More Fun at NUFF Forum: The Flory Blurt


Looking down from Doggy Heaven at last night’s NUFF forum I noticed my former mistress Jan Flory in attendance. At one point during Shawn Nelson’s observation that County bureaucrats were hardly a necessity to get hitched, my one-time owner blurted a loud ejaculation.

It sounded like “who’s going to marry you?”

Well, that’s a Hell of a stupid question, besides being pretty rude to someone who’s speaking, but that’s my mistress for you. Of course if anybody pulled that stunt on her she would have smacked them with the business end of her broomstick.

Defender of traditional marriage - the kind performed by a County bureaucrat!

Anyway, I’ll tell you who will marry people: their priests; their rabbis; their ministers; their ashram maharishis. Who cares? Why should a civil servant in a plastic robe do it under a dopey arch of fake flowers?

Jeez, I can figure that out and I’m just a dog.

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  1. #1 by Anonymous on January 26, 2010

    Totally agree. Get government out of the marriage business altogether. Let people file for a civil contract with the local government, but if they want their union blessed in some way meaningful to them, that’s their business, not the government’s.

  2. #2 by Joe Sipowicz on January 26, 2010

    Right. Nelson may have just unwittingly solved the gay marriage issue. Once the government gets out of the marriage business they can’t deny it to anybody.

    FYI, I did one of those Daly courthouse weddings. I ended up spending 90 bucks so some idiot that could barely read, officiated. Whoop-de-do!

  3. #3 by Travis on January 26, 2010

    Isn’t Flory a divorce attorney? Bureaucracy = billable hours.

    Imagine a world where people could make thier own contracts with whomever they pleased and the government only needed to get involved when there was a dispute. It would solve a lot more problems than just gay marriage.

  4. #4 by Poor Jan on January 26, 2010

    She used to be somebody. Now she’s just a rude postscript. Please leave her alone. She doesn’t matter.

  5. #5 by Hollis Dugan on January 26, 2010

    Gee Jan, I got married in a church, I hear Pam Keller even performed a ceremony for someone last year. Sounds like you could pretty much get the “ceremony” part taken care of anywhere.

    I dont even think my pastor is part of a union yet he had us recite the vows without a hitch. Imagine the possibilities.

  6. #6 by Anonymous on January 27, 2010

    Hate to break it to Nelson, but I heard this suggestion several years ago at an ACLU meeting.

  7. #7 by Joe Sipowicz on January 27, 2010

    Break it to Nelson?

    Break it to me. It was my idea (original – I’ve never been to an ACLU meeting) I actaully got the idea after forking over 90 bucks to Daly to have one of his sloths “marry” us.

    But I’m happy to share the credit.

  8. #8 by The Fullerton Shadow on January 27, 2010

    Oh, Joe. You’re such a romantic. You’d have hired a Marryin’ Sam on the street corner to save ten bucks.

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