullerton political scene. Who was this electoral juggernaut? None other than now former Police Chief Pat McKinley.

He's big. He's bad. He's baaaaack!
He's big. He's bad. He's baaaaack!

With McKinley’s endorsement of Mrs. Ackerman to replace her disgraced pal Mike Duvall, the pieces all seem to fit. It looks like McKinley has indeed decided to run for City Council next year and has worked out an endorsement swap with the Repuglican elite.

The choice of McKinley on the part of the Repugs would in no way be surprising. As an ex-cop he could be counted on to secure the law ‘n order vote as well as charm the bluehairs. He’s getting up there age-wise, and in poses zero political threat to the Repug machine. Who cares if he is an ex-city government employee and likely to go along with every staff proposal and boondoggle? He would be following in the proud footsteps of Don Bankhead, Dick Jones, Leland Wilson, Mike Clesceri, Julie Sa, Peter Godfrey, Buck Catlin, and even Dick Ackerman himself. Who knows? Maybe even the Yellowing Observers might go along for the ride. After all they went with Dick Jones, right?

Best of all, he’s not a female Democrat, the hideous monster that inhabits Ed Royce’s closet at night.

Ed left the closet door open again...
Oops! Ed's left the closet door open again...