Dick Jones
Dick Jones is a councilmember in the City of Fullerton. He is known for using his position on the council to serve out mindless babble and execute revenge on those who have spited him in decades past.
Apologies to Dick Jones; Welcome to Kharakhastan!
Posted by The Fullerton Harpoon in Dick Jones, Friends Around the World on March 3, 2010
UPDATE: BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND #2!
We have had a lot of fun on this site making fun of City Councilman Dick Jones and his clockwork-regular gaffes and buffooneries. But, when you’re right, you’re right. We teased him for his creation of what we thought was a purely imaginary place: Kharakhastan, and we had some fun at his expense. Well, aren’t we embarrassed! It turns out there really is such a place!
A little research by our International Geography and Socio-Ethnography Department uncovered the following information:
Kharakhastan is a small ethnic enclave located within the Republic of Kazakhstan (former Soviet SSR) that comprises 135,000 square kilometers with a population of approximately 211,000 (2006 census).
Kharakh wrestlers await competition at local festival
The geography consists of arid upland steppe ascending to sub-alpine terrain and ultimately to high peaks. The highest point is Krysighi Peak (formerly known as Mt. Stalin’s Birthday and later Worker’s Peak), at 5439 meters high. The main industry in Kharakhastan is animal husbandry including sheep and tapirs, although a burgeoning Asian market for an aphrodisiac distilled from beaver gonads has spawned a nascent beaver ranching business in the many small tributaries that descend Krysighi Peak.
A typical Kharakh family
The principal city in the Kharakhastan region is Pilgur, documented by the Venetian Marco Polo, and known for its splendid 16th Century mosque.
When Kazakhstan broke away from the former Soviet Union in 1991, Kharakastan declared its own independence as a sovereign republic, an independence that lasted a mere four days and was crushed by Kazakh leader Nursultan Nazarbayev, who arrested Kharakh politcal headmen and outlawed the Kharakhastani People’s Liberation Party (LPKI).
Kharakhastan has never been recognized by the internatonal community, although former American President Bill Clinton toured the area in 2006 on a visit to Kazakhstan. The Reformed Kharakhastani People’s Liberation Party (LPKID) currently holds 3 seats in the Khazakh legislature.
Well, there you have it. Kharakhastan. Who knew? And to Dick Jones, our profound apologies!
Council Fusterclucks Mayoral Succession
Posted by The Fullerton Shadow in Behind Closed Doors, Dick Jones, Don Bankhead, Fullerton City Council, Pam Keller, Sharon Quirk, Shawn Nelson on February 19, 2010
Okay, Friends, this draft fell out the back of the blog sock-drawer and I just rescued it. It’s a couple weeks old, but still germane, of course.
At last Tuesday’s meeting we expected some fun on the agenda item of who gets to be mayor, but boy did we underestimate the Council’s ability to entertain.
Tanned, rested and ready.
Of course Pam Keller was still sore about getting passed over by the “good old boys” in December and still wanted to kick the issue around. Apparently Pam and her Posse of Political Whatevers had been doing some lobbying behind the scenes, because at the end of issue the council collectively settled upon a “policy” approach that will rotate the mayor gig via seniority. And Dick Jones is next in line followed, finally by Keller, presumably in 2012. Unless Jones declines the honor or hits the road.
The proceedings included the usual incoherent ramblings and musings by some of our council favorites and of course a Fullerton City Council meeting wouldn’t be any fun without Don Bankhead re-inventing history and suddenly claiming he was for this “rotation” system all along (even though he was part of the deal to keep himself mayor two short months ago, and despite the fact that there has never, ever been any system of the kind).
Did I do that? I don't remember. Where's Miss Fullerton?
In the end the promises don’t mean all that much. It still takes 3 votes to elect somebody mayor and by next fall there may be three brand-new council persons – some of whom may very well be disinclined to follow the “policy” set by their predecessors. On the other hand the mission of keeping Keller from running for re-election with the title “Mayor” has been accomplished by Ed Royce & Company. So maybe after 2010 nobody will care for another three years who the mayor is.
Did Fullerton Councilman Assault Female Cop At Christmas Party?
Posted by admin in Behind Closed Doors, Dead heads, Dick Jones, Fullerton City Council, Repuglicanism, Setting The Bar Low on February 17, 2010
UPDATE: I spoke yesterday with the officer in question who has stated unequivocally that an incident did in fact occur, and that Councilman Jones has mischaracterized his innocence. The officer has been instructed by City Human Resources Department to avoid further communication with us.
We all know that Christmas parties are notorious for bad behavior on the part of some of the participants. When you are an elected official maybe you believe you can get away with some extracurricular activity without reproach. And maybe you are a just a bigger target for nasty accusations that aren’t true.
Jones Denies Story
Which is the case with Councilman F. Richard “Dick” Jones?
We have been informed by separate sources, both in the Fullerton PD and in City Hall, that Jones slapped a female Fullerton police detective on her buttocks at a police union Christmas Party on December 18th at the Summit House restaurant; and that the physical assault was followed up with a dismissive slur regarding Dick’s perception of the officer’s sexual orientation.
Yesterday we sent Dick Jones an e-mail asking him to respond to this allegations. Here is what he said:
I just learned of this allegation this weekend. This is completely untrue and I have no idea why or how this rumor was started. People who know me, know I would do no such thing to anyone. Thank you for asking me. Such an accusation is very upsetting as there is no truth to it!
So now we have an accusation and a denial, and as yet no response from the officer in question. So the real question is why anybody in the Fullerton PD would attempt what would evidently be a smear on Jones? That’s a good question and one we will be pursuing.
In any case, difficulties arise, including the possibility of a cover-up of this alleged incident within both City Hall, as well as in the ranks of the police union itself. Apart from the issue of a typical hush-up for a politician, there remains the subject of other parties who may have a stake in making sure that news of the alleged incident doesn’t get out. The City Manager is a close personal friend of Mr. Jones, and would certainly render any investigation problematic. Meanwhile, the police union is apparently in the process of bargaining a new agreement and may very well be in need of Jones’ vote.
If true, the incident would certainly center on the behavior of Jones, of course; and also the rights of the officer in question who may be feeling pressure from her bosses and also from her union brethren to let the matter go – at least for now.
Alternatively we are confronted with the possibility that someone within the Fullerton Police Department has concocted and sold a story in order to make Jones look bad. But what for? Who knows? In any case, the timing may be poor. Angering a potential vote during labor negotiations is probably not the best idea.
We’ll stay on top of this as best we can. Particularly to make sure that this situation doesn’t end up playing a part in a labor agreement negotiation.
Dick Jones is an Obama Republican!
Posted by The Fullerton Harpoon in Dead heads, Dick Jones, Repuglicanism on February 13, 2010
UPDATE: Like Jello, there’s always room for more Dr. Phogbottom. From last fall.
Ah the unkindest cut of all! But true.
Listen as Fullerton Councilman Jones explains how Redevelopment is there to build infrastructure for nightclubs, as well as hand out interest-free loans, to stim-u-late business. So much for a conservative’s faith in free enterprise and keeping gummint out of our lives. Seems like Jones has a special place in his heart for corporate welfare - dished out to his buddies in downtown Fullerton.
So how is this different from the federal “stimulus” cooked up by Prez Obama? We have to wonder if all those bluehair Federated Republican Women who see Obama as some sort of commie, know what a card-carrying socialist their beloved Doc Jones is.
And once again we ask, how in good conscience can supposed conservative Ed Royce keep supporting this mallet head? Aha! First he would need a good conscience!
Just Let it Alone, Will Ya?
Posted by Grover Cleveland in Dead heads, Dick Jones, Don Bankhead, Fullerton BooHoo, Fullerton City Council, Pam Keller, Setting The Bar Low, Sharon Quirk, Shawn Nelson on February 2, 2010
Let's collaborate some more on my being mayor.
As Christian noted here, tonight the Fullerton City Council will address the issue of how somebody gets to be mayor. It’s Item #7. Ho-hum. Seems some Fullertonians just can’t seem to bend their collective mind around the fact that Pam Keller got passed over for mayor. Boohoo.
The topic of mayoral “rotation” has been kicked around since last September when the Yellowing Observer sensed trouble was a comin’ for their gal. They were right.
Here at FFFF we’ve been saying the same thing all along. The person who deserves to be mayor is the one that can earn the confidence and support of two other colleagues – one way or the other. Keller couldn’t do that. Too bad for her. Politics? Shame, shame, shame!
So why is the issue on the agenda now? Must be because Keller wants it there. Hard to imagine anybody else wanting to whip this dead mule anymore.
One of the interesting things about this item, and one that may fall under the heading of unintended consequences, is that the City Clerk staff called around and found out that of the twenty-eight cities in OC that do not have an elected mayor only one has a mechanism for ensuring everybody gets to be mayor. One. That comes out to less than 4%, and that gives the lie to Sharon Kennedy’s weepy assertion that Fullerton was somehow different from other cities that share the mayor job. Fullerton is in fact exactly like all of the other cities in OC (except one, apparently). But of course we already knew that.
The final wrinkle in the issue comes with the City Clerk raising the possibility of an elected mayor in Fullerton, and how much it might cost. Who asked for that? How will that ensure mayoral rotation – or is it simply an alternative? Election only happen every other year so it seems like an odd idea to say the least.
Anyway, if you want to watch Pam’s Political Whatevers get up and make chimps of themselves again be sure to tune in tonight. Or better yet, go in person.
Anti-Democratic Idea Being Considered By City Council
Posted by The Desert Rat in Behind Closed Doors, Dick Jones, Don Bankhead, Former Fullerton Councilmembers, Fullerton City Council, Pam Keller, Setting The Bar Low, Sharon Quirk, Shawn Nelson on February 1, 2010
When council members attack...
As reported earlier by Christian, the Fullerton City Council at its meeting tomorrow will discuss moving “Public Comments” to the end of meetings rather than at the beginning – where they are scheduled now. It’s item #6 on the agenda.
Apparently agendizing this concept was the brainchild of the brainless Dick Jones, author of a million malaprops and febrile, southern-fried bozoisms.
Up until about fifteen years ago the Public Comments were indeed held at the end of the meetings – right where the old guard wanted them – at 11:00 pm, or so, by which time all the malcontents and troublemakers had gone home. You see, they really liked the idea of all that wasted time up front handing out their parchments, gold stars and blue ribbons to happy citizens, but didn’t care to have any negativity go on the record.
Not coincidentally, these were the same folks that fought for years to keep the meetings from being televised.
The system finally was reversed ’round about the mid-nineties in an effort to appear more transparent and actually do something that would be convenient for the citizens and taxpayers. It was a good decision.
So now a decade and a half later there is evidently a move to go back to the old method of silencing public input. Why? Is Jones just tired of staying up so late? If so, maybe he ought to just start keeping his big bazoo shut. That alone will get him home 45 minutes earlier.
Let’s remind Jones and the rest of the Council that sometimes democracy is a bit messy, and that they and their staff work for us – not the other way around.
A Promise Was Made. Will It Be Kept?
Posted by Joe Sipowicz in Dick Jones, Don Bankhead, Fullerton City Council, Pam Keller, Sharon Quirk, Shawn Nelson on January 28, 2010
More than a year ago a majority of the Fullerton City Council agreed to put the idea of a three term limit to a plebescite. Councilmembers Sharon Quirk, Pam Keller and Shawn Nelson were for it; Dick Jones and Don Bankhead were against it.
Dick and I aren't going anywhere...
At the time we ran this post, which we updated in last October. Well, Friends, with the impending June primary election the time has come to remind Quirk, Keller, and Nelson of their promise. It’s not that we don’t trust them, but folks just get so gosh darn busy and their calendars fill up.
But seriously: now that a year has passed and the cold reality of actually having to do something approaches, will there be political remorse?
We’ll soon find out.
Mr. Dick Jones on Marijuana
Posted by admin in Dick Jones, Marijuana, Pam Keller, Shawn Nelson, Statewide Stuff on January 23, 2010
Yes Friends! Just because you deserve it. It’s that time again! Time to relish these precious hip-hop drug guy moments! New year, same buffoon. Enjoy!
Attorney Dick Jones Spins Out New City Policy To Cover Posterior
Posted by admin in Behind Closed Doors, Dick Jones on January 20, 2010
He droned. And droned. And droned some more. When he was done his crapola lay before the City Council and public like the steaming load of road apples it was.
Well like they say, the road apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Back in November City Attorney (Junior Grade) Tom Duarte had told the Planning Commission that their range of review on the ghastly Richman housing project did not include economic considerations. At Tuesday night’s city council meeting his boss, City Attorney Dick Jones, defended his boy by cooking up a line of nonsense about city “policy” precluding the Planning Commission from considering economic viability factors in its review of projects, even apparently a highly subsidized one like the Richman disaster-in-the-making. As you can see he keeps blathering on about “historic” roles and “prior direction” blah, blah, blah.
By the time of Tuesday’s meeting, even the city planning staff had admitted that there was nothing to preclude economic consideration by the commission. To the contrary, a detailed staff memo by city planner Al Zelinka documented the many instances where such review was not only appropriate, but required. As expected, staff started waffling again at the meeting, but we already have it from them, in writing! We shared it with you here. Since the legal jig was up, Jones fell back on his lame-ass “policy” response.
And we challenge attorney Jones to point out exactly which council resolution(s) puts that alleged ”policy” into effect. hell, go ahead and point out a single vote that established this policy. Go ahead, Mr. Jones. Do it. Enlighten us. Prove to us that you are not merely protecting the ill-advised action of your employee.
As an odd footnote, Jones noted that Planning Commissions do review and advise on development disposition agreements. Which begs the question: on this highly subsidized housing project, why didn’t they?
Hmm.
The Stooge In The Middle
Posted by admin in Dead heads, Dick Jones, Don Bankhead, Fullerton BooHoo, Fullerton City Council, Pam Keller on January 20, 2010
Admin
Several years ago Morris Feinberg penned a biography about his late brother Larry Fein entitled “Larry, The Stooge in the Middle”. This clever and memorable title suggests a parallel to our own Fullerton City Council.
I always prefer the middle
Twice a month first term Mayor Pro Tem Pam Keller takes her seat at the council dais between Dick “Moe” Jones and Don “Curley” Bankhead. In recent months she has become the crucial third vote to approve some dubious Redevelopment projects. No stranger to giving her stamp of approval to terrible developments like Amerige Court and Jefferson Commons, she is always careful to pepper the city staff with a few probing questions before throwing her support firmly behind it (“I got it Moe!”). Lately, though, with Sharon Quirk-Silva withdrawing her support for boondoggles like the recently approved low income housing on Richman and the illegal Redevelopment expansion, and Shawn Nelson voting likewise against them or taking a powder entirely, Pam Keller has cast the deciding “yes”, taking her place as The Stooge in the Middle.
The middle here I come
Larry Fein had a long stretch as a Stooge, but Pam Keller is up for re-election this year. One has to assume that challenger Marty Burbank has come to boot Pam aside to claim the mantle of middle Stooge for himself. He has already signaled his worthiness of the title by shilling for the Chamber of Commerce in support of the aforementioned expansion of Fullerton’s Merged Redevelopment Area. Of course, we don’t know what else Marty stands for, since the “Issues” page on his website is completely empty, but we don’t suppose he means to bump aside fellow Rotarian Bankhead, who will undoubtedly endorse the new would-be Larry.
There are some wild cards in play, however. What if Shawn Nelson is elected as 4th District County Supervisor? What if the rumors are true that Dick Jones plans to step down sometime this year? There may be room for Shemp, and even Curley Joe to fill out the second half of as many as two council terms. Then who will be The Stooge in the Middle?
Large clumps of hair went missing
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